


Countdown

by iL0Vsuperman



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Assassination Attempt(s), Brainwashing, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Falling In Love, Graphic Violence, Kidnapping, M/M, Memory Loss, Mutual Pining, Separations, Sexual Content, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, Soulmates, Stony - Freeform, Superfamily, Superfamily (Marvel), Superhusbands (Marvel), Unwanted Fighting, natbucky, surprise meeting, winterwidow - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-05-29 02:39:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 63,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6355564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iL0Vsuperman/pseuds/iL0Vsuperman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where people use timer implants to help find their soulmates, you would think finding your soulmate and love would be easy.<br/>But…</p><p>Steve had a soul implant that was zeroed out, meaning he did not have a countdown to meet a soulmate. Steve easily reasoned he did not have a soulmate because he had bad genes, a common belief of his era. Despite this, he prayed for his implant to reset and to meet the person who would accept him for all he is.</p><p>Tony created a program for soulmates to find each other faster just so he could meet his soulmate before he turned 40. But, his soulmate never used the program, and it made Tony bitter and eventually begin to hate his mate. </p><p>Bucky had a zeroed out implant like Steve and, like Steve, prayed for his implant to reset. His prayers were answered, however, it was years later, when he was no longer his own person, when he was no longer Bucky, just, the Winter Soldier. He was not allowed to own anything, not even his own body, nonetheless a soulmate. </p><p>Natasha received the soul implant when she was indoctrinated into the Black Widow Program and, with it, was given her first mission to prove her loyalty: kill her soulmate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Four Different People with One Similar Problem

**Author's Note:**

> So when I was writing my [Steve/Bucky Soulmate AU](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4131096/chapters/9314073), I came up with the idea for this one and it's finally coming out! (In other words when describing this world I sometimes cheated and took descriptors out of that fic XD)  
> But this fic is totally different, and as I said on my tumblr, it will be half Steve/Tony and half Bucky/Nat. For this chapter, Nat only has a small part but she will dominate the next one! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

 “Yous belong together. _Pikers_!”

Steve pushed his tiny form out of the trash with a groan. The trash bag had split and he was covered in day old spaghetti. He gagged as he picked the slimy pasta out of his hair.

Ma was going to give him an earful over the new stains on his shirt.

His entire body hurt from the fumbling he took and his head spun like a merry-go-round. If his head didn’t right itself soon he was going to be sick and the smell of the rotting food wasn’t helping.  

“You’re one tough punk,” the boy beside him in the trash moaned.

Steve glared at the boy and retorted, “And you’re a good-for-nothing jerk! I coulda handled those knuckleheads by myself!”

The jerk sat up and glared back at Steve. The other boy hissed, “They were kickin’ yo’ ass!”

“But I was gettin’ some good hits in!”

“And so was I!”

The adolescents both crossed their arms across their chests and glowered at each other.

Finally, Steve rolled his eyes and held out his hand to the jerk that had helped him. He reluctantly said, “Thank you. I didn’t need your help but the extra punches you doled out were helpful.”

The other boy grinned cheekily and replied, “You’re welcome.”

They shook hands and exchanged slime from their respective trash. Both of them grimaced and flicked off the slime.

They helped each other up and the jerk picked a tomato out of his dark hair as he asked, “What were they wailing on you about anyways?”

Steve frowned upon the question.

He was just liking this jerk…but now the other boy was going to treat him differently. Touching the soul implant in his arm, Steve replied truthfully, “They went after me cause I told them I didn’t do no crying because I’m not gonna meet my soulmate…and they decided they were gonna make me cry.”

He was given a soul implant when he was old enough as it was Steve’s right as an American citizen “to pursue happiness”. The law was enacted not long after soul implants came about. He had never questioned how the implants were made or where they came from. The secrets behind the technology itself was highly guarded. The company that produced the implants was one of the strongest in the world and were tightlipped about it. The soul implants came about around the same time as the Industrial Revolution (many attributed the start of the revolution to the fact that the implants were being manufactured on such a high scale).

Many religious organizations claimed it to be a gift from their god or gods and the S.I. Organization did not confirm or deny their statements (a century later it will come to light that certain Norse Gods had a hand in creating the soul implant but that’s another story…).

Since the invention of the soul implant, many accounted it with the ancient Greek belief, that everyone was born with only a partial soul and that your soul could only be whole with your mate’s other half. The soul implants were made to find your other half.

And Steve was one of the rare few who did not have another half.

His implant had only a row of 15 zeros instead of a countdown.

None of the kids in the neighborhood had ever seen Steve shed a tear about his implant…that didn’t mean he never had. When he was old enough to understand what the lack of numbers in his implant meant and what a soulmate was…he cried. He cried so badly he had an asthma attack and was bedridden for days. He had drawn the short straw in life and he let himself wallow in the unfairness for a short time.

But life was short and Steve was not going to waste it pining after something he could never have. He figured God had other plans for him and he was fine with it.

“You zeroed out?” The jerk asked, grasping the spot on his arm where his soul implant must have been under the sleeves of his long shirt.  

It was rare to be born with because it meant one did not have a soulmate. Usually, most got zeroed out soul implants when their soulmates died. His Ma was one of those few people.

Many elected not to live on with zeroed out implants but if they did they usually were not stable because of the trauma from losing their mate. Because of the negative outlook, zeroed out soul implants were stigmatized. His Ma always made sure to cover her implant before she went out or she’d risk being looked at differently. She wasn’t crazy but a tough cookie.

Steve shrugged and said, “What about it?”

“I…I just never met another kid like me,” the boy replied and held out his arm with his sleeve drawn up to Steve, displaying the zeroed implant on his own arm.

Steve’s jaw dropped as his eyes confirmed the jerk’s words.

How was that possible?

Steve had never met anyone his age with zeroed out implants.

This jerk… _this_ _boy_ …was like him.

“M’ name’s Steve Rogers, you?”

“Bucky Barnes.”

Steve punched Bucky’s shoulder and said, “Nice ta meet’ cha, jerk.”

Bucky grinned and rubbed his arm, where Steve had hit him, as he replied, “You too, punk.” 

\---

Bucky didn’t try to stop looking for someone to love though he admittedly looked for it in all the wrong places. As he grew older, he noticed there were dames looking for a good time and Bucky provided it and did his best to ignore the countdowns they had on their timers. He wanted someone to love and to love him in return. Even if there was the smallest chance he could find someone to be with, despite what his implant said, Bucky would keep trying to find love.

Steve would tease him sometimes for being a ladies’ man but he never told him to stop. He understood the loneliness Bucky felt. Bucky tried to get him to join him sometimes but Steve always denied the request.

He never thought much about why Steve didn’t want to go. He’d assumed it was because he was still waiting for his implant to reset…until Steve revealed the truth behind it one Sunday afternoon.

They were sitting on the railing to the Brooklyn Bridge, eating their meager lunches, while cars and commuters passed by. The ocean breeze was hitting them at just the right angle so they wouldn’t have to smell the stink of the city or the cars’ exhaust.

Bucky gave Steve a strange look as replayed what Steve said to him. It was so incredulous that Bucky found himself grasping for words. How could he have not noticed this about his friend? How could he have been so blind?

Bucky had been trying to get Steve to go on a double date with him. The lady he was with, had a friend who was looking for a guy for them to double date with. Steve usually said no but Bucky pushed. His other girl lost her soulmate. She was zeroed like them. Steve could really start something with her.

Bucky kept pushing him until Steve broke and exclaimed he didn’t like dames.

Steve had hurriedly explained in a long winded summary that he didn’t just come up with this idea. It had taken years for the notion to take root in his mind and bloom into an awareness that he could perceive. Steve had realized none of the dames Bucky was always gawking at, interested Steve. With this revelation, Steve began to look at the young men around him…and liked what he saw...

Bucky looked around them nervously as Steve explained. With his heart beating anxiously for his friend, Bucky needed Steve to confirm what he was indirectly telling him and asked in a hushed tone, “You a fruit, Stevie?”

Steve flushed and stubbornly argued, “Maybe, and I’ve heard hate for fruits but I’ve heard more hate towards anyone who wasn’t white or Christian and we’ve both got neighbors who are such and they’re happy!” Steve stared morosely at the sandwich in his hands and mumbled, “I understand if you don’t like it but…I just want to find someone too…even…”

Bucky knew Steve was street smart but Steve also was willing to overlook certain things to see the good in people. Steve knew what it meant to be a fruit. He knew people thought it was wrong. But he was acting like it was something he could live with! Bucky studied him for a moment and realized Steve _didn’t_ _know_.

Bucky leaned in close and said, “Listen, I had neighbors who were fruits. They were nice guys, soulmates even, but they were arrested _because_ they were fruits. Law protects those who ain’t white or Christian but law says men going with men ain’t right, even with a soul implant saying otherwise.”

“Why would they take your neighbors away like that?! They’re soulmates! The implants chose them for each other!” Steve asked in horror.

“They say it’s unnatural,” Bucky replied, his heart going out to his friend. “That the implants are supposed to find your perfect ‘biological’ match. So when fruits are paired together people say it’s because they’ve got bad genes.”

Steve looked down at his implant with a stark expression.  

 “Could that be why I didn’t have a match? Cause…Cause I got bad genes and like boys?” Steve asked in a small voice.

Bucky frowned and grabbed Steve’s arm and admonished, “Hey! Don’t forget about my ticker! I got Grade A genes and a healthy appetite for the female body! Yet, I’m still never going to meet my perfect girl…” Bucky looked down, his face softening into a sadder expression to match his internal feelings, and whispered, “We were just dealt an unlucky hand in an unfair world, Stevie…There’s nothing wrong with me or you…Other than the fact that you can be irritating thorn in my side at times.”

Steve chuckled and retorted, “You’re the one who just can’t keep up.”

“Jeez, Stevie! A guy can only handle so much bravado! You take on too much!” Bucky sighed and continued, “But seriously, I love you, punk…” Bucky leaned into his side and ran the tip of his fingers over Steve’s implant. The unfairness of it all filled him with grief.

Out of the two of them, Steve should have been able to find someone. His heart was so big and filled with so much care and love that anyone who’d take him would have been the happiest person in the world. He had always imagined Steve meeting a girl with a zeroed out implant and both of them falling in love and starting a family and getting a dog…just living the American dream, despite the odds stacked against them. If anyone could do it, it was Steve. Now he replaced that imagined woman with a man and gone were the kids, gone was the picket fence, and all he saw for Steve was more grief than he deserved.

If Steve was truly attracted to men and if his soul implant reset and he met this man…his life would continue to be hard. Bucky didn’t want to think on that possibility either.

Bucky tried to lighten the mood and murmured, “Maybe one day our implants will reset and our soulmates will show up the next day, hm?”

Steve leaned into Bucky’s side, staring sadly at his implant, and sighed, “Then we could settle down in the same townhouse and be neighbors. Our kids could grow up together.”

A lump formed in Bucky’s throat.

“…You can’t have kids with a man, Steve,” Bucky whispered to his friend.

Steve ducked his head and affirmed, “Our kids are going to be best friends like us.”

Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulders and his tiny friend curled into his side. He had never displayed such vulnerability to Bucky before and he kept his lips sealed tight about it.

Without looking up at him, Steve whispered, “Forget everything I told you, Buck. It’s probably just a phase. I’m probably just desperate for somebody, anybody…Forget about it.”

“Alright, Stevie,” Bucky agreed but he never invited his friend on one of his dates again and neither commented on it.

\---

From that day forward, whenever Steve saw a shooting star or blew out his candles on his birthday cake, he wished as hard as he could that his and Bucky’s implants would reset and their countdowns would begin.

He imagined their happy families and joy and laughter…

Years passed and Steve’s wishes and imaginings dwindled.

He looked to helping people to fill the emptiness in his heart instead and Bucky was always two steps behind him.

He and Bucky had started off with bullies in alleyways but, with the war, Steve knew he was destined to fight. Anyone with a zeroed out implant were encouraged to fight…but Steve kept getting denied for his ailments.

He didn’t think he would be able to fight with Bucky until he met Dr. Erskine and his entire life changed.

Maybe he was not meant to have a soulmate because he was meant to be Captain America instead.

…Or maybe it was because he would die young.

When the plane plummeted from the sky, Steve placed his hand over his zeroed out implant and he wondered if he had a soulmate waiting for him in heaven standing beside Bucky and his mate. They would be happy and smiling and he would finally be complete.

\---

Soul implants were sometimes compared to radios. You need two compatible units in order for them to work. Until the implant is able to make a connection with a compatible unit, it would remain zeroed as it searched.

That is why, twenty years later, frozen in the ice in a comatose state, Steve’s implant beeped and began its countdown as it finally found a connection with a newly inserted implant on one Antony Edward Stark.

\---

Bucky experienced the activation of his soul implant very differently than Steve.

It was decades later and, at this point in his life, he was no longer Bucky. His identity had been destroyed years prior and he had no memory of his former life. All he knew was that he had to complete the missions his master gave him and that was all that mattered.

His original implant had been destroyed when he lost his left arm but his master had graciously given him one for his right arm. In the Soldier’s mind, it was not something that belonged to him but another tool given to him by his master. It was all to help him in his undercover missions. Those who didn’t have soul implants stood out as being different.

He knew what the implant symbolized but thought nothing of it.

Until 1984, when it suddenly beeped loudly in the middle of the night.

The Soldier had been sleeping in a bunker at a base in Cuba. He instantly sat up and drew his gun. The safety was off in an instant and his finger was on the trigger, but no one was there.

The Soldier slithered over to the light switch and turned on the overhead light. The shadows were chased away from the illumination but nothing in the small room was seemingly amiss.

The Soldier placed his firearm back onto the side table but he circled the room and tried to pinpoint what had woken him. He found nothing and decided to check outside. He picked up his gun and holstered it. He crossed the room and put his right hand on the doorknob but froze upon seeing his soul implant.

00016:10:12:06:05:14

It would be 16 years, 10 months, 12 days, 6 hours, 5 minutes, and 14 seconds until he met his soulmate.

The Soldier’s hand tremored on the doorknob.

He’d never operated without his master’s word and he’d never owned anything, not even his own body… _but now he had a soulmate_. The notion was so spectacular that the Soldier had to step back and sit down on his cot. His limbs were trembling so hard that he could barely sit up nonetheless stand.

The Soldier was tempted to destroy the implant. If it was gone then the problem would go with it. He wouldn’t have a soulmate, a possession which his master did not gift him, and…and he wouldn’t be feeing these things…

Because the Soldier found he wanted to meet this person.

He wanted to form a bond.

He wanted to feel.

He wanted to love.

And these were all things disallowed him.

He was not even allowed a name. His master would never allow him a soulmate too.

The Soldier tried to hide it but a week later, he was found out.

His deception had created a strange rebelliousness in him. Notions about right and wrong began to haunt him and memories of another life showed him how far he had fallen.

When his dishonesty was discovered, his master threw him to the ground and kicked him until he could no longer breathe. The Soldier lay there and let the master hit him. He deserved it, he had gone against is master’s command. In time, his master grew tired from attacking him and ordered a memory wipe.

The Soldier went compliantly, cradling the arm that held his soul implant.

After the wipe, the Soldier woke to find his implant ticking away.

“Ignore it solider,” his master commanded. “We gave you a fake implant to better disguise you. A zeroed out implant stands out too much.”

The Soldier nodded and ignored the implant like his master commanded. It became another item at his disposal and nothing more.

The implant, however, was very real and continued its countdown.

\---

Natasha received her implant in a ceremony, welcoming her into the Black Widow Training program for female sleeper agents.

She was originally brought in as an orphan with no financial support and, as such, she would have never been able to afford buying an implant of her own. In the Soviet Union, soul implants were rare and only the upper class and wealthy could buy them, the rest of the population had no way of knowing who their mates were.

She was just a child but had been in the Red Room Academy long enough to know not to hope for something as fantastical as true love or a soulmate. Her life was dedicated to the Academy. There was no time for anything else. When her timer displayed a countdown of over sixteen years, she had no reaction.

Had she had those hopes they would have been dashed anyways because her teacher stated, “You will not graduate from the program until the time on this runs out. At the end, you will be expected to kill your soulmate to show your commitment to the cause. Is that understood?”

“Yes, sir,” Natasha replied and saluted her teacher.

She felt no sympathy for her soulmate. Whoever he was, he was already dead to her.

\---

When Tony had his soul implant installed, it revealed he would meet his soulmate later in life. It was uncommon but not unheard of and he would be 40 by the time he met his soulmate.

“Half his life alone!” He grew up with his parents lamenting. “Half his life wasted!”

When he was orphaned in his late teens, Tony threw himself into his work. It was through this work he created DUM-E, the beginnings of Jarvis, and most importantly, the code that would become the cornerstone of SI Online.

Tony was stubborn and, when he wanted something, he poured all of his soul into achieving it. He wanted his soulmate and he did not want to wait until he was 40 to meet this person.

So he created an algorithm to find people’s soulmates based off the time left on their timers. Never before had anyone made a program that could connect to everyone worldwide and it was only with recent computer technologies was he able to create it. Tony made it public in the 80s, not long after the birth of the personal computer, but it didn’t make an impact until the 90s when the computers were made more consumer friendly and internet was finally making an impact on the everyday person’s life.

With his program, people merely had to input their times into SI Online and they’d be matched with several people with the same time. The comprehensive questionnaire they’d have filled out, when signing in, would be used to determine their best match of the listed individuals.  They then use the site to plan a meetup and meet to see if they’ll find their soulmate. Their timers would usually reset before the meeting but many went either way just to make sure. If not, they check back in with SI Online for the next match.

SI Online was an instant success. Soulmates were meting years before their original times and Tony was praised for his program. He turned from a rich nobody who’d inherited his father’s company to one of the most celebrated people on the planet. He was made Time Magazine’s Man of the Year and was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, but none of that mattered to Tony…

Because Tony’s countdown time never changed.

Sure, he’d have matches but whenever he met up with them, their timers remained unchanging.

Tony eventually determined his soulmate was not using his program.

Tony grew bitter. He’d spent ten years of his life working to find his mate and he still had to wait another ten years to find this _technophobe_?! How could he mated to a person who didn’t use technology??

He vilified is soulmate and quickly began to irrationally hate this person.

Ultimately, he began to have affairs and one-night stands. He ignored the yearning in his heart that wanted him find someone to fill in the empty space there… He pushed the feeling away until it was completely smothered and he started to tell himself, “I don’t need a soulmate.”

Tony threw himself into expanding his father’s business of making weapons as an additional distractor. This, combined with his affairs and other vices, made the public’s view of him change. He was no longer seen as the amazing man who brought soulmates together. He was gaining a reputation of being a playboy, a drunk, and a war monger and Tony did not care.

He gave into his vices, he created new weapons, and went wherever Obie pointed to get him more money.

He didn’t let himself think about his mate or that every day brought him closer to meeting him or her (Yes, at this point in his life he experimented and determined he could easily go both ways). Whenever his mind strayed to this kind of thinking, he’d go to his lab to distract himself from these heavy thoughts or imagined punching the person in the jaw.

For years, he never felt anything but anger or annoyance whenever he thought about his mate…until the day he was kidnapped.

When the pain from the shrapnel burned into his chest, Tony instantly looked to his implant. He had a little over three years left until he would’ve been able to meet his mate. As he watched a few seconds pass, all Tony wanted to do was survive, survive and meet this person who was fated to be his other half.

And live Tony did. He survived surgery without anesthetic, he survived torture, he survived starvation, he survived losing a friend, and then survived the harsh desert.

He not only gained Iron Man but also gained a new outlook on life. He couldn’t say he stopped hating his soulmate. The person had a lot to answer for, for never using his program. But he started to wonder again and hopefully imagine a happiness they could share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our couples will be meeting next time and it's not going to be pretty for both...
> 
> Next Time, Ch. 2: The Scheduled Event comes as a Surprise
> 
> This last month I moved to a new place so I still am in the process of moving and settling in so this fic will come out in random spurts but I will try to get a new chapter out every week or two! I'll be posting the updates and teasers on my [tumblr](http://il0vsuperman.tumblr.com) too!


	2. The Scheduled Event comes as a Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First half is Bucky/Nat and second half is Steve/Tony. Enjoy!

Soul implants have two indicators to let people know they had found their soulmate.

Primarily, its timer counts down to the moment soulmates first make eye contact. If their eyes don’t meet, then the timer will not stop or go off. Soulmates can unknowingly be in communication for years before their eyes meet. Some of the top romantic comedies use this prompt in their movies. 

The second and final indicator is more for the mates to confirm that they are indeed mates. They merely need to touch and the implant will beep in confirmation what the mates will most likely already know, they have found their soulmates.

\---

Natasha was sitting on a bench overlooking a small park a block away from the ballet studio. She’d been in her new cover for a good two months and was patiently waiting for two things to happen.

Firstly, for her new instructor to find her. He was a senior agent who had no idea of her identity and he was supposed to locate her as a part of her training. Her task was to stay hidden as long as possible. Once he found her, and she had no doubt he would, he would begin training her in long-distance surveillance, sniping, and tactical maneuvering.

Secondly, and most importantly, her timer was about to run out. Ever since she was given the timer, she’d been training for the moment it would reach its end. Once she killed her soulmate, she would be fully inducted into the Black Widow program and can go on real missions.

Originally, she only had to wait. Would her instructor find her first? Or her soulmate? With the months that passed, however, it seemed her soulmate was the unlucky winner.

Her feet were aching from ballet practice and the cold was making it worse but she ignored it. The part of the park she was in was secluded. No one would notice her eliminate her target.

She didn’t need to look at her timer to know how much time she had left. She could see her timer in her mind, ticking away. Only two minutes remained.

She expected her soulmate to be a civilian but she was prepared for someone who was as trained and experienced as she was. They were soulmates after all. It stood to reason that they would be similar in that deadly aspect as well.

Under her winter coat, were various weapons hidden but close at hand. She currently had one hand resting on her lap but the other in her pocket, holding a small pistol. She watched the park paths for activity. She surmised it was where her mate would most likely appear.

She foolishly did not pay much attention to empty tree line behind her.

A cold barrel was pressed against the back of her neck and she froze in response. Her hand, however, tightened on her pistol and she flicked the safety off.

“You would be dead right now,” the man behind her murmured.

“…Then I’m lucky you haven’t pulled the trigger,” Natasha replied evenly. Her outward countenance was indifferent but, internally, she was berating herself for such a rookie mistake and was trying to formulate a way to get out of this. The man behind her was a professional. He’d snuck behind her without alerting her to his presence until he wanted her to know. He was either a contract killer or…

The pressure from the gun disappeared and Natasha relaxed fractionally but did not move.

“Hello, student.”

Natasha privately smirked and wirily replied, “Hello, teacher.”

The good humor slipped away as quickly as an ice cube on a slick, vertical surface. Her instructor rounded the bench and she realized the time that remained on her timer would dwindle away in seconds so that meant…

How was this possible? What were the odds?

Her instructor was swathed in dark clothing with only his head exposed. He was a handsome man with loose brown hair. His steely blue eyes met hers and their timers went off.

He blinked in surprise at the notice and Natasha’s grip strangled the pistol.

She had to act fast. This man was her senior and more experienced. Surprise was her greatest asset at this moment.

In her pocket, she pointed the pistol at her soulmate and pulled the trigger.

He saw the movement and jumped back and her bullet only nicked his coat.

Natasha jumped behind the bench to put something between them and quickly shed her cumbersome coat, leaving her pistol in her pocket but revealing her weapon cache.

With narrowing eyes, her soulmate withdrew a knife from his sleeve.

Natasha drew out her own blades and took a defensive stance.

Her onetime teacher was a man of little words. He did not lament his soulmate trying to kill him. Nor did he demand reasoning to her actions. He too crouched into a stance and then propelled himself forward with the knife raised.

Natasha charged forward and ducked under her soulmate’s initial swing. She twisted up to gut him with the blade but he twisted with her and brought his blade down to stab her in the juncture between her neck and shoulder. Natasha slammed the heel of her hand underneath his jaw. It jarred him and, surprisingly, didn’t break his jaw.

Her instructor snarled and he slashed at her, catching her arm with his blade.

Natasha hissed and leapt back just as her soulmate swung in for the kill.

There was distance between them and they circled each other. Natasha’s arm was throbbing from the deep cut on her arm and hot blood dripped into the white snow beneath their feet. She did not tend to her wound because she knew, as soon as she did, the man opposite her would move in for the kill.

Her soulmate attacked first this time and threw his blade at her heart. Natasha flinched back to dodge and her mate used the distraction to leap in and knock her off her feet. They fell to the ground together, with him on top of her. He pulled another knife out of his belt and brought it down to stab her in the throat. Using all of her strength, she pulled enough to the side that her mate’s blade skewered the cold ground only inches from her flesh.

Natasha punched him square in the nose and blood splattered her face. Their implants beeped as their flesh violently touched for the first time (she was wearing fingerless gloves). They both ignored it.

In retaliation, her mate slammed his head into hers and the world swam before her. He wrapped his hands around her throat and choked her. For a moment, her heart seized with fear as the air constricted in her throat but her training kicked in and she calmed down.

Natasha kicked him hard between the legs and he loosened his grip immediately with a groan. The man lurched to his feet and stumbled back but Natasha sat up sharply and was able to stab him in the shin before he got too far away.

He glared at her venomously which was made worse by the blood dripping from his nose and leg.

Natasha smirked in response. Her throat may have been badly bruised but he only managed to draw blood once, from her arm so far, whereas he was bleeding from his nose and now his leg.

As if he heard her haughty thoughts, her soulmate reached behind him and whipped out a gun. The move was so fast Natasha could only attempt to dodge but her instructor was a marksman and he managed to shoot her either way.

The bullet pierced her side, above her left hipbone. Natasha tried to stay standing but swayed under her weaken legs and fell to her knees. Her instructor cautiously approached her with his gun caulked and ready to shoot again.

“…Why did you go against the directive?” The man grunted, pulling Natasha’s knife out of his leg. He dropped the blade on the ground behind him and kept his gun trained on her the entire time.

“Directive?” Natasha scoffed. Did he mean their training arrangement? Was he really unaffected by the fact his soulmate just tried to kill him?

Her mate separated the distance between them and pressed the barrel of his gun into her forehead. He stated, “I need to tell my master why I had to _terminate_ my mission. Why did you go against the directive?”

“I was only following orders. I am supposed to kill my soulmate. _You_ ,” Natasha hissed.

The man’s brows pinched together and he asked with some confusion, “Me?”

“Yes, you. Were you not paying attention to the implant? Did you not hear the beeps?” Natasha demanded.

“My implant isn’t real,” her soulmate hissed.

“Then why did ours go off at the same time?” Natasha countered. Why would he think it wasn’t real?

The steel she had originally seen in his cold eyes buckled. He stepped back from her, lowered his gun, and pulled back the arm of his coat on his right arm.

Natasha took the opportunity to clamber back to her coat and dig her pistol out. She spun around and pointed it at her mate, expecting him to be moments from shooting her in the seconds it took her to get her weapon, but he was peering down at the implant on his arm. She couldn’t see it but she knew his implant would look just like hers. It would be blank. No numbers would be marring the screen, attesting to them both finding their soulmate.

“It’s real,” he whispered breathlessly.

She should have shot him dead right there but curiosity got the better of her. She asked, “Why did you think it was fake?”

“My master he -,” the man stopped speaking and his gaze zeroed in on her. Natasha tightened her hold on her gun and shifted uneasily on her knees. He gasped, “You are my soulmate?” Natasha nodded and his eyes greedily took in her form. He whispered to himself, “I have a soulmate…”

His entire demeanor changed before her eyes. He lost the cold, cutoff façade and looked…scared and confused. He dropped his gun and walked toward her. She raised the gun threateningly but he kept walking toward her. His dark blue eyes were focused on her face and he paid no mind to her gun. She placed her finger on the trigger with her muscles tense, ready to quickly jerk the trigger back.

But she did not pull the trigger. She was intrigued by his reaction but tensed when he got within attacking distance. He stopped when the barrel of her pistol pressed into his chest.

“If you are my soulmate, why did you attack me?” He whispered as his eyes peered deeply into hers. His gaze was so intense with its scrutiny that she was highly tempted to break her eyes away but she held strong.

“To join the Black Widow Program, I must kill my soulmate,” she replied shortly and pressed the gun deeper into her soulmate’s chest. She ironically added, “Hence the ‘widow’ name of the program.”

The man’s eyes flickered down to the gun and then back to her. Cocking his head to the side, without looking away from her, he asked, “And if you could have both?”

Natasha could not hold back her twitch as her entire body jerked from her surprise. She questioned, “Both?”

“The Black Widow Program and me,” he whispered and his eyes seemed to bore deeper into hers.

She shifted the gun to center it over his heart. She had never considered such an option. Because, she informed him, “It is not possible. They’ll see my implant is blanked. They’ll know you’re still alive.”

Her mate started to take off his coat and she demanded, “What are you doing?”

He dropped the heavy winter coat and then removed the sweater that had been underneath. Beneath it, he wore a plain shirt, leather suspenders with two gun hostlers, and a belt with bullet caddies and knives.

She instantly stepped back and eyed the various weapons uneasily.

But her mate ignored the weapons in favor of drawing back the sleeve on his right arm, fully exposing his implant to her.

It was unusual to have an implant on the right arm, especially in the west but, in the Soviet Union, where some soul implants were obtained illegally, a good number were put on the wrong arm like it was on her mate.

He took off the glove on his left hand and she saw the real reason why he did not have the implant on his left arm. His left arm was not flesh but metal…robotic.

Without any warning, he plunged his metal fingers into the flesh of his right arm and ripped out his implant.

“Wha-!” Natasha couldn’t help but gasp, yet, she was too slow to make any move to stop him.

The implant was attached to the largest vein in his arm and the blood acted as a sort of bloody hydronic system to power the implant. He must have completely destroyed the vein and would bleed out in minutes.

Her implant beeped shrilly as her mate’s instantly lost power and died. Her implant would have a line of zeros burning into its screen but she did not look at it. On a normal day, this would have meant her soulmate’s heart had stopped and he had died. At that moment, however, her soulmate lived but wouldn’t be alive for much longer.

What was the point? Why would he do that to himself? Did he think some pointless “act of love” would have her swooning and lamenting his end?

Her eyes were riveted on the man before her.

She lowered her gun and gasped, “Why?”

He dropped his implant and whispered, “I never wanted something before now.”

“You’re going to die,” she hissed pointing to his bleeding arm. She froze as, before her eyes, the wound healed itself. The blood dripping down his arm slowed and then stopped all together. The hole in his arm shrunk and knitted itself together before her very eyes.

Her gaze shot back to her soulmate and the corner of his mouth was upturned slightly.

She’d heard rumors of a super soldier working in the shadows for the KGB. They called him the Winter Soldier and he never missed his mark. It seemed those rumors weren’t false and the man himself just happened to be her soulmate. But…her side throbbed from the bullet wound in her side. She pressed her hand over it to staunch the bleeding. He supposedly never missed his mark and she was the first to not receive a kill shot. Was it really because he wanted to question her on her motive? He could have just told his master she attacked him. What if he had inherently known she was his mate?

Alright, she was intrigued but was nowhere near swooning. Even if her heart was beating faster with an emotion she couldn't clearly define.

She gulped nervously...This could actually work. Her implant was zeroed. The Academy would think she had murdered her soulmate. She gulped dryly again as she imagined the deception. Was it worth it?

Her mate held his bloody right hand out to her and her grip tightened on her pistol.

One shot and he’d be dead. He probably wouldn’t even dodge it. Her heart was beating faster as he continued to stare at her with those dark blue eyes.

Just one shot.

She raised her gun and pointed it at his head.

He did not move like she predicted but his eyes remained on her and he paid no heed to the gun.

Her hand trembled.

“ _And if you could have both_?” Her mate’s voice whispered to her in her mind.

Natasha frowned and forced herself to take a long, calming breath. With her hand steadied, her resolve shifted.

Just one shot.

\---

Tony glanced down at his implant and smiled.

He only had a month until he’d finally meet his mate. Years ago, he resented the coming date but, now, he was ecstatic.

His kidnapping and Obadiah’s betrayal was long behind him and Tony was working toward the future. He was changing his company, making it more ecofriendly and creating products for the everyday consumer instead of weapons for war mongers.

He made Pepper CEO and devoted his time to working on his Iron Man armor and being Iron Man. With it, he was not only righting the wrongs his company’s weapons had brought about, but he was also brought people hope. He was considered a vigilante by the U.S. government and a lot of major news corporations but he was beginning to hear whispers of words like “superhero.” It made him giddy whenever he heard it and was reminded of the feeling he had as a child, bearing a fake shield and searching for Hydra in his mother’s prize rose garden.

SHIELD considered him for their initiative but deemed him unfit. In response, Tony hacked their network and decided to be as “reckless” as they categorized him with the information he gained. The eventual outcome was Tony going to India and befriending Dr. Bruce Banner and bringing him to New York.

“What are you smirking at?” The said man asked from across the room.

 Tony looked up from his implant to Bruce and his smile expanded. He held up his arm and explained, “I officially have one month left.”

Bruce shared one of his rare smiles and said, “I’m happy for you.”

Bruce looked back down into his microscope and missed the slight flush that stained Tony’s cheeks. He was happy for himself too.

With them speaking the same language of science, they were quick to friend each other and now Bruce was living in the Tower with Tony. He gave Bruce his own lab to continue his research. The man was busily working to find a cure for what he had done to himself. Everyone said Tony was crazy when he brought Bruce back to New York but Tony saw himself in the man. Tony hadn’t reached his goal with finding his soulmate through SI Online, but maybe he could help Bruce in finding his cure.

“How are things looking today?” He asked Bruce curiously.

Bruce sighed heavily and straightened back from the telescope. He groaned lightly as he stretched his back muscles and mumbled, “Not good. I have been trying to replicate what happened to me and try to find a cure from there, but everything fails…I’m not even sure what exactly happened to me…It wasn’t planned, not like Captain America. Captain Rogers had been monitored but what happened is classified so I can’t even use that to reference. Had what happened to me been monitored, I would have so much more data to work with. Right now I’m making guesses and all those guesses are off point…”

Tony felt his “unfit” tendencies tingling and he asked, “So, if you had data to work with, it’ll help?”

Bruce cocked an eyebrow at him and dryly replied, “That’s what I just said.”

Tony grinned and said, “What if I told you there’s a source with such monitored data?”

Bruce scrutinized him with squinted eyes and asked, “What are you talking about?”

“You said it yourself,” Tony stated. “Captain America.”

Ten minutes later, Tony and Bruce were in Tony’s workshop with several holograms open and Tony sitting in front of them with Bruce hovering behind him. Tony was typing madly and Bruce uneasily stated, “I don’t think this is such a good idea anymore.”

“It’ll get you data!” Tony sing-songed and he broke through another firewall.

“Yeah, but I didn’t realize it would involve breaking into the government’s strongest defense organization’s database!”

“The founders of SHIELD were a part of Captain America’s creation. They have to _have_ some specs on what had happened and, since they don’t want little super soldiers running around, they obviously keep it locked up tight! Don’t worry, I’ve done this before! How do you think I found you?”

“This is going to bring Fury back down on us,” he groaned. “We just got SHIELD to leave us alone.”

“They won’t bother us if we don’t get caught,” Tony lightly sang.

He typed in a few more lines and then hit enter. He paused and watched the screen expectantly before cheering, “Eureka! I’m in!”

Bruce leaned in curiously as Tony scrolled through all the files pertaining to Project Rebirth. Tony nodded to all the information and asked, “Shall I download it?”

Bruce was near salivating as he stared at the medical files pertaining to Steven G. Rogers pre- and after-serum. He gasped, “Y-Yes, please, do it!”

Tony typed in a few lines of code and hit enter. The files began to download on to his server. They watched the files load and the different sections were listed off with the simple titles SHIELD have given each files. They varied from “Rogers, Steven: Pre-Serum Medical” to “Vita Ray Levels.”

Tony’s interest was piqued when he saw they had scans of his father’s schematics. He was about to comment to Bruce on how they both were going to win with this when the downloading ended and the last file name caught his eye.

“Project Resurgence,” Tony read aloud. He and Bruce glanced at each other and then back to the screen. Tony commented, “That sounds interesting.”

“Do you think they revitalized the project at some point?” Bruce asked.

“Let’s check it out,” Tony replied with a grin and opened the file. He assumed it had been started again during the Cold War but the dates displayed were resent and then…

“ _Oh_. My. God,” Bruce gasped. “It that-?”

“A Capsicle?” Tony’s eyes were boring into the iced image of his childhood hero and he replied, “ _Yup_ , I think we need visit SHIELD HQ.”

\---

Tony and Bruce went to the “secret” lab and they met up with Coulson in front of the building. Tony had called him in route and told him why they were coming. Unsurprisingly, he did not look too happy.

“Will you be our escort?” Tony asked cheekily.

“You both are here in a consultant capacity only,” Coulson stated. “Dr. Banner you are allowed to make notes and do _approved_ tests but _nothing_ is to leave the premises.” He turned to Tony and said, “Stark, you are not to leave my side and you are not allowed to touch _anything_.”

Tony grinned as he imagined all the things he could do to mess with Coulson. Coulson took the smile as acceptance and nodded them inside.

Deep into the building, behind many layers of personal and security, they came upon the defrosting chamber of Captain Steven G. Rogers.

The defrosting was slow. His entire body had to warm up simultaneously otherwise he’d lose his limbs or they’d damage his brain. The Captain floated upright in a hyperbaric cylinder filled with a light blue liquid. Rogers was totally submerged with a breathing mask and several electrical leads attached to his chest and forehead to monitor his life support. A handful of scientists were monitoring him or working elsewhere in the lab.

His heart beat was slow but it was _freaking_ _there_!! He was alive! The _actual, genuine_ Captain America! Tony could hardly believe it.

Rogers was also completely naked and Tony whistled as he took in the fine specimen. He turned to Bruce and said, “I likey.”

Bruce rolled his eyes and Coulson bristled, “ _Decorum_ , Stark.”

Grinning cheekily, Tony turned back to the Captain and put his hands on his hips with a heavy sigh. “If I wasn’t meeting my soulmate in a month, I’d be all over that.”

Coulson led Bruce over to the current readings and Tony circled the cylinder. Tony was taking in the image of the Captain, memorizing him for later that night when he was all alone with his favorite brand of moisturizer and a box of tissues.

“He's only at 45 degrees? When do you think you’ll be able to warm him up more and wake him?” Bruce questioned as he stared at the reading.

“At most, a few months,” Coulson replied. “We’ll know better when he’s in the higher temperatures.”

Bruce was smiling widely and looked as excited as a kid in a candy store. He was looking over older readings and then asked Coulson, “Where are the samples you took before you began the treatment?”

“Agent Ridges can show you,” Coulson said, nodding to one of the scientists. Bruce hurriedly went over to the man’s side and they were instantly drawn into a discussion about the super solider serum. Because of his interest, Bruce wasn’t timid or overly cautious with the stranger like he usually was and it made Tony’s chest tighten with happiness and pride. Bruce was usually so afraid of himself that he rarely opened up to others so easily.

Tony looked back up to the Captain and peered at the relaxed face. When he wakes, the world was going to change with the reemergence of the super soldier.

At the time, Tony didn’t realize how much _his_ world would change too…

Bruce spent more time with SHIELD than the Tower in the coming weeks. He quickly became a valuable resource to SHIELD with his knowledge on the subject. Tony popped in from time to time to check in on his friend and check out the glorious form of the super soldier.

A week before his timer ran out, SHIELD called him in.

“Cap woke up sooner than we thought he would,” Coulson stated. “He thought he was captured and escaped.”

Tony was so shocked that he could not think for the span of a few seconds before he finally garbled, “E-Escaped? _And butt-naked_??”

“He stole one of the scientists’ lab coasts,” Coulson sighed in explanation. “He’s somewhere in the city. Can you help us in the search?”

“I’d be insulted if you didn’t ask!” Tony replied. “I’m suiting up! Bet you 100 bucks I find him first!”

He cut the connection before Coulson could reply and jumped on the access pad. As he walked across it, the suit was assembled around him and he was in the air in less than a minute. His heart was racing as he imagined finally meeting the man who had once been his childhood hero.

\---

Steve had woken to what felt like the worst hangover in years and being trapped in a glass cage. He broke out of the cage and ran. Running cleared his head and he quickly evaded the people who ran after him.

He thought he was in a foreign city until he saw the familiar spire of Empire State Building in the distance. Steve climbed to the top of a building and spun around, taking in the familiar and unusual skyscrapers. Under his breath, and with his pulse picking up, and his mind grasping for answers, he gasped, “Wh-What?”

“Oh Captain, my Captain!”

Steve spun around to another magnificent sight: a flying, robotic man.

That was it. He was either somehow whisked into a scifi novel or he was still dreaming.

 “Wow,” the robot man whistled. “It’s the Star Spangled Man himself…though less star and spangled at the moment. I’m Iron Man and, no, I am not made of iron.”

Steve stared up at the wisecrack marvel with a slackened jaw. He was beginning to question his sanity. It was cold in the twilight of the day and the roof was warm and rough beneath his feet, _could he still be asleep_?

Iron Man landed in front of him and stated, “Things probably are really weird right now but, long story short, you’ve been on the most extensive power nap in known history and it’s 2003.”

“What’s 2,003?” Steve asked, not understanding. What are there 2,003 of? Why was that significant?

The robot chuckled and Steve flushed, feeling like he said something stupid. Iron Man affirmed, “It is _the year_ 2003\. You’ve been asleep for a few decades.”

The strangely dressed people and the additional skyscrapers suddenly made so much more sense. And the quip Iron Man made about his long nap…He was in a new millennium.

Steve felt like he was going to be sick. _How was this possible_?

“Hey, I know it’s a lot to take in but, hey! World War II is over and there’s no more polio and we’ve got some decent TV! No more of that Howdy Doody crap! And, not to brag or anything, but I’m –.” Iron Man touched his shoulder and Steve broke away from it.

“This isn’t some joke,” Steve gasped, his emotions mounting. “ _This is my life_!”

Everything – everyone – he knew…what had happened to them?

And what was going to happen to him? He’d woken up in a test tube. Was this robot going to bring him back?

“Why am I here?” Steve gasped.

Iron Man shrugged and replied, “When SHIELD found you, they realized you weren’t dead and brought you back. For what ends, I don’t know.”

“And what is SHIELD?” Steve demanded, trying to stay calm but he was nervously clutching his fists.

Before Iron Man could answer, a large flying craft suddenly fell from the sky and hovered over the roof. A hatch opened and a sharp suited man stepped out. The man’s eyes instantly focused on Steve and he answered the question Steve had just asked, “Hello, Captain Rogers, and, to answer your question, SHIELD is the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division for the United States’ Government.”

“I got this, Coulson,” Iron Man snipped.

“And now we have it, Stark,” Coulson replied.

Steve spun toward to Iron Man and gasped, “Stark? W-were you made by Howard Stark?”

“Unfortunately my human interior was,” was the brisk reply, Steve could hear the clipped amusement in his gravely robotic voice. Steve flushed. He hadn't realized there was a human in that thing, nonetheless Howard’s relation. Stark continued, “The exoskeleton was made by me, his son. Tony Stark.”

“…There’s a person in there?”

“You think I could program this wit?” Iron Man laughed.

Another robotic voice, from the same speakers, dryly stated, “You’ve done it once already, Sir.”

“Shut up, Jarvis.”

“Cap.” Steve turned back to Coulson and the man explained, “SHIELD was created after your plane went down. Your friends Peggy Carter and Howard Stark were some of its founding members. Our purpose is, and has always been, to protect the country from outside threats.”

“And stick your noses in everyone’s business,” Iron Man scoffed.

“Stark, thank you for your help, but we have it from here,” Coulson dismissed Iron Man.

“You owe me a hundred dollars. Add it to my nonexistent paycheck,” Stark mocked, saluted them, and then blasted off.

Steve watched him go with a pinched brow. He was fascinated by his ability to fly but was also perturbed by his interaction with him. The man had an easygoing attitude that was borderline mad with a dash of haughtiness. Steve wasn’t so sure how he felt about Howard’s son.

Either way, he awkwardly raised his hand to wave goodbye to him. And as he wondered whether it was in good manners to wave to someone flying away or not, the arm of the lab coat he had borrow dropped and exposed his lower arm. In the panic to escape, Steve hadn’t thought to look at his soul implant.

Now his eyes riveted to _the_ countdown.

He had a countdown.

Steve clutched his arm closer to him and peered at the numbers. It wasn’t a figment of his imagination. _He had a countdown_.

“Captain? Is there something wrong?” Coulson asked, stepping closer to him.

“I’m going to meet my soulmate in a week,” Steve gasped in shock. He turned to the older man, unashamed by the tears gathering in his eyes and he brokenly asked, “I-Is this real?”

Coulson smiled and replied, “Very much so, Cap. Congratulations.”

To Steve, just yesterday, his future looked bleak. His best friend had just died and his implant was zeroed out. He thought he was going to be alone. But since he woke not only had the War ended but he now had a soulmate.

He wasn’t damaged. His genes weren’t bad. He could find someone to love and start a family.

God had a plan for him and in a week’s time, he’d meet the person he would spend the rest of his life with…

\---

The week went by quickly as Steve was immersed in studies on how to adapt to the new century. Unsurprisingly, his studies focused on America’s military history and the new technological advancements.

He didn’t see Tony again though Steve did read his file and he saw how much Tony looked like his father, despite the arrogant smile coupled with warm brown eyes.

Steve felt uncomfortable looking at those warm eyes. He put away the file and reminded himself he was going to meet his mate soon and the thought that Tony's eyes looked nice was _extremely_ inappropriate. He shouldn’t be thinking like that anymore.

He was almost immediately introduced to the Avenger Initiative and through it met Natasha, Clint, and Bruce. Tony was only a consultant as Fury found him to be too violate, self-obsessed, and containing no good teamwork or people skills. Though the others told him he was practically an Avenger and it’d be a matter of time before Fury and Tony accepted it.

He didn't interact much with the man but had heard varying stories about him from the rest of the team. He didn't know how to pin him. What kind of man was he?

Steve didn’t realize how true Fury’s words about Tony were until the day his timer was going to go off. It was the same day the Avengers were called to action and Tony assisted.

Steve had originally planned to wear his best clothes and walk around Central Park until he ran into his soulmate. Instead, he was downtown in his new Captain America uniform, fighting a horde of aliens. Civilians were running away and, as Steve fought, in the back of his mind he worried if he’d be able to meet his soulmate in the late afternoon.

Tony was obnoxiously playing a song over the communicator that kept repeating “Another one bites the dust” and was mostly fighting on his own. He didn’t follow Steve’s directions or commands and, as such, got in the way. By the end of the battle, they were both sniping at each other over the coms.

Tony took down one of the flying alien fighters but he almost took out Clint in the process as the wreck fell on his position. Tony would have known Clint was there if he had been _listening_.

After all the aliens were killed or captured, Steve stormed up to Tony, with gritted teeth and filled with indignant anger.

“If you are going to fight with us then you need to learn to work with us! You almost killed Clint!” Steve yelled.

Tony spun around to face him and Steve’s reflection on the armor’s faceplate glared back at him. Tony replied with Iron Man’s grated voice, “I obviously didn’t mean to. Clint is fine, and if I hadn’t taken out that thing then it would have gone after you!”

“Natasha had my back. That’s what teammates do. We look out for one another!” Steve argued.

“Battles are chaos! We all can’t follow your formulated plan. Our opponents won’t do it, so why should we!”

“That’s _why_ we have to work together instead of against each other!” Steve tore off his helmet and vehemently countered, “If we don’t work together, then that chaos will overwhelm us. Together we are stronger.”

“I am not a part of your boy band, Captain,” Tony replied and turned away from him. “I’m just a consultant, remember?”

“You could be an Avenger if you only work with us!” Steve argued and grasped Tony’s shoulder, forcing him to look back at him.

“Captain Rogers, _I do not have time to argue with you_!” Tony hissed, his voice bordering on frantic. “I need to go! Pencil me in next week!”

Tony wrenched his arm out of Steve’s hold and rose into the air.

“Mr. Stark, you need to stay here! We have to discuss this. Your level of incompetence nearly cost us a teammate!” Steve yelled, angered by Tony’s uncaring reaction to almost killing Clint and trying to leave the scene like it was nothing.

Tony turned sharply in midair and hissed, “Believe it or not, the world is no longer so black and white as it used to be. We no longer just follow the lead of our leaders just because they say ‘go.’ _You’re a relic_ , Captain Rogers. I suggest you broaden your horizons a bit before you start calling me incompetent. And Natasha was too far from you to help. I took a risk and it worked. You’re welcome.”

Tony blasted away before Steve could retort.

Steve watched him go with gritted teeth and it took all of his willpower not to slam his helmet on the ground or crush it in his hands. The man was infuriating! He seemed to know how to just get under his skin and make him feel like a belittled child.

Steve sighed heavily, trying to clear his head but he didn’t calm down until he touched his arm, he could just barely feel his soul implant beneath his uniform. Steve drew back the thick sleeve and peered at his timer.

00000:00.00:00:15:01

Steve felt his heart leap into his throat as the timer changed to under fifteen minutes right before his eyes. _So little time_!

Steve ran over to Coulson and gasped, “My timer is about to run out! Do you have everything handled here?”

Coulson’s eyes widened slightly and he replied, “Yes! Yes, go! Go, Cap!”

Steve nodded his thanks and ran to the team’s personal quinjet. Over the coms, Steve asked, “Clint, can you give me a ride?”

Clint poked his head out of the quinjet just as Steve reached it and he asked, “What’s up, Cap?”

“My timer’s about to go out and I need a ride away from here!”

Clint grinned ecstatically and ran back inside, yelling, “Hop in! Where we going?”

“Central Park?” Steve asked as he stepped in.

“Central Park!” Clint affirmed and jumped in the pilot’s seat.

Steve threw his shield onto one of the seats and went to his locker as Clint took off.

They didn’t have a shower on board so Steve used one of his fresh shirts to rub off as much sweat and grime from the battle as he could from his face and torso. He then quickly changed into his spare white shirt and jeans. He still felt stinky after putting on the clean clothes but there was nothing more he could do with his time limit.

It wasn’t how he imagined meeting his soulmate but it’d have to do…

Steve joined Clint in the front and anxiously watched as the city flew by.

He got to Central Park with a few minutes to spare. Steve leapt from the quinjet and Clint landed several meters away to draw attention away from Steve. He dusted himself after his landing and then made his way to the more populated areas of the park.

It had been an unwritten rule in New York that, if your timer was about to run out, you’d come to Central Park.

Steve found himself by a body of water, he wasn’t sure which lake it was but people were on the water in boats. He marveled at his surroundings. The park looked so much nicer and better maintained from when he last saw it in his era.

Since it was such a nice day, it was crowded, especially so by the water.

Steve meandered through the crowd and looked for anyone anxiously touching their soul implant like he was.

His heart began to race when it was less than a minute. This was it. This was the moment he and Bucky had dreamed about and it was finally becoming a reality. Steve was smiling, excited and scared but, mostly exhilarated that the impossible was actually going to come to pass.

He was already imagining picket fences, the happy smile of his soulmate and the laughter of their children.  

He was so busy looking at the people, he didn’t notice the soccer ball that had been kicked under foot and had conveniently rolled to a stop underneath him. Steve stepped on the ball and fell back. Like something out of a classical romance, he fell onto the bench right beside his mate, and when they looked at each other their timers went off with matching pairs of beeps.

Tony Stark stared at him with shock and Steve mirrored his expression.

Steve’s stomach dropped with the realization that he was mated to a man nonetheless one whom he had called incompetent not twenty minutes ago.

His imaginings of a happy family was dashed and Bucky’s voice echoed, almost mockingly, from the past, “ _You can’t have kids with a man, Steve_.”

Tony stared at him incredulously and then finally hissed, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe what a way to leave off for both couples, eh? XD
> 
> Next time, Ch.3: The Art of Handholding 
> 
> I'm predicting the next chapter is going to be a looonnngggg one as it'll take a while for these couples to trust one another! ^_^
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)


	3. The Art of Handholding

Despite what many must have thought, with all the rumors and the playboy stigmata he carried, Tony was a romantic at heart. It probably didn’t help that he’d jokingly tell people that he’d go to a strip club when his timer was about to go out. In the end, it was his damn heart that pushed him to decide he was going to be sitting on the very bench his parents had first met when he finally met _his_ soulmate.

He had raced there after the battle and begged two women to get off it, quickly explaining his need for it. They ecstatically relinquished the bench to him and hovered nearby to witness his first meeting with his soulmate. He ignored them in favor of wiping his sweaty palms on his trousers. Because of the battle, he felt completely unprepared for his mate.

In a million years, he would have never guessed it would be the Capsicle himself that sat next to him.

By the way the super soldier had collapsed heavily into the bench beside him after their timers went out, Tony guessed Steve hadn’t thought this was possible either.

They shared the bench for several long minutes in complete silence neither looking at the other.

Tony replayed all the moments he interacted with Steve and realized Steve was either unconscious or Tony was in his suit, with his face shield down when they were physically together. They never touched nor make physical eye contact, both indicators needed for the implants. Tony had looked into Steve’s eyes plenty of times through Iron Man’s eyes but never with his own.

And Cap was frozen until recently so it made complete sense why he never registered onto SI Online. He was still learning the basics on how to work computers. He probably hadn’t known SI Online even existed.

It was like they were in some kind of romantic comedy. Steve had also literally fallen into their match too. How many times had he seen that in the cheesy romances? And the fact that they interacted before realizing they were soulmates? How much more cliché can they be?

Oh yeah, like most romantic comedies, they start off hating each other. Only difference now, this wasn’t a movie. The fact that they were soulmates wasn’t going to solve the disagreements they had with each other. To top it off, when Cap realized they were mates, he looked like Tony had just stabbed a red, white, and blue puppy in front of him with a quadruple bladed swastika.

This… _sucked_.

Tony turned to Steve. The man was staring off into space with a blank expression, thinking God knows what. Tony asked, “Can we just make sure this really happened?”

Steve looked to him with pinched brows and Tony explained, “We haven’t touched yet.”

Comprehension dawned in Steve’s eyes and he wordlessly nodded. Tony held his hand out to Steve and Steve gently grasped it like they were about to shake hands. Their timers beeped again, confirming what they both already knew and dreaded: they were soulmates.

“Fuck,” Tony cursed again. He let go of Steve’s hand and leaned back on the bench, staring at his _fucking_ soulmate.

Of all the meetings he had imagined with his mate, he’d never imagined it would go like this.

Steve, meanwhile, was pale. All the blood had leeched out of his face and he was staring at the hand Tony just touched like it had betrayed him.

Tony’s mood soured even more when he saw that.

This sucked _so much_.

_Why him? Why him? Why’d it have to be him???_

He felt a flare of anger as he remembered Steve berating him not twenty minutes ago. Why did all the bad crap keep happening to him? He survived the Ten Rings…for this? He had made himself survive for a soulmate who’d  love him and he’d love in return. Of all the people on the planet, why did his mate have to be the prick who called him incompetent after saving his life??

Steve was still staring at his hand and he said,  “I…I just thought – my mate would be a woman…I thought…” Steve didn’t finish his sentence and Tony winced. Alright, this meeting just got ten-times more awkward and worse.

Tony was not qualified for this. How the hell was he supposed to be soulmates with this prick _and_ help him with his burgeoning homosexuality? 

Tony rubbed his head and groaned. This was officially his worst nightmare and it was happening in real life.

Steve stiffened beside him as he looked around them and gasped, “Those people saw…”

Tony glanced around and wasn’t surprised that a number of people, including the two women who had given him the bench, saw their timers go off and their odd interaction. Unsurprisingly, they were openly staring at them for their lack of excitement.

Tony looked away from the onlookers and crooked an eyebrow at Steve. He sarcastically stated, “I’m Tony Stark. Of course people noticed this. _Hell_ , they had websites with my countdown on it and I’m surprised the reporters aren’t here yet.”

He didn’t think it was possible but Steve paled even more and Tony got angrier. Nevertheless, deep beneath that anger, his heart squeezed in despair as his mate slipped further and further from him. It was rare for soulmates not to become romantically involved and it was even rarer if they did not get along at all. Was this what they were going to be? That rare statistic that hated each other?

This didn’t just suck…it was downright horrible.

By his reactions to the onlookers, Tony could tell Steve was worried. Did Steve not want people to know he was with a man…Or was it the fact that it was Tony that caused such reactions in him? Either way was not good.

Tony frowned at him and venomously asked him, “Why? Are you ashamed? _Disgusted_?”

“N-No…I mean… I just thought my soulmate would be a woman because I…I wanted a family, but…” Steve flushed and finally met Tony’s eyes. Tony expected to see disgust or anger in the man’s gaze.

He could see annoyance in Steve’s eyes, no surprise there. It seemed like it was an automatic reaction for both of them when their eyes met but…that wasn’t the strongest emotion.

Steve’s misery was so strong that it made Tony sad just looking at him. But as they stared at each other, something else grew in Steve’s gaze…hope?

His anger abated slightly. He was confused by the flicker of hope in the other man’s gaze and his own misery doubled with Steve’s. Could he be reading him wrong? His confusion was added to the mix and it made an odd blend of emotions that did not settle right within him.

Tony pressed Steve to continue, “But?”

Steve shook his head and whispered, “I’ve only told Bucky…” Tony ticked his brow and, with a dry tone, sarcastically said, “Well, I’m your soulmate. You can tell me anything.”

Steve actually chuckled and Tony sat up straighter. He’d never heard Cap laugh before. Steve smiled sadly at him and mumbled, “I was never…” He cleared his throat and whispered, “I… I’m…. I’ve always been attracted to men. Being with a man...this is something I’ve wanted _and_ feared. I’m not ashamed or disgusted. I…I’m sorry if you thought that. I’m just scared. This is all too much, even more so now that the public will know. _What are we going to do_?”

Tony studied Steve. He truly did appear worried. What did he think would happen? It wasn’t like it was…

 _Shit_. Steve was from the 40s. He still thought all of this was still considered “immoral” and they could be arrested.

Steve’s earlier words came back to him, hitting him like a freight train. The man probably feared it because of the persecution he might have faced but, he still _wanted_ it even if he couldn’t have children with a woman. Captain America was freaking gay. He didn’t know about the Gay Rights Movement, he didn’t know it was no longer illegal, hell, he didn’t know he could adopt kids either!

Tony looked at Steve in a whole new light. It had never once crossed his mind Steve could be attracted to the same sex. Tony had ogled him in the defrosting chamber but he hadn’t expected any form of reciprocation…Tony internally shook his head to clear it before it started leading him to more lusty thoughts. He could admit there is an attraction to Steve there but, the man himself was so uptight that he couldn’t get any tighter. He needed to loosen up a little before he got into bed with Tony.

In the meantime, however, Tony needed to get his soulmate out of there before the reporters descended.

Tony got off the bench and Steve was instantly right next to him on his feet, mirroring his movements. Tony explained, “I have a car waiting for me. We can make our getaway in that before paparazzi start taking notice.”

Steve nodded and they began to walk, with Tony leading the way and Steve was more or less walking beside him. People were watching them and more than one had their phones out. They were going to be the top story tonight, that was a definite.

Steve still looked nervous and Tony wasn’t heartless. He knew what was probably worrying him so he lay a hand on his arm and tried to sound as comforting as possible as he whispered, “Hey, look, it’s not like it was. We don’t have to worry that we are mates. No one is going to care that we are men. All they’ll want to know is if we’re going to wear the same color tuxes at our wedding.”

Steve slowed to a stop in the middle of the path. With a bewildered expression he hissed, “ _We_ – men can marry each other?”

“Welcome to the 21st century,” Tony replied with a grin. Remembering Steve’s prior comments about wanting children, he added, “And those same married couples can adopt kids or use a surrogate to carry their kids. Either way, gay men can have happy families and live the American Dream now.”

Steve stared at him dumbly, making Tony grin. He finally made the Captain speechless.

Tony nodded down the path and said, “Now, come on. Let’s get out of here.”

Tony kept walking and he heard Steve’s footsteps pick up a moment later. He was strangely silent so Tony glanced back at him and nearly stumbled over his feet.

Steve met his eyes and his bottom lip wobbled a little and his eyes were red and glassy with unshed tears but he smiled so brightly at Tony that he felt like he was nearly knock off his feet. He’d never smiled at Tony like that before and the term “breathless” suddenly came to mind because that was what Tony felt when he saw Steve’s unabashed joy.

Steve went from a stuck-up prick to a plain, a stuck-up guy in his mind in five seconds flat. Tony knew he wanted to see him smile more often.

Tony couldn’t stop himself. He reached out and grasped Steve’s hand, curling his fingers into Steve’s. Steve’s hands were larger than his and warmer. The hold was so much more intimate than when they last touched to check if they were soulmates. He felt Steve hesitate for a moment and he stared at Tony as if he were trying to evaluate his actions. But, slowly but surely, he curled his fingers around Tony’s.

Tony smirked. He felt like he had won some kind of test. He pulled Steve onward and whispered, “We’re almost there.”

Steve followed Tony, buoyed by Tony’s hold on him, and he tightened his grip. Tony glanced behind him and saw a smaller more private smile on Steve’s face and it made Tony’s insides bubble excitedly.

Okay, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad mated to Cap.

\---

Steve followed Tony to his car where his bodyguard, Happy, was waiting and rushed them in. The man then rounded the car, slid across the hood, and jumped in the driver’s seat before accelerating into traffic.

He and Tony were thrown to the side, with Steve landing on top of him. Their bodies didn’t land in any compromising positions but the front of their faces ended centimeters from each other and both flushed from the sudden closeness.

Steve scrambled back and Tony pushed himself up to the regular sitting position.

“We are not being pursued, Happy,” Tony commented dryly to his driver.

A small window was all that connected them to the front of the car. Happy didn’t look away from the road but replied, “Just being cautious, sir.”

Once the car remained somewhat stable, Tony cleared his throat and then had several holograms opened before him.

Steve thought back to their fight earlier and Steve wondered how to broach a conversation about it. He was still upset by it, though it had been lessened greatly diminished by the revelation that they were soulmates and the fact that men could get _married_ and _have_ children now.

They still needed to talk about it, however, because, otherwise, it would fester between them and worsen their relationship overtime. And Steve did not want to make what they had between them any worse than it already was…in fact, he was hoping there was a way for them to salvage the tentative bond they shared.

Looking at Tony, Steve’s heart fluttered. His eyes focused on the same brown eyes that had caught his attention when he first saw his photo, and he stared at them unabashed. His gaze was even better in the flesh. But, better yet, his mate was a man and he could be with him without fear.

He was happy by this fact but the fact that it was Tony of all people had him on edge.

Though now…He snuck an appraising glance over the rest of Tony’s profile. An exciting thrill ran through him as he viewed his mate. It still felt forbidden but it made it all the greater that it was no longer bad. From his nice build to his dark eyes, the man was handsome.

Tony suddenly pushed one of his holograms to Steve and said, “It’s just like a touch screen except you can only see it and not feel it.”

Steve looked at the hologram and was surprised to see “The History of Gay Rights in the United States” on its screen.

“I figured you would want to read up on it. It’s probably a shock to the system right now and understanding it will probably make it easier for you,” Tony said with a shrug.

He whispered, “Thank you, Tony…”

Tony shrugged but was grinning smugly. A flicker of annoyance went through him as he recalled how infuriated he usually became with Tony’s smug attitude. It disappeared almost as soon as it appeared. Tony was clearly happy to do this for Steve. He was probably proud to help him out. Steve felt guilty by his initial reaction. He glanced over at Tony and murmured, “This is really nice of you.”

Tony blinked and shrugged, looking off to the side as he replied, “It’s no problem.”

Steve smiled privately to himself as he started to read the article and he did not notice Tony catching that smile and smirking in turn.

Steve read the article and quickly mastered the ability to move the screen down. He was acutely aware as Tony watched him as he did. He shifted in his seat and may have straightened his back slightly with the knowledge.

He was still reading the article when Happy pulled them up to Tony’s Tower. They drove into the lower garage and Steve was surprised to see reporters outside the main doors.

“Told you people would notice,” Tony chuckled.

“What are we going to do about this…” Steve murmured more to himself.

Tony offered, “I can give Clint a call to pick you up in the quinjet. I have a helipad up top…Or you could stay here and…you know, move in?”

Steve instantly was uneasy by the notion. He barely knew the man and what he knew were the quirks that annoyed him…Other than giving him the article to read…that was nice of him.

As if reading his thoughts, Tony quickly continued, “I made the ten floors beneath my penthouse, private living courters. Bruce has already claimed one floor for himself, as did everyone else in the Avengers, so I figure, why not you? You’re welcome to go back to D.C. though, I just thought – it would be easier to get to know you, you know? We’re soulmates. It’s something we can’t ignore and, well, I don’t rub people the right way. I’ve always been told I’m hard to love, so yeah, that’s not a good selling point…Free room and board?” He dryly joked with a nervous edge.

“I don’t have any of my things…” Steve murmured.

“We can move it all over,” Tony assured.

Steve studied Tony for a moment and then cautiously asked, “Are you sure?”

For a moment, he saw a flicker of hesitation within Tony. Tony’s gaze fell to his soul implant. The sleeves of his shirt were drawn back and the implant was just peeking out. He contemplatively ran his finger over the blank surface of his implant, not meeting Steve’s eyes. Tony clasped his hand over the implant, obliterating it from sight, and murmured, “I’ve waited decades for this day…and now that I have you…I’m _very_ sure I do not want to lose you. Stay, Steve. Let’s start over.”

The corner of Steve’s mouth tugged upward and he wordlessly nodded. Tony was the same arrogant, annoying man he’d fought with but, it seemed, there was another side to him. And Steve wanted to find out more, the man was his soulmate after all.

What was it that supposedly made them so compatible?

\---

When it originally got out that Tony found his soulmate and it was a man, the media went nuts. They reported that same-sex soulmates were outnumbered 1 to every 30 heterosexual couples in the country. They were rare but not unheard of, but, it was even rarer for it to happen to one of the select few the media deemed newsworthy.

Captain America’s identity was still unknown to the world at large. Only the conspiracy theorists had touched upon the truth that Steve had never died but most of those people believed the new Captain America was a zombie being controlled by SHIELD, not the actually living man. To the rest of the world, Captain Steven G. Rogers was dead and the man running around as Captain America was a new hero with a secret identity.

All the media knew was that Tony’s mate was a blond, blue-eyed, and well-muscled man.

And it did not go unnoticed that the same man was suddenly seen moving into Stark Tower.

The Tower was surrounded and they both wouldn’t be leaving in a long time without going out of their way. Luckily, all of Steve’s worldly possessions fit in two duffel bags so the move was quick. Unfortunately, Tony felt terrible for the guy when he saw Steve’s life _literally_ fit in two duffel bags and, from what he saw, it was mostly clothes (including his Cap uniform and shield).

So as Steve was settling in, Tony gave him his space and ignored all the outside calls, notifications, and emails. He simply went to work in his lab and ignored the clamoring from the world.

But this led for him and Steve being trapped together in the same building for the extended future.

They tiptoed around each other at first and barely spoke other than the cordial greeting in passing. Both of them were avoiding the white elephant in the room which was their relationship, until finally…

“ _WHAT ARE YOU DOING, TONY_?!”

Tony cringed. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to have put Steve on the Level 1 Clearance list. He got unquestionable access everywhere, including the lab.

Tony pushed up his welding goggles so he could see Steve more easily. He knew it looked bad. He was currently testing his anti-gravity boots to see how long he could stay on the ceiling with them but he grew bored so he took it as a perfect opportunity to do some work on the Hulkbuster suit from a different angle. Tony was welding upside-down which many would probably regard as insane but those foold just couldn’t comprehend his level on genius.

The 225 amp arc welder, that was the size of an old toaster, and probably looked the most dangerous just because it was hanging off his belt by a climber’s hook.

“Hey, Steve!” Tony cheerfully replied, trying to defuse the situation. Pepper would be having an aneurism by now. Probably because the welder was supposed to not be hanging off his person by its handhold as it was not designed for such purposes, but, hey, Tony was innovative. Steve, hopefully, didn’t know the full extent of its injury capabilities…

“That looks extremely dangerous and you are not even properly equipped to be handling that stuff upright!” Steve admonished.

Alright, maybe Steve knew a little bit.

“I have on goggles,” Tony replied smartly.

Steve put his hands on his hips, wearing a frown Tony was starting to become oh-too familiar with in the weeks since he met Steve, and his mate stated, “You’re wearing an undershirt as protection for your torso? Where are the gloves? The fire-retardant clothing?”

Tony sighed heavily. At this rate, Steve was going to turn into Pepper 2.0. He turned off the arc welder and clipped his tools onto his belt. He then crossed his arms over his chest and glowered down at Steve. He stated, “I have been handling these tools since I learned how to walk. I know what I’m doing.”

“To quote you, everything isn’t so ‘black and white’. Things could go out of control from no fault from you,” Steve replied just as stubbornly.

“You and Pepper need to trade notes,” Tony observed, already fearing the deadly force.

Steve smirked and said, “Who do you think sent me down here?”

“Touché. Alright, did you bring a bribe? If you have nothing to bribe me with, Pepper has not properly prepped you, and I’m not coming down.”

 “I brought lunch and Pepper told me she bought all of this from your favorite places,” Steve said, pointing to the disposable coffee cup sitting on the counter beside a takeout box of food.

Tony’s eyes zeroed in on the coffee and he gasped, “I’m coming!”

Tony crossed the ceiling as quickly as the boots would allow. Switching from the ceiling to the wall was a little difficult but the end result was rewarding.

 “Gimmie, gimmie,” Tony gasped, making grabby motions for the coffee. Steve sighed heavily and stepped back to let Tony grab the drink.

Steve watched him inhale the coffee with a pinched expression. He asked, “Is it true that you rarely sleep down here?”

Tony shrugged and lowered the cup enough to mumble, “Busy.”

“You’ve been down here all week,” Steve stated like it was a bad thing.

Tony shrugged and said, “I’ve been doing stuff – _important_ _stuff_.”

Steve looked at the Hulkbuster then back to Tony and asked, “Why is this giant robot important?”

Tony sat at the counter and began to dig into the food. He explained, “Bruce wouldn’t come if I didn’t have a way to stop him if he Hulked out. So I created the Hulkbuster.”

Steve gingerly sat down across from him and murmured, “I read both your files. I know what you did for him. SHIELD was… _unsettled_ by what you did, but I think what you did was good. Bruce is a nice guy.”

“You’ve met him?” Tony murmured in surprise.

Steve quirked an eyebrow and evenly replied, “I’ve been seeing him more than my own soulmate.”

Tony had no clever reply to that. Truthfully, he’d been avoiding Steve, wanting to avoid a fight or a _talk_. He hummed unintelligibly in response and took a noisy slurp out of his cup.

“…I’ve wanted to talk to you abo-,” Steve began but upon the word “talk” Tony inhaled a gulp of liquid and immediately had a coughing fit. Steve stood up and worriedly gasped, “Are you alright?!”

“Fine-!” Tony wheezed, between the jarring coughs, “Went down wrong pipe!”

He coughed for another minute, clearing out the congestion in his throat and Steve slowly sat back down.

Once Tony’s breathing regulated somewhat, Steve murmured, “Don’t forget to eat your food.”

“Yes, mom,” Tony sighed and put down the coffee to oblige his mate. It was take out from his favorite Indian place. As soon as he opened the box, his mouth started to salivate from the heavenly smells and he dove in with the complementary plastic fork that had been taped on the cover.

Steve watched him with a curious expression and Tony asked, “Have you ever had before? Want to try?”

“You sure?” Steve asked, uncertain.

“Yeah, go for it. Mi casa, es su casa, etc., etc.” Tony replied and skewered a tender piece of the Tikka Masala. He held it out to Steve and the super soldier gingerly picked it off his fork.

Steve smiled as tipped the piece of meat Tony’s way and said, “Bottom’s up!”

Steve bit it in half and his eyes widened. He chewed quickly and gasped, “This is delicious!”

Tony grinned and pressed, “Have more!”

Steve shook his head and said, “You need to eat.”

Tony chuckled as he rolled his eyes and mumbled, “ _Yes, mom_.”

Steve rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything more and plopped the other half of his chicken into his mouth. He groaned sinfully from the taste and the hair on the back of Tony’s neck stood up.

Well. Wow. Steve groaning.

That apparently was a thing for Tony.

He flushed privately to himself and stuffed a large piece of chicken in his mouth to keep from saying anything stupid.

Steve innocently licked the sauce off his fingertips and Tony stopped chewing. His brain decided it could handle only so much when Steve was…was doing _things_.

Steve’s eyes returned to his and he said, “I wanted to say I was sorry.”

“Say what now?” Tony asked, sitting up straighter.

Flushing slightly, Steve murmured, “I said some things to you that were uncalled for before…this.” Steve waved to his soul implant and continued, “You are not incompetent. You are a good man and I am sorry for insinuating any differently.”

“Uhhh, well, apology accepted?” Tony replied uncertainly. He remembered his own words and inwardly winced. He quickly replied, “And I’m sorry too. For everything I said! Also not true! You’re not a relic…you’re-you’re-.” He struggled for a better term and finally gasped, “You’re the genuine hero!”

Tony slammed his head on the counter from embarrassment as soon as the words escaped his lips. It sounded like he was quoting something from one of those old Captain America documentaries. Steve chuckled and Tony said, “Ignore me. I sound like an idiot.”

“Thanks, Tony,” Steve murmured.

Tony picked up his head to see Steve smiling at him with a pleased expression. Tony held his hand out to Steve and asked, “So, friends?”

Steve’s smile grew warmer and he grasped Tony’s hand and repeated, “Friends.”

Tony may have held onto Steve’s hand a fraction too long. Steve grip was strong, no question there, but his fingertips were still damp from his mouth, and Tony had a little brain fart. Steve wasn’t doing _things_ again but Tony’s mind was doing _things_ and he could not function with… _things_.

When he recovered, he quickly pulled his hand away with a silly grin.

DUM-E took their moment as one to crash and came zooming over. It grabbed Steve’s outstretched hand and vigorously shook it.

Steve laughed and said, “Wow, hello. Look at you? Aren’t you amazing?”

DUM-E squealed happily and Tony groaned, “Don’t say that. It’ll go to his head.”

DUM-E tugged on Steve’s hand, pulling him away from Tony. Steve stood and asked the robot, with dancing eyes, “Do you want to take me somewhere?”

DUM-E squealed in agreement and Steve let him pull him deeper into the lab. Tony was glad Steve was busily paying attention to DUM-E because Tony had the biggest, goofiest, most embarrassing smile split his face as he watched his soulmate walked hand-in-hand with his creation, admiring all that Tony had made.

\---

Natasha didn't know what to expect when she lowered her weapon and decided not to shoot her soulmate… _But the training regiment?_

He had her waking early every morning sharing a silent breakfast, doing exercises and stretches to strengthen her body, and working her on her snipping skills throughout the day. Mostly they practiced on paper targets, deep into the woods outside of the city, but, sometimes, they were assigned living targets by the Academy and her instructor helped her in her aiming and practice with them. The assassinations were minor and nothing like what she be expected to do once she graduated from the Black Widow Program.

He moved into her apartment under the guise as her soulmate and fiancé but they slept in different rooms and rarely spoke.

He never once brought up the fact that they were soulmates again.

He never even asked for her name or had given his in exchange.

Natasha was always watching him. At first, she was looking for betrayal, she thought he might try to get revenge for her attacking him but he acted like she never did. Then she was looking for him to come at her for her body. They were soulmates so it was expected to be intimately involved and she slept with a knife under her pillow, unwilling to share her body for a principle. But he never came to her, not even for a chaste kiss.

She soon found herself watching the man for no reason other than just to watch him to try and understand him. Why hadn’t he done anything? What was his motive?

She studied his calm nature and the routines he practiced daily like it was an alien custom. She picked it apart, trying to understand him, his motives, his feelings, anything, but the man was like a blank slate. Sometimes he caught her staring. His dark blue eyes would suddenly peer at her through the partings in his loose hair and he’d stare at her until she looked away. His stare was so steady and intense that it would make her feel unsteady.

Finally, she gave in one morning over breakfast. The usual silence was too maddening and she broke it by mumbling, “Natasha.”

He was sitting across from her and he paused in eating his oatmeal to look at her. He wordless studied her and then, without understanding, he dryly repeated, “Natasha.”

She took a bite of her oatmeal, chewed, and swallowed it before she replied, “My name is  
Natasha.”

He stared at her with that unflinching gaze and she stared back unwavering, despite the fact that his gaze made her want to look away. He finally nodded and then went back to eating without giving her his name.

Natasha rolled her eyes. Her soulmate was certainly a man of little words. She asked, “What’s your name?”

This time her mate totally froze and had even stopped chewing the food in his mouth. He glared at her like he was offended by her asking.

Natasha sighed heavily and put down her spoon. She stated, “Look. I am not going to keep calling you ‘teacher.’ It’s weird and…” She sighed lightly and continued, “You are my soulmate and, if we are going to live together with that knowledge, then we need to at least try to be friendly. So my name is Natasha, what is yours?”

He slowly put his utensil down and swallowed his food thickly. Without looking at her, he whispered, “I do not have a name.”

Natasha did not let her emotions show but she was shocked by his proclamation. She quickly reviewed the possibilities and chose the most likely. She asked softly, “Have you assumed so many names that you’ve forgotten your real one?”

She had heard it happened to some of the more veteran assassins, especially those who have been in the program since they were young children. She’d already forgotten her real last name but held onto her first name like it was a lifeline.

Natasha was the informal version of Natalia but she still remembered it to be her true name even though everyone else in her life knew her as “Natasha” only.

He shook his head and murmured, “I am a machine for my master. I am not allowed to have a name, only a mission.”

Natasha absorbed the information silently and did not reply for several long moments. Her mate watched her with a critical eye the entire time. He was still as a statue and had even stopped eating. All of his attention was focused on her.

Internally, Natasha felt sick. Her soulmate had been erased. It was the worst thing that could happen to an agent of the Academy. His mannerisms made so much sense now. The Academy had taken away his mind, his will, his memories…everything.

What was left? Did he even have emotions left?

The way he’d been acting made so much sense now. Her mate would not act without orders. His interactions with her were limited to what his master had ordered, to train her. The only deviation was when they first met and he asked her to go against her orders…what if he did that only to keep _his_ mission on the directive. What if he really was not interested in the fact that they were soulmates? What if this was only a mission?

Natasha did not know how she felt about that if it were the case. She grew up and trained with the belief that she would kill her mate as soon as she met him. But now she had him and she began to…

“And I am your mission right now?” She asked him gently. Her feelings were conflicted. How did this man see her? Was she even a person to him? Had she made a mistake in not pulling the trigger?

“Yes, you are my mission. You are one of the best recruits the Academy has seen in years. My master was asked to provide my experience in order to make you even greater,” he stated almost as if he was reciting what his master had said to the word.

“And the fact that I am your soulmate?”

Her mate looked down and ran his metal fingers across the pad of his thumb. She wondered if he could feel anything with those metal fingers. He took a moment to answer but Natasha could see his internal struggle reflected in his eyes.

It was encouraging and reminded her of the day they first met. There was obviously something more there than the machine their masters wanted her mate to be.

He whispered, “Your being my soulmate changes a lot of things I…I am unable to comprehend. It’s making me question things, question my master, and the Academy.”

Natasha shivered. She’d never say such words aloud out of fear for her own life. The Academy did not take such thoughts lightly.

He continued, “I recently remembered the moment my implant activated. I hadn’t remembered it since yesterday…they took it from me like everything else. Just like they took my name and I know they took _much_ _more_ from me.” He looked back to her, his dark eyes revealed a storm of emotions that seemed to be overwhelming him.

He probably was not used to such emotions and she felt pity for him but also relief. Her mate was not wholly machine. There was a man in there somewhere, struggling to get out.

He cautiously reached across the table with his flesh hand and lightly grasped Natasha’s hand. His hands were calloused and the large juncture between his thumb and forefinger was layered with scars from the backlash of the various guns he had used over the years. But the rough hands were warm and gentle. Like a nervous cat, she silently calmed under the light caress of his toughened fingers. He roughly whispered, “I don’t want them to take this from me.”

His voice was broken. He might not want them to do it but he knew they would take it all again. He was strong, a super solider, and to control him they must have taken memories away from him along with his freedom. He knew it and accepted it.

He was probably so brainwashed that he would act on his master’s command with no question. He’d even kill her if his master wanted it. He would have no choice or control.

Natasha had her freedoms stripped from her but she still retained her own mind at least and she couldn’t imagine accepting the Academy or anyone having such control over her. It was frightening…

When she had lowered her gun the day she met him, she told herself she would be cautious around him. She originally saw being soulmates like a cage. She would have been the bird trapped within it and he would have been her handler, feeding her bits and pieces and eventually clipping her wings if their relationship ever came to fruition. So, she decided, she would watch him, see what he had to offer, but as soon as he gave her the chance, she planned to fly away.

But, in actuality, he was trapped in the cage with her too. It wasn’t the fact that they were soulmates was what trapped them…It was the Academy. Natasha’s wings were whole but his were already clipped and he was trapped. By staying with him, she risked getting her wings clipped too.

They were more dangerous thoughts about the Academy. Such notions had never come to mind before she met this man…or, maybe her eyes were not open _until_ she had met him…

 _More dangerous thoughts_. Her stomached clenched uneasily but she inhaled a few short meditative, even breaths to still it.

She looked to her mate and then to where his hand still remained clasped over hers. What they were attempting was dangerous, both of them were disallowed mates, but…Natasha wanted to continue. She would remain in the cage beside her mate and knew she was prepared to peck at any hand that came near them.

Her mate was healing and she wanted to see the man that emerged.

How much more would he remember being separated from his master? How much more would Natasha begin to question her masters as well?

Natasha rolled her hand under his hand and carded her fingers through his. She felt him jolt with surprise. She played it off as nothing and murmured, “I’m still not going to call you ‘teacher’ anymore. Hurry up on remembering your real name.”

Her soulmate blinked in confusion and then nodded sternly in affirmation. He picked up his spoon and went back to eating his oatmeal, however, he was doing it one handed. His other hand remained clasped in hers on the tabletop and it didn’t seem he was planning on letting her go anytime soon.

Natasha copied him and began to eat one handed too and her mate smiled. It was the first time she had ever seen him do it and, it may have been small and barely noticeable, but it brought a smile to her face too.

The rest of breakfast was quiet as usual but the atmosphere was different. She finally felt comfortable with him.

\---

With Natasha, the Soldier began to learn the meaning of peace. He’d grown used to a ridged, routine life and always being on his guard. He was not used to having someone he could trust to have his back. He found it relaxed the muscles in his upper back from their usual tense tightness and helped him sleep easier.

He found himself staring at her whenever she wasn’t looking. She was beautiful. He didn’t think he’d seen another being so beautiful and lethal all at once. She was a quick learner too and he felt pride in her whenever she surpassed her next level.

He watched her also to garner as many memories as possible of her. He never wanted to forget her. He studied her so much that, when he closed his eyes at night, he could easily picture her face before going to sleep.

Ever since they held hands at breakfast, he found himself reaching out to her more. They’d hold hands walking down the street, driving in the car, or eating together. They’d lean into each other’s sides whenever next to each other. And whenever she caught him staring at her, she’d smile and he was beginning to smile in return.

Being together was becoming normal and it was something he started to need and enjoy. He couldn’t imagine his life without her and he did not let himself linger on such thoughts. They were supposed to be together until he finished training her. After, they were supposed to return to their respective masters and most likely never see each other again. Thinking about their bleak future ultimately made him think of other possible futures which made him physically ill because he’d then be disobeying his master and that was not allowed.

So he lived in the now and appreciated every precious second he had with his soulmate.

Natasha seemed content with their lives as well and never pushed him away.

She had even started a game of trying to guess his name.

“Good morning, Dmitri,” she murmured as she passed him in the hall. The Soldier must have made an interesting expression because Natasha giggled and said, “I think we can rule out Dmitri…Right, Aleksey?”

The Soldier shook his head but did not discourage her efforts. Who knew, maybe she’d actually get it one day…

He wordlessly made breakfast as she was in the shower and had their customary oatmeal ready and waiting for her when she came out dressed in fresh clothes and with wet hair. She surprised him when she picked up her bowl and chair and moved the various items to sit beside all of his. Her chair was so close that she was able to lean into his side and he could just smell the cleanliness of the fresh soap on her skin.

“Ignatiy?” She guessed another name.

“Nothing,” he confirmed.

She shrugged and began to eat the oatmeal with her head leaning against his shoulder.

The Soldier found he couldn’t eat. Something was wrong. His chest was constricting and he could not even his breathing.

“I feel…strange,” he finally voiced in case he passed out.

Natasha glanced up at him, keeping her head on his shoulder. She lightly asked, “What’s wrong?”

He explained his ailments and she grinned. She cupped his arm and murmured, “I think you are happy here, with me.”

It felt like her words were tugging at his very heart. When had she attained such power over him?

“Ivanhoe?” Natasha guessed, removing her hand from his arm but still leaning into him.

A short chuckle escaped his lips, surprising them both.

“No,” he whispered and shook his head as a smile played on his lips. He pressed his face into her damp, wavy, red hair and she grasped his hand and threaded her fingers through his.

She continued to murmur names as their carded fingers moved and caressed one another. The strange feeling returned but he embraced it and was finally able to label what was growing in his heart: love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Natasha and Bucky's relationship is obviously progressing a little faster and that is only so I can break them sooner! >:D
> 
> Next time, Ch. 4: The Beginning and End of a Name


	4. The Beginning and End to a Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read...
> 
> The name "Stepan" is pronounced stee-PHAN.

It was late by the time they got back to the apartment. The Soldier instantly dismantled his gun and started to clean it. Natasha left him with her rifle and went into the kitchen to make them some food. As she did, she started guessing names again.

“Vlad…Yuri…Oleg….Kostya—.”

The Soldier listened to the steady stream of names with a small smile. They meant nothing to him but the fact that Natasha was trying to –.

“…Stepan.”

The Soldier felt his entire body shiver as if it was plunged into cold water. But, what really stood out to him was the way his heart seemed to stop beating upon hearing the name. It clenched tightly in his chest and stole his breath.

Natasha was about to name another when he hoarsely demanded, “Say it again.”

Natasha’s eyes widened and she paused in whatever she was doing. Staring at him intently, she slowly repeated, “Stepan.”

It sounded right and wrong. His heart unclenched and was starting to race. He gasped, “I think you were close.”

Natasha ran up to his side and knelt beside him. She grasped his arm and excitedly asked, “What about Stephanos? Or Stas? Or Stanimir? Or-?”

The Soldier hushed her by touching the tips of his fingers to her lips and they both froze.

Her mouth was warm and soft beneath his hand and he gulped dryly which did not go unnoticed by Natasha. Her eyes flashed and her lips flexed beneath him. They had been dancing around their soulmate status for nearly a month now. They were close and held hands or leaned into each other but were never more intimate than that…and he wanted to be.

He didn’t just remove his fingers, but slowly traced her lips until he reached the edge of the pinkened flesh. A slight blush tinted her cheeks but her eyes were heated. Neither had breached anything more physical than holding each other until that moment. She bit down on her lips and they disappeared in her mouth for a moment only to reemerge moistened, soft, and inviting.

His fingers traced her jawline and then cupped her cheek. She leaned into his hold and placed her hand over his.

His instincts screamed with the need to claim her. To press his lips into hers and finally end their dancing around it. She was his soulmate and he wanted her body and soul.

But he was still too afraid to lead. He was not used to being his own master and making moves without command. He pressed his forehead to hers and whispered, “My heart is racing.”

“Mine too,” she whispered, scooting closer to him. Their noses brushed and their breath intermingled as they stared intently into each other’s eyes.

“Is this alright?” He asked, unsure of her feelings. She was so independent, he at times wondered if she needed him like he needed her.

All his doubts disappeared as she pressed her lips against his. Her arms wrapped around his head and pulled him in deeper. He responded by curling his hand into her hair at the back of her head and drawing his other arm around her back to press her closer to him.

She shifted onto his lap and he leaned back to accommodate her…only to tip the chair back too far and have them both plummet to the ground in a swift fall.

 They landed with a breathless oomph and the Soldier’s back was aching from the impact but Natasha chuckled, pressing her face into his chest to muffle it, and he barely noticed the pain.

“I think we need to add this to our training regimen,” she murmured jokingly and kissed him again. This time it was short and she broke it with a smile. She got to her feet and helped him up.

The Soldier smirked and replied, “That is fine by me.”

Natasha laughed and it was a wondrous sound. She pinched his chin and slipped out of his hold. She asked, “So Stepan but not Stepan? I can work with that.”

She returned to where she left the food with a slight spring he’d seen her practicing in her ballet classes.

He watched her entranced. Her lips were redder from kissing his and her hair was slightly rustled from its usual perfect appearance.  Her pale green eyes flickered up and focused on him. She stated, “If you want to kiss me again you need to finish cleaning those guns and then eat all your proteins.”

With a small grin, the Soldier picked up the gun that had fallen to the floor and sat on their remaining chair. He happily did as she commanded, it was a sentiment he’d never once remembered feeling.

Silence fell between them as they both got to work, but they were both smiling and the air was electric between them. The Soldier cleaned the guns quickly and his lips never stopped tingling from their kisses.

He returned the guns to the rack they had hidden in the closet and when he came back to the kitchen, Natasha was already eating. She was leaning into the counter on her elbows and her eyes sparkled when they met his.

The Soldier ignored the lone chair at the table and took his place by her, leaning into her side and the counter. They picked off the same plate, sharing meat and vegetables in silence.

“Stepan-not-Stepan,” she murmured teasingly when they finished and put the plate in the sink. The name was imperfect and he could feel the actual one waiting on the tip of his tongue, ready to roll out. But he was positive she would help him remember it.

He smiled warmly at her and she inserted her hands in the spaces between his arms and ribs before pressing her chest to his and wrapping her arms around him.

He dipped his head and buried his face in her hair.

“I’d be nothing without you,” he whispered.

“…And I’d be alone,” she replied, kissing the pulse point in his neck. She continued, “I was nobody…just a puppet, before I met you. My world has changed too, Stepan-not-Stepan.” She said the name with a wily grin and cupped the side of his face.

The Solider grinned and met her halfway to accept her kiss.

They started kissing in the kitchen, but, as their kisses became less chaste, they rolled against the walls and eventually made their way to Natasha’s bedroom. They fell onto her bed kissing, touching, and laughing.

The Soldier never realized he could feel so happy. His memories may be scattered, but as long as Natasha was in his arms, he knew he would feel whole.

Despite the excitement that was brought about with their kisses, their bodies reminded them of the exhaustions of the day as soon as they laid down. Their wild kisses turned lazy and they fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms with their lips still just touching.

Ever since he discovered Natasha was his soulmate, he had been slowly recovering his memories. The only things he had remembered so far were kills. He’d teach Natasha how to shoot a long range target with a particular rifle and he’d remember killing someone with the same rifle later that night.

That night was no different, only he did not recall killing another target.

He remembered Stepan.

Or, in actuality…

 

_“STEVEN GRANT ROGERS!”_

_The boy beside him flinched. One glance at his companion and he could easily guess why the woman had exclaimed with such shock and outrage. The blond boy was bloodied, dirty, and supporting a newly forming black eye._

_The older woman tittered over his compatriot’s condition and wiped away some of the dirt on his face, while darkly muttering, “What am I going to do with you?”_

_“Sorry, Ma, there was this gang of kids and –.”_

_While Steven’s mother was busily chastising her son, he was slowly backing up, planning on sneaking away, but Steven’s mother’s eyes snapped to him upon his moving and he knew he was done for._

_“You sit right here, James Buchanan Barnes. You are next and then we are all going to take a walk to see YOUR mother.”_

_He grumbled to himself, just low enough so she wouldn’t hear him, and dejectedly sat beside Steve._

_Steve smiled apologetically to him and then squawked loudly in protest when his mother grasped his chin and began to wipe away more blood and dirt._

_She came after him next with a fresh cloth. His split lip stung as it reopened and he exclaimed, “Jesus –!”_

“- _Christ_!” The Soldier exclaimed.

The memory of the sting had him jolting up in bed and he touched his bottom lip as the pain lingered.

Natasha was sitting up with him as she was instantly awake with exclamation. She relaxed when she saw there was no clear danger.

“A dream?” She guessed.

Still touching his lip, he looked at her and the significance of the memory came racing back to him.

A small smile graced his face and replied, “ _More_ _than_ _that_.”

Her brows pinched in confusion and she asked, “What more?.. And why are you speaking to me in English?”

Reflecting, he realized he had and murmured, “I didn’t mean to…” He paused as he reassessed his dream.

“ _Jesus_ _Christ_ ,” he repeated under his breath with the English inflection of the holy name.

“ _Is this training_?” She asked in English with a yawn. “ _Because this was the first foreign language I was taught_.”

“No – No,” he replied, switching back to Russian. “My dream, it was actually a memory – _in_ _English_ – and I remember - _Steven_ \- my friend. It was his name I connected to Stepan.” He grasped her hand and whispered, “They called me ‘James.’ My name is James.”

“James,” she repeated and hearing her say it solidified it in his mind. There was no questioning it or the memory. This was his name. It did not feel odd like Stepan had.

“James,” he repeated, the name rolling off his tongue with ease.

He had a name. He had his soulmate. And he was going to make damn sure he had a future with her.

Natasha lightly grasped the sides of his neck and drew him into a kiss as she murmured, “ _James_.”

Smiling, he gasped, “Natash-.”

She cut him off with the press of her lips and slid her body against his. His mouth was still open from almost saying her name when her tongue slid into his mouth. He groaned and his heart was thudding so strongly he knew Natasha had to feel it too. He ran his fingers through her hair and tasted her tongue and mouth. He tasted Natasha’s essence and knew nothing could taste as good as her.

They kept their mouths connected as long as they could. Shallowly gasping for air whenever one of them tilted their heads or move their lips right. But it finally became too much and they broke apart with sharp gasps.

Natasha pressed her forehead to his and stared into his eyes. He stared back, entranced by her light green eyes. He could drown in those pools of algae for days.

“Natalia,” she whispered.

“Natalia?” He huskily whispered, brushing her hair from her face.

“That was my name before the Academy,” she whispered. “I want you to use it when we’re in private, James. I don’t want anyone to know it but you.”

The sound of his name on her hushed lips made him shiver. He breathed against her lips, “I promise, _Natalia_.”

They kissed again but it was nothing like any of the other kisses. This was a kiss brought about by forbidden secrets being shared and the trust they had in each other. It was about how they both knew, at that moment, what it meant being soulmates. They were truly of one body and soul.

Natasha ran her hands down his sides until she reached his hips and then pressed his hips to hers. He moaned into her mouth as the friction between their bodies made him electrified with desire.

“ _Christ_ ,” he hissed into her mouth, using the English moniker again.

Natasha chuckled but her face became more serious when his gaze focused on her. She grasped his right hand and slowly drew it down her body. He watched his limb’s progress with a dry mouth. She settled his hand on her breast and let out a breathless gasp as he cupped it.

They had fallen into bed with the clothes they wore that day so a few layers separated him from Natasha’s flesh but he could feel the heat coming off her body and the softness of her breast. He trembled from the intimacy and felt humbled by the fact that she wanted this…wanted him.

He ran his thumb over the soft flesh and felt her nipple puckering beneath. She pressed into his touch with a light huff and put her hand over his, pressing him deeper into his flesh.

“ _James_ ,” she gasped.

Kneading her breast, he leaned down and breathed into her mouth, “ _Natalia_.”

She kissed him fiercely and she pulled at his shirt. He did not want to let go of her but her moans of frustration finally broke through the haze of lust that was growing in him. He helped her remove his top layers. As he pulled his undershirt over his head, she ran her hands up his torso and then sat up and pressed kisses up his chest.

He threw his undershirt aside and wrapped his arms around her to encourage the kissing. She paused in her kissing to trace the scarred tissue where his body turned metal.

“Does it hurt?” She asked in a hushed whisper.

“Only in the cold,” he murmured, pressing his face into her hair. The metal would become bone numbingly cold in extreme weather and painfully freeze the area where it was attached.

Natasha kissed a patch of gnarled flesh and then sat up.

For a moment, he thought she was pulling away from him and his heart seized. He thought his arm had disgusted her and lamented his loss. But then she untucked her shirt from her pants and began to unbutton it.

Looking up at him with wanton eyes, she asked, “Are you going to help?”

James’s heartbeat picked up and beat more quickly than he ever felt before. He scrambled to help and started to unbutton from the bottom of her shirt as she worked from the top. He leaned in and kissed her as he did. When their hands met in the middle, he parted her shirt and embraced her as she wrapped her arms around the back of his head to deepen their kiss. They fell back down on the bed with him on top of her.

They worked together to pluck off Natasha’s top layers and continue kissing.

Once she was as bare as he was, she grasped both of his hands and made him cup both of her breasts and they groaned together upon the contact.

“ _James_ ,” she groaned his name like an orgasm. It made his cock pulse with more blood. He wanted to make her come, screaming his name.

He kissed her gently, kneading her breasts and thumbing her nipples, and then whispered into her mouth, “I want to make love to you, Natalia.”

She arched her body up into his and gasped, “Yes.”

They returned to kissing but both pulled at their remaining clothing, desperate to be naked and for their flesh to touch unencumbered.

James did not want to stop touching his soulmate but he was so tempted to slip out of the bed and turn on the lights to look upon her body. Instead, he used another of his senses, touch. He ran the tips of his fingers over the dips and curves of her body, picturing her in his mind’s eye. He came across the crater on her hip and remembered shooting her. He paused in touching her and traced the scar tissue with his thumb.

“You know,” Natasha commented dryly. “The female body has a number of sensitive zones and you are currently not focusing on any one of them.”

James ducked his head to hide a smile she couldn’t have seen in the dark any ways. He bent down and apologetically kissed the bullet wound and then trailed kisses lower down her waist to the most sensitive part of her body. Natasha shuddered and her nails dug into his scalp.

He did not remember making love to anyone but his body and instincts seemed to know what to do and how to give his soulmate the most pleasure. Natasha writhed under him, making noises that went straight to his aching cock.

He brought her to the edge with just his mouth and then stopped. Natasha made an incoherent form of protest but James crawled up her body and kissed her so she could taste herself on his lips. He whispered into her mouth, “I want to come with you.”

She rolled them over so she was on top and he moaned as she settled in position. _Yes_ , _God_ , this was what he wanted.

She grasped him and lowered herself down slowly. They moaned together and then slowly started to move and make love.

He wanted to come as soon as he entered her but held on, strangling the sheets as she picked up tempo. When she finally cried out he let go and they came together in a chorus of voices.

She fell back onto the bed and he curled around her. She nuzzled her face next to his and whispered his name on a soft sigh, “ _James_.”

He smiled and whispered sweetly in reply, “ _Natalia_.”

Nothing more needed to be said. The privacy of their secret names was as grand as a declaration of love.

Natasha was the first to go back to sleep. She breathed lightly with her head nestled on his chest. She felt like she belonged there with his arm wrapped securely around her.

His mind wandered eventually back to the dream and the boy, his long lost friend, Steve.

And the fact that they both were clearly American.

The mystery of his past just became much more vaster than he could have ever imagined.

James closed his eyes, his mind still on the blond boy as he fell asleep, and his dreams were irrevocably filled with red, white, and blue imagery.

\---

Coulson, Pepper, Tony, and Steve were all gathered in one of the Tower’s conference rooms. Steve and Tony were the only two sitting and Coulson and Pepper looked like they were about to bite each other’s faces off.

Tony wished he brought popcorn.

“If Cap goes to the fundraiser with Stark, then we calculate his true identity will be discovered within fifteen minutes – _twenty_ , if we’re lucky,” Coulson stated.

 “If _Tony_ doesn’t go to the fundraiser with _his soulmate_ , our stock prices will plummet within _five_ minutes, if we’re lucky,” Pepper countered.

“It’s simple!” Tony announced, waving his arms to garner both Pepper and Coulson’s attention. When their heads both snapped in his direction, he stated, “I don’t go.”

Pepper gaze grew thunderous and she hissed, “The _NYFD’_ _Razer_ is _your_ _baby_! You haven’t missed it ever since _you_ started it! You are not missing it over something so trivial!”

“The Captain’s identity is not trivial!” Coulson retorted, “His anonymity is all he has! Once it gets out Steve Rogers is still alive the world will clamor for answers and less reputable organizations will want to get a hold of him for the serum in his DNA! His identity is all that is keeping him marginally safe at the moment! Right now, the only pictures of him with Stark were made by amateurs with poor quality cameras but once the professional photos get out it’ll be all over!”

“Phil…” Steve sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose before stating, “I don’t think I will be able to keep my privacy for long being mated to Tony. Eventually, someone is going to find out. Wouldn’t it be better to do it on our own terms? I’m prepared to tell everyone right now.”

Grinning triumphantly, Pepper stated, “We can prepare the press statements and have them released while they are at the party.” Turning to Coulson, she said, “We can also schedule interviews with the major news conglomerates so they will not be overly accosted when they leave! We can control this, Phil, and Steve will be safe in the Tower. It’s the safest building in New York.”

“Fury won’t like this,” Coulson stated ominously.

“I’m in,” Tony chirped, sitting up straighter. Upon Coulson’s glare, Tony reiterated, “As long as Steve’s okay with it, _I am_.”

Pepper rolled her eyes and said, “We have bigger problems than Fury.”

Steve perked an eyebrow and asked, “What?”

“You two,” she replied, pointing between Steve and Tony.

Tony gave Pepper his best “personally affronted” look and gasped, “What do you mean??”

“It’s been a month since your timers went off and you’re still…not, well, a couple,” she replied. “It’s…” She grappled for a word. “It’s…”

“Odd,” Coulson provided.

From the corner of his eye, Steve turned bright red.

“A fractured soulmate pairing would be worse press than if you didn’t turn up at all,” Pepper said, nodding to Coulson in thanks.

“We’re…friends,” Steve countered, glancing at Tony.

“We’re getting there and it’s none of the press’s business what I do with my soulmate,” Tony said, avoiding Steve’s eyes. He felt uncomfortable bringing it up in front of these two. Neither of them personally discussed it. Steve had confessed to liking men when they first met but he didn’t bring it up again. Tony only knew Steve was interested because of the shy smiles or lingering looks he gave to Tony.

They were close and bordering on more than friends close, but they were not there yet. They enjoyed each other’s company and were still working on how they fit together. Tony hadn’t wanted to rush that, especially with how they started out.

“Listen guys,” Pepper said with a sigh. “The stark truth of it is, you need to be more than friends by the end of the week if you want Stark Enterprises to stay afloat.”

“Or you two can just not go,” Coulson interceded.

“ _Philllll_ …” Pepper groaned, turning her attention back to him.

“We’ll go,” Steve announced, catching them all by surprise. Tony turned to his soulmate and Steve met his gaze with a nervous smile. He clarified, “We’ll go as a couple.”

Tony stared at Steve with shock. He eventually managed to garble, “R-Really?”  Before his hopes were dashed, he asked, “Like fake couple or real couple?”

Steve leaned closer to him and whispered, “Truthfully…I’ve been wanting to ask you out for a while…I just didn’t know how to broach it. So real couple…if you don’t mind?”

Tony leaned in, placing himself just a breath away from Steve, and breathily murmured, “Oh, I do mind. I am _very_ interested in being a ‘real couple’ with you, Steve.”

Steve grinned and a slight flush stained his cheeks but he whispered, “Good…That’s good.”

“Well that solves one thing,” Pepper stated, breaking them out of their reverie.

They broke apart with guilty smiles but both slyly glanced at each other from the corners of their eyes. Pepper and Coulson went over the particulars to the event itself and Tony did not hear much of the details as Steve had dropped his hand between them and Tony did the same. Steve carefully reached out to him and threaded his fingers through Tony’s.

Tony happily flushed as his emotions surged up into his chest in a fluttering cloud of warmth and excitement. The old hopes and dreams he had smothered and pretended were not there resurfaced. At that moment, he knew he and Steve could do it. They could be happy and fall in love. He was no longer alone…and he’d never be alone again.

\---

The rest of the week was mostly a debate between Phil and Pepper, over what Steve would wear. First, they discussed whether or not he’d wear the Army’s dress uniform or a tuxedo like Tony. Once they finally decided on the dress uniform they then got into a debate whether he’d wear the more modern navy blue uniform or the one from his era that was olive green.

Steve did not care either way and watched the two debate with patience.

Eventually, Tony butted in and said, “We’re going with the blue one!” When they all stared at him questionably, Tony retorted, “It’ll go with Steve’s eyes.”

Steve flushed and Pepper muttered under her breath, “Thank God, they’re finally acting like a couple.”

So Steve was fitted for the dress uniform and the day of the fundraiser it was delivered. It was the dark navy blue that was promised and much more comfortable than his old dress uniform. Phil helped him apply the thin, rectangular ribbons. He had a number of medals that he had earned for serving his country but Steve had to shake his head at the medals. The ribbons, above his left breast pocket, stated all that he did in the color coded bars and he did not need to be anymore flashy about it.

Fingering the tightly threaded ribbons, Steve asked Phil, “Why give me the ribbons? They will tell people I served in World War II. It’ll help them figure out who I am faster. Isn’t that what you didn’t want?”

“They’ll find out anyways,” he replied with a small shrug. “I just wanted everyone to know all the great you did too.”

Steve flushed from Phil’s praise but thanked him.

After Phil left, Steve found Tony to show off his new goods.

Tony whistled and murmured appraisingly, “Very nice…but, we could straighten out your tie a little…”

Tony separated the distance between them and pressed himself flush to Steve. The breath caught in Steve’s throat as he felt the mold of Tony’s body against his. He grasped one of Tony’s elbows to keep him close. Tony smiled wickedly at him and ran his hands up Steve’s chest until he finally reached his tie. He tugged on it, pulling his neck down and closer to Tony’s face.

Tony’s breath caressed his cheek and Tony whispered, “Orders, Captain?”

Steve smiled at Tony as an excited thrill ran through him and he boldly whispered, “Kiss me.”

Tony’s smile encompassed his entire face and Steve knew he said the right thing.

“Sir, yes, sir,” Tony’s voice rumbled and they stood so close that Steve could feel the vibrations against his skin. Steve met him halfway, his eyes closing as he did. Tony inhaled sharply before their lips touched and Steve felt the air rush past his lips before touching Tony’s.

Tony held Steve tightly as he guided him into the kiss. His facial hair scratched at Steve’s skin and his lips had a hint of whiskey on them. But they were warm and soft and so gently that Steve barely noticed. Steve followed every tilt Tony’s head, chased every stolen breath, and loved every moment of their intimate contact.

Steve had a few stolen kisses on his USO tour in the 40s but he’d never kissed a man or felt his heart soar in such a way when Tony kissed him.

When Tony pulled away from him, Steve was reluctant for the moment to end. With slightly puffy lips, Tony smiled happily at him and murmured, “For a first kiss, that one was pretty fantastic. One of the top ten in history even. I bet we did better than Romeo and Juliet.”

Steve leaned in and replied, “We should kiss again, just for clarification.”

Tony laughed and wound his arms behind Steve’s head and whispered against his lips, “I love how meticulous you are.”

They kissed again and Steve grasped Tony’s hips to press their bodies as tightly together as their lips. Tony groaned into his mouth and Steve dug his fingers deeper into Tony’s flesh.

They pulled away slowly and they blinked open their eyes together. They smiled blissfully at each other. When he first met Tony, he never imagined himself in such a position with him and, even if he did, he probably would have never imagined feeling such elation.

Tony lightly patted him on the chest and unwrapped his arms, leaving Steve’s neck and front cold. Tony murmured, “I knew the blue would look great on you.”

Steve smiled, internally rolling for joy at the praise, and replied, “Thank you. You look great too.”

Tony smirked and crooked an eyebrow as he bantered, “I think I got that vibe after I caught you checking out my ass for the second time.”

Knowing Tony was teasing him, Steve did not back down and boldly flirted back, “I liked what I saw.”

Tony laughed and grasped his hands as he asked, “Do you think we will be coupley enough for Pep?”

Steve rolled his eyes and murmured, “Disgustingly so. I don’t think we have any problem there anymore.”

They hadn’t left each other’s sides since the first meeting. Steve never felt so happy and ecstatic in his life. It had been over a month since that faithful day and he couldn’t believe how much they had changed since then. Steve could actually imagine starting to construct a future with the man beside him.

“…So,” Tony murmured, stepping closer to Steve so that their chests were touching again. He slid his hands over Steve’s chest and his eyes were focused on his throat. Tony continued, “After the fundraiser, I was wondering if you’d like to spend the night?”

The question shocked him. Steve had hopefully imagined being with a man as a teenager, he’d shamefully dreamed of it as a young adult, and he had only just recently believed he could truly be happy with a man thanks to Tony.

“…I’m not expecting us to jump into sex. I just want to be with you. Cuddling!” Tony nervously said with Steve’s silence. “Like last night! Ugh, that came out wrong!”

Steve stroked his arm and Tony stuttered to a stop.

“Sounds like a dream come true,” Steve whispered truthfully.

Tony’s grin widened and he laughed playfully, “You sound like you are quoting something from a Disney movie!”

“It’s true,” Steve flushed. “I _literally_ thought something like this could only happen in my dreams as I grew up!”

Tony cupped his jaw and murmured, “I know…I think it’s hilarious though because it’s just us, our relationship, it’s cliché but I love it.”

“Even the awkward beginning?” Steve asked.

“Adds to the cliché. Promise not to leave me for a dream job in another city? Or have some deep dark secret that can possibly break us up?”

Steve laughed and Tony watched him with a warm expression. Once he stopped laughing, Tony asked, “So I take it tonight is a go?”

Laying his arms on Tony’s shoulders in a relaxed fashion and locking his hands behind his head, Steve replied, “Yes, it is, unless the clichés continue and one of us is kidnapped or loses his memory.”

“Don’t jinx us!” Tony gasped in mock horror, making Steve laugh.

They were still laughing when they went down to the garage, where Happy was waiting for them with their ride.

“Hello, sirs,” Happy said with an overextended bow that made Tony sigh despairingly. From what Steve understood, he was trying to get Happy to tone down his master/servant vibe with no success. Happy informed them, “We already have company outside. The media knows Mr. Stark will be arriving with a special guest.”

“Thanks to my blackout windows, they won’t see me or my ‘guest’ until we arrive,” Tony replied, wrapping an arm around Steve’s waist. Looking to Steve he asked, “Ready to go? Or should we do something cliché and have a fight, only to reunite at the fundraiser and slow dance to some 80s music?”

Steve snorted and wordlessly pulled Tony to the car. Happy opened the door for them and Steve murmured, “I need to watch some of these romantic comedies, the clichés you are listing off are getting ridiculous.”

They settled in the back, right next to each other, of course, and Steve wrapped his arm around Tony’s shoulders. Happy closed the door as Tony leaned into him and replied, “I haven’t even gotten to the over-the-top clichés yet…or are you Steve’s evil twin brother seeing me romantically out of revenge against your twin?!”

Steve was laughing so hard that he didn’t even notice the reporters outside the Tower when they exited the building.

They spent the drive over talking about clichés and Steve trying to guess if Tony was pulling his leg or not about the plot of some of the movies he described.

They got stuck in traffic for the drop-off zone until finally, Happy announced, “We’re next in line.”

Steve sat up sharply an eyed the large crowd uneasily. Tony grasped his hand and murmured, “Nervous?”

“Yeah,” Steve whispered. Pepper had already warned him of the extreme reaction he should expect from the press. It was going to be so much more different from the laid back press junkets he was used to during World War II.

“You’ll do great,” Tony promised, tearing Steve’s eyes away from the crowd. He grasped Steve’s cheek and kissed him with a happy hum. He pulled away and opened the door with a smirk. He whispered to Steve, “Please excuse my eccentric behavior for next ten minutes because I am going to show you off and gush.”

Steve chuckled and the nervous feeling turned into nothing more than a flutter in his stomach. Tony stepped out of the car, the press began to scream his name and their cameras flashed brightly. Tony turned back to Steve and held out his hand for him. Still grinning, Steve grasped his soulmate’s hand and let him help him out of the car. The press screamed louder and the flashes from the cameras grew brighter, especially when Tony wound his arm around Steve’s waist.

Tony led him to the lineup of press. They paused to pose for pictures. They wrapped their arms behind each other and they both hooked their hands on the other’s waist. They smiled and ignored all the questions being thrown their way.

“Want to blow their minds?” Tony murmured to him from the corner of his mouth.

“...You know, technically I am not supposed to do anything inappropriate while in uniform," Steve murmured to his mate, knowing exactly what he intended. 

"So what was earlier when we were alone?" Tony whispered in a counter argument.

Steve's smile widened for the cameras as his real smile shone through. He whispered into Tony's ear, "That was me foolishly getting lost in the moment as I shared my first kiss with my soulmate."

"So you can't get lost in the moment for a twenty-third kiss or so?" Tony teased. 

Steve turned his head to look down at his mate and murmured, "You are so bad at following the rules." He sighed, "Just one quick one."

Tony grinned as he grasped the corner of his jaw and guided him down to his face. They kissed lightly and Tony’s earlier words became prophetic. The world around them blew up with light and voices and Steve’s own heart seemed to explode from his bliss.

The parted slowly and grinned happily at each other. They only had eyes for one another and the rest of the world faded in the background.

Tony pinched his chin and stepped out of the moment to face the photographers and wave to them. Steve turned back to them too, wearing a happier smile than he had been before their kiss.

When Steve could no longer see thanks to the flash of the cameras, they were led away from the photo zone and made their way to the entrance and through the remaining reporters.

Needless to say, the reporters were literally dancing on their toes and looked like they wanted to jump them. If they hadn’t been assigned spots to question, they probably would have pounced…

Most wanted to know from Steve: “ _Who are you_?”

“He’s my soulmate, obviously,” Tony would reply for him and they’d move on, both smothering chuckles at the reporters’ expense.

With all the continuous flashing lights and yelling, Steve’s sense of time was somewhat fractured so he couldn’t even begin to guess how long they were out there. In time, they reached the doors to the fundraiser, but even there they were instantly the center of attention as everyone seemed to be looking at them.

“No reporters in here,” Tony murmured. He tapped Steve’s ribbons and said, “But there are a bunch of veterans here so don’t be surprised if you’re swarmed soon and start asking about these. Do you wanna bet how long it’ll take for people to figure out you’re Cap?”

“I say twenty minutes,” Clint stated, stepping up to them in a sharp purple suit from the crowd with Natasha at his side.

“I give it fifteen,” Natasha replied, looping her arm through Clint’s. She wore a long black gown with matching elbow length gloves.

Steve smiled at the other two Avengers. They arrived in the car after them but had been able to squeeze through the press without a problem.

The entire team attended as support with the exception of Bruce was back at the Tower with his soulmate, Betty. Their relationship had been strained over the years as Bruce had been scared to be close to her with the Hulk looming in the background. With his move to New York, he had reached out to her and they were rekindling what they once had.

“Ten minutes,” Tony countered.

“I _hope_ it’ll last a half hour at least,” Steve sighed.

Arm-in-arm, Steve and Tony stepped away from the door and the other two kept in step with them. As they stepped into the crowd, Tony murmured, “Winner gets to sit out on the next Avengers press meeting.”

“Yes!” Clint hissed, “You are going down!”

Steve rolled his eyes at his teammates antics but was quickly distracted by the fire commissioner and the mayor coming up to Tony and him. Clint and Nat slipped away snickering at their expense.

It actually took 50 minutes for everyone at the fundraiser to eventually realize Steve was Captain America and, even then, most were too shocked to process it or disbelieved it. He saw many on their phones, holding up their devices, comparing Steve’s face to the old black and white ones the internet had of him from World War II.

Even with none of them guessing the right time, Tony decided to award the win to the absentee Bruce (who obviously could not handle big crowds or reporters) and the rest of them agreed.

Steve tried to stay by Tony’s side but he kept getting involved in side conversations or being pulled away. One moment he’d be standing next to Tony, talking to some of the firefighters and, the next, he’d suddenly note Tony was on the other side of the room with hundreds of people between them.

Steve slipped behind the servers’ corridor for a breather. None of the staff bothered him as they were quite busy, though most openly stared. Steve stepped back into an alcove where a forgotten sink sat. It obscured him from the staff and he leaned against the small counter with a heavy sigh in private.

This was worse than when he had toured with the USO. He would perform, do a meet-and-greet with fans that lasted an hour and be done. They had been at the fundraiser two hours and it didn’t look like it would be ending anytime soon. It was a game of conversation that he was not used to. People were trying to weed them for information or create a scandal and it was exhausting keeping up or deflecting.

“He’s still such a flirt,” a server giggled nearby.

Another laughed and said, “What do you expect from Tony Stark and _his_ _history_?”

Steve stiffened and leaned closer, while stepping nearer to the alcove wall to hide himself better. His heart began to race as he considered their words…What history were they talking about? 

“I thought he’d stop once he got his soulmate but it looks like he isn’t done sleeping around. He probably is missing _female_ company…I bet I can get his number by the end of the night.” They walked past the alcove, carrying tray laden with food and their chatter ended as they stepped out.

Steve had never considered looking Tony up online until that moment and it sickened him. When he had first met him, he did not know how to use the internet and he trusted the file SHIELD gave him told him all he needed about his mate…but was there more? Did Tony truly sleep around?...And was he really flirting with others to…to find someone to sleep with?...like a woman?

Steve felt ill. He shouldn’t be thinking like this. It couldn’t be true. Tony was so excited that Steve wanted to date him. And Steve knew him well enough that he knew Tony wouldn’t fake what they shared…

He stepped out of the servers’ corridor and back into the main room. He saw the server walking toward Tony and he watched with dread when she reached Tony’s side. She whispered something in his ear and turned to her with a smile. Whatever his reply was made the server laugh. She slipped from his side and he watched her walk away with a sultry smirk.

It was the same smile Steve had seen when Tony flirted with him.

Steve turned away and the ill feeling in his stomach threatened to expel.

Steve hurried away, trying to get distance between him and the scene. He ran into the bar and collapsed at the counter. Ever since Bucky died, he never wanted a drink to intoxicate more than he did at that moment.

 _It couldn't be true_. 

He ordered a beer anyways and nursed it as he took his phone out of his pocket. He opened the internet app and typed in Tony’s name in the search bar. After scrolling through all the drama about him and Tony being mated, Steve found older articles on his mate.

He bit down on his lip and was about to open the article when…

“Don’t do that.”

Steve jumped and guiltily looked at Natasha as she slid into the barstool beside him. She ordered a Dirty Martini and then turned her full attention on Steve.

Steve slipped his phone in his pocket and embarrassedly murmured, “There was this woman and I overheard…”

“You’ll overhear a lot,” she interrupted him. The bartender brought over the drink and she accepted it with a nod. She waited until the man walked away and asked, “What was it?”

“A server said Tony was flirting with her and she bet she could get his number and she…” Steve paused, hurt just thinking about it, and then said, “I saw him smiling at her the same way he does when he flirts with me and…”

“He’s grown so used to flirting that it’s probably ingrained in his soul and he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. Don’t overthink it. He’s been looking for you for decades…Don’t doubt he’d throw that all away for a dizzy waitress.”

Steve sighed heavily and unconvincingly whispered, “I know…”

“Tony had it hard before you…” Natasha stated. She took a sip of her drink and asked, “Did you know he made a program for soulmates to find each other faster?”

Steve nodded, it had been in the files SHIELD provided. He sullenly took a drink of his beer, wishing he could feel even a little bit tipsy.

“He started working on it in his teens, after his parents died. Knowing him, he probably did it so he wouldn’t be alone. He wanted you but you never appeared.” All the upset Steve had been feeling toward Tony vanished and he stared at Natasha with wide eyes to express his shock. She continued, “When he was still alone, he did stupid things, trying to fill that empty space that you were supposed to fill. He isn’t doing it anymore. He hasn’t for years so do not look at that dark period in his life and use it to judge him now.”

Steve dropped his head feeling shameful despite the uncontrollable circumstances.

Tony was his soulmate. he should have trusted him instead of jumping to conclusions. they both had pasts...Hell, Steve denied he was gay for years. Neither of them were perfect...

Natasha reached into the folds of her dress and pulled out an ancient looking flask. She unscrewed it and carefully put a single, tiny drop into her martini.

She held it out to him in offering and explained her odd measuring by saying, “This is Asgardian liquor. Thor gave it to me, it’s the strongest stuff I’ve ever had.”

Steve had yet to meet the alien Avenger but he read his file and heard humorous stories from the others. Apparently, Thor was back in his home world at the moment.

Steve took it and tentatively tried a sip. He instantly felt tipsy and he groaned, “Fantastic.”

Natasha nodded and held up her drink, dryly saying, “Cheers. To soulmates with baggage.”

“To soulmates with baggage,” Steve echoed with a small grin, tapping the flask to her martini. They both threw back a shot’s worth and hissed together as it burned its way down.

Steve played with the flask in his hand and he thought about Natasha’s words and Tony. Steve had missed so much from his mate’s life but he still felt uneasy.

Natasha silently faced the bar and took another sip of her drink. She eventually murmured, “My own soulmate also had a rocky past. I didn’t understand it at first. It scared and angered me. For a long time, it caused upset between us and…I wish now that I hadn’t wasted that time we had with such petty grievances…”

Steve slipped a glance at her arm but her implant was hidden beneath her gloves…he actually had _never_ seen it exposed. She was speaking in past-tense, but he had thought…

He whispered, “I thought Clint…”

“I’m his ‘beard,’ per say,” she replied with a chuckle. “I pretend to be his soulmate so his actual mate and children could be kept safe from this life.”

“So your mate?”

Natasha’s smirk melted off her face. She stared expressionlessly at her drink with its the clear liquid and green olives. She wordlessly drew down her glove to show him her zeroed implant.

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispered. Her wordless action was enough to inform him that her soulmate was dead.

“Don’t make my mistake, Cap,” she stated, finally raising her gaze to his. Maybe it was thanks to the Asgardian liquor, but Steve was able to see pain in her usually stoic face.

“I won’t,” Steve promised. His emotions were turbulent with this new knowledge about Natasha and imagining himself in her shoes.

Natasha sighed and leaned into his side. She whispered, “Promise not to tell SHIELD I talked to you about my mate?”

“I promise,” Steve whispered. Then because he couldn’t help himself, he asked, “…Why is it a secret?”

“My mate was the reason I deflected to SHIELD in the first place. Our masters had killed him when he refused to fight for them anymore,” Natasha replied in a small voice. She was still leaning into his side so he could not see her face as she informed him, “SHIELD doesn’t want anyone to know he existed. He was Russia’s ‘Winter Soldier’ and he was a super soldier like you.”

Steve tensed, his mind racing with questions, and she seemed to have sensed them as she silenced them all by saying, “His mind was fragile. He could barely remember his past and he did not know how he had attained his power. SHIELD doesn’t want anyone to know someone else had managed to make a super soldier.”

She finished her martini and placed the glass on the counter in front of her. She made no move to lift herself from his shoulder and Steve took another sip from the flask.

Steve finally wrapped his arm around her shoulders and quietly asked, “What was his name?”

“…James,” she whispered her voice sounded small as it was being crushed by the weight of all her grief and lost years. “His name was James.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmm hmmm hmmm. What could have possibly happened? Ya'll will find out next time! ;D
> 
> Also, it looks like there's going to be one more chapter of the couples stories being split and then they'll finally converge! 
> 
> Next time, Ch. 5: Forging Ultimatums


	5. Forging Ultimatums

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder for Graphic Violence and AU tag! This isn't going to be like Captain America: Winter Solider or other Cap cannon! :)

When Steve woke up, he had an atrocious hangover and was laying in the middle of a pile of the slumbering bodies of his friends.

He groggily lifted his head to look at the others but just as soon dropped it, sealing his eyes shut, when his headache worsened. Curled into his side was Tony and Steve tightened his hold onto his soulmate. Tony sighed and his hand shifted slightly on Steve’s chest.

If he was remembering last night correctly, the pressure on his other arm was where Natasha was sleeping; Bruce was sleeping snuggled up to his mate, Betty, on one end of the couch; Clint was laying on the other end of the couch by Steve, with Steve’s tie wrapped around his head, which was currently tickling Steve’s forehead; and, last but not least, the mighty Thor was curled into a happy ball in the space between Steve and Natasha’s legs.

Last night was a blur of drinking, laughing, and fun.

He remembered that he and Natasha gotten atrociously drunk off the Asgardian liquor before both Tony and Clint finally found them. Both of their partners had also drank but were still of sound mind to collectively decide it was time to leave and led them out the back where Happy had picked them up. 

Steve had been embarrassingly apologetic and loving to his soulmate. Tony did not know why and did not take advantage but Steve remembered him whispering about teasing Steve later. They both cuddled in the back of the limo and were more touchy than they usually were. 

They hadn’t gone straight to the Tower, however, and drove out to an open field. There they called out to Thor, asking for more Asgardian liquor. They did it more for a laugh than for actual results…but Thor showed up in a bright beam of light wearing an equally bright smile and holding two sealed barrels. From there they went to the Tower and the rest of the night was iffy.

One thing was for sure, Steve was _never_ drinking again.

Everyone was currently breathing softly with the exception of Thor who was snoring lightly. Steve breathed evenly, willing his headache away. It faded somewhat but there was a pressure behind his forehead.

He needed to make Bucky’s old hangover remedy.

Steve sat up slowly, trying not to wake the others up. Natasha simply rolled to her side and freed his one arm but Tony grumbled and buried his face deeper into Steve’s side. Steve carefully unlocked Tony’s arms and placed him on the pillow Steve had been laying on. He ran his fingers through his hair once and then slipped into the kitchen.

Luckily, Tony had the largest fridge and pantry known to mankind and he always kept it well stocked to feed the team and a super soldier with a very high metabolism. Steve pulled out all of the bread, coffee, eggs, and bacon and got to work.

He’d changed out of his stiff uniform the night before so he didn’t have to throw anything on to protect his clothes from the bacon grease stains. He may have hung his dress uniform up nicely but his current clothing consisted of boxers and an undershirt. He’d changed enough times in front of the Avengers into his Captain America uniform though that his undressed state did not really bother him. He grinned to himself as he realized this was just another sign of him belonging with these people..his family.

He cooked and prepared the coffee with military efficiency and gave the meal as much attention as he would give battle plans. It helped in distracting him from his headache.

As he was turning over the scrambled eggs, he heard Tony mumble from behind him, “What are you? A Disney prince?”

Steve turned to find his mate staring at him with sleepy eyes. The toaster dinged and he hopped over to it to change out the bread and Tony snorted, “I’m mated to the male version of Snow White.”

Steve grinned. He actually saw that movie when it was first released in 1937. For once, he understood the reference and he replied, “Shush, Grumpy, and eat some food.”

He tossed the toast on a plate and handed it to his grinning mate. Tony took the plate and stood up on the tips of his toes to steal a quick kiss.

For a moment, the life Steve had dreamed of flashed before his eyes. There would never be a picket fence at the Tower but, he had Tony and they could adopt kids if they wanted too. Steve wouldn’t mind making breakfast every morning for a tired, grumpy mate and a kid or two emulating their father’s grumpiness.

“I’m not Grumpy. If you’re Snow White, then I’m Prince Charming.” Tony grabbed some jelly out of the fridge and when he turned back around he spotted Steve’s expression and asked, “What’s got you smiling like that?”

Steve shrugged and pressed a quick kiss onto Tony’s lips before rushing over to save the scrambled eggs.

Tony walked over to the coffee pot chuckling to himself and shaking his head.

The rest of the team ventured into the room. Everyone looked tired, hungover, and were shuffling their feet with the exception of Thor who was smiling as brightly as he had been the night prior.

Once everyone was eating and the food was all cooked, did Steve finally let himself try out Bucky’s hangover remedy. He poured himself a cup of coffee and then cracked an egg on its rim.

He mixed in the egg and his mate watched with a horrified expression.

Tony demanded, “What on Earth are you doing to that defenseless coffee??”

Steve grinned at Tony and replied, “Bucky used to swear by this and I am going to test it out...Though he did add a pinch of salt but even that’s taking it too far for me!”

“Consuming raw eggs to fix a hangover was an urban myth,” Bruce murmured, pointedly not looking at Steve’s mug, looking a little unwell. Betty rubbed soothingly on Bruce’s back, sparing her mate a pitying look.

“Hell, I’m going for it,” Clint murmured, reaching for one of the few remaining eggs.

“I wish to partake as well!” Thor announced. He downed the last of his coffee and rushed over to the pot for a fresh cup.

“All of you are blasphemers!” Tony hissed, he elbowed Natasha, who was sitting at his side and demanded, “You aren’t going to join them too, are you?”

Natasha was staring at Steve’s mug and Steve stopped before taking a sip when he saw her expression. All the blood had drained from her face and she finally gasped, “D-Did you say a pinch of salt?”

\---

James added a pinch of salt and Natasha made gagging noises.

“I remember it working,” James informed her as he mixed it all together.

“To make you vomit maybe,” she replied. “I will suffer the headache and nausea for another hour or so. You, on the other hand, shall enjoy being sick the rest of the day.”

James took a large gulp of his concoction just to show her she was wrong, only to instantly clutch his mouth to keep from upchucking the contents. He ran to the sink, muffling his heaving as his breakfast threatened to come up, and Natasha laughed at his expense. He spit it out and gagged until every little bit was out.

“I hope you enjoyed that,” he grumbled from where he was hunched over at the sink.

“The additional pounding in my head from laughing was worth it,” she sighed, rubbing her forehead.

They both fell silent as James washed out his mouth. James’s mind irrevocably returned to last night, when he and Natasha shared a large bottle of vodka and he revealed his American origins.

He wasn’t surprised by her upset or anger. It was ingrained in them by the Academy to hate the United States. The night was tense and the vodka was the only thing that had united them.

James slept on the couch. Natasha did not ask him to but she also did not ask him to return to the bedroom. 

It was the first night in a long time since they did not sleep together or make love. It resulted in a restless night for James and he wondered if it was the same for her as well. 

James drank some of the water from the sink to clean out his mouth and settle his stomach. He pushed himself with a loud huff and then crossed back to where he had dropped his mug and where Natasha sat. He bent down and picked up the pieces of the mug slowly. He finally bucked up the courage and stated, “I love you, you know?”

He paused in his clean up and looked up to her from where he kneeled. She stared at him blankly, hiding her emotions, but James could read her. She had tells on the way she clenched her fists and held his gaze.

She got up from the table and left him alone in the kitchen. He dropped his head as sadness overwhelmed him.

He wanted to run after her and scream that nothing needed to change. It shouldn’t matter he was once American! They were still soulmates. They still cared for each other. _He loved her_.

But he didn’t go after her.

He mutely cleaned up the mug and the remains of his failure of a hangover cure.

She left the apartment to go to ballet practice without a word. He sat on the couch and didn’t move from it as he waited the hours it took for her to come back.

When she did, she jolted to a stop when her eyes fell on him. She dropped her bag with a sigh and crossed the room. She stood in front of him and demanded, “How did you deflect from the Americans? Does the Academy know? Do the Americans know of you?”

“…I don’t remember,” James murmured. “All I remember is Steve and our hometown. There were so many tall buildings, and cars, and every couple of blocks you’d see an American flag hanging somewhere…Everyone spoke English. There was no Academy…No Hydra…”

“Hydra?” She perked up on the mention and stated, “You’ve never mentioned them before.”

James rubbed his forehead and replied, “Maybe it was from another memory…”

Natasha sighed heavily and sat beside him on the couch. He silently leaned into her side and counted it as a minor victory when she didn’t push him away. She stated, “You understand how much more dangerous this is? What if you’re an American sleeper agent? What if the Academy finds out? They’ll send their top assassins to kill us both.”

“What if I don’t want anything to do with the Academy anymore,” he whispered. Natasha tensed beside him and he continued, “Once this assignment is over, I have to return to my master and they will wipe my mind again.” He grasped her hand and gasped, “I _can’t_ let them take you from me, especially like that.”

Natasha curled her fingers into his but was silent for a long time before she finally stated, “Leaving the Academy isn’t so simple.”

“We can go to America,” he whispered, already imagining taking Natasha down the same streets he and Steve ran down.

“But what if you deflected from the Americans? They’ll kill you before either of us could ask for sanctuary, and _that’s if we even make it that far_ ,” Natasha stated, her hold on his hand became crushing. “The Academy would hunt us down to the ends of the Earth.”

“We have to take the chance.”

Natasha was frowning deeply but she burrowed into his side as if she were trying to stay there forever.

James murmured, “We can leave Friday. I will make my weekly call to my master, update him on your progress and he won’t expect to hear back from me for another week. We can use that time to escape.”

“If we’re caught-.”

“We’ll go down fighting…together,” he replied.

Natasha looked up to him, her eyes wet. He’d never seen her cry before and he cupped her face worriedly. She cupped his cheek too and whispered, “You promise we’ll be together until the end?”

A dark promise but it was one that made him smile. He pressed his forehead to hers and promised, “I won’t leave your side until my dying breath.”

\---

The rest of the week had been difficult. Natasha had accepted she would learn about James in stages as his memories slowly returned. But his unknown history as an American unnerved her. Her deepest darkest fear was that one day James would remember everything, remember becoming the Winter Solider was never his choice, and he’d realize that he hated her for what she was: an agent of the Academy, the organization that dehumanized him. 

She loved him but was scared of losing him and irrationally angry with him for being an American because he might leave her because of what the Academy had done to him. She imagined him associating her with the Academy and it made her ill.

Nonetheless, they tried to escape.

The Academy found them just as they were crossing the border.

They were ambushed and, when it looked hopeless, they both turned their guns on each other. Natasha’s aim was unsteady because her hands were shaking but she was able to clearly state for the first and last time, “I love you, James.”

He smiled sadly and cocked his gun, pressing the barrel to her forehead. He whispered, “I love you too, Nat.”

Before either one of them could pull the trigger, someone shot the gun out of Natasha’s hand and another yelled, “Stand down!”

The command made James stiffen and, with wide, fearful eyes, he lowered his weapon.

“My master,” he gasped in a taut explanation.

The team that had ambushed them, stepped back, and a tall figure came forward.

Natasha ignored the pain in her hand and ripped the gun out of James’s lax grip and pointed it at the monster that was his master. Using monster as a descriptor was perfect for the man, and not just for the horrors he put James through, but also because of his appearance. He had no face – no skin. His head was just a skull, a blood red skull that was grinning manically at them.

“Disarm her, Soldier.”

James leapt on her and tore the gun out of her hand before she could fire.

Natasha made no move to stop him. His brainwashing was so deep that he couldn’t help it even if he personally did not want to.

She wanted nothing more than to die right there. Everything was hopeless. The Academy was probably going to torture them to death. She was never going to see James after today.

“On your knees,” the monster ordered.

James dropped to his knees immediately. Natasha held her bleeding hand to her chest and lowered herself more slowly. She reached out to her mate with her good hand and he clasped her hand tightly.

The monster cocked his head to the side as he stared at them and murmured, “What is this?”

“We’re soulmates, sir,” James replied stiffly in explanation.

“Ah, that is why you tried to run,” his master replied. “I was told by your previous master that the timer on your arm was a fake…apparently, he lied. We’ll have to shorten his retirement…” He monster looked to one of his subordinates. The masked woman nodded and left, to kill James’ prior master most likely.

The master stepped up to them and murmured, “Now what will I do with you two?”

James’ hold on her tightened exponentially. She returned the pressure it was a reminder for both of them that they were not alone in this.

The master held up his hand and one of his minions placed a gun in his hand. He cocked it and then pointed it at Natasha. James jerked but did not make any move to stop his master. Yet, when his master saw the twitch, he moved his gun to point it at James and her heart clenched.

They may have made grandiose statements about dying together but actually doing so broke her heart. She wanted to grow old with James and die sleeping comfortably in her bed…not like this.

“The only reason I let you live was because you were an obedient dog, but here you are, chewing through your leash. I should put you down and train the bitch to take your place instead,” the monster hissed.

All of the blood leeched out of James’ face and he gasped, “Please, don’t. She was only doing what I asked. It was all me since the beginning. _I made her_ -!”

His master slapped him across the face with the gun, hard enough to break bone. Natasha hissed when she heard his cheek bone give. James fell into her and she cradled him protectively.

“Sit up you worthless machine,” he hissed. She glared at James’ master, wanting to attack him for how he treated her mate, but she did not knowing it was futile...

James sat up. The side of his face was already swelling. She held his arm tightly, desperately wanting to pull him back into her arms.

The monster circled them until he was behind James. He commanded, “Look at her and tell her the truth. Tell her she was a distraction.”

James turned his head to fully face her and hollowly stated, “You were a distraction.”

Natasha cupped the side of his face that was uninjured and stared into his eyes. His gaze revealed his true feelings: his despair for their fate and his love for her. He never thought she was a distraction.

“Tell her you never loved her.”

He whispered, “I was never…” He took a deep breath and then pressed his forehead to hers and stated with conviction, as if to erase the first half of the sentence, “ _in love with_ _you_.”

“Tell her you will never see her again.”

“I will never see you again,” James whispered, his voice breaking. His eyes told her this statement alone was true and how much he regretted it. She hoped he could read her as easily because she felt the same.

“Tell her I am going to break her just like I did you.”

“He will break you, just like he did me,” James gasped, the words sounded like he could barely tolerate the thought.

“Tell her what I am going to do next is all her fault.”

His master pressed the gun to the base of James’ skull. Natasha had been holding back her tears until that moment. She stared into James’ eyes, soaking up every last second they had as her eyes blurred.

James started to breath shallowly. He grasped her tightly and, through gritted teeth, hissed, “This is – _not_ your fau-.”

His master did not let him finish and pulled the trigger. Hot blood splashed her front and James slumped forward into her lap.

“Insolent dog,” the monster hissed, kicking him aside.

Natasha wanted to scream but the breath was frozen in her throat. She went to touch her soulmate but two soldiers stepped forward and grabbed both of her arms, dragging her away. James slipped off her lap and did not move as they took her away.

He promised they would be together.

But even promises could not escape the pull of death.

She watched his body. He didn’t move. He didn’t breathe. He was dead. And she was alone again but, it was so much more worse because she now had the knowledge of love and James.

 _James_.

She dropped her head and heaved shallowly. The world was spinning around her and her heart was becoming heavier with every beat.

James was gone.

Her brave, sweet, and loving super soldier was dead.

The monster followed them outside and she heard him ask, “She was the one he was training from the Black Widow program?”

“Yes, sir.”

She heard his footsteps as he approached and then he roughly picked her head up by her hair. He murmured, “Well, let us continue your training, my dear.”

At that moment, Natasha knew she would never rest until the monster was dead and his organization with him.

James was dead but she would avenge him.  

\---

The Red Skull had one ambition in his life: to be superior.

If something was better, he either surpassed it or he destroyed it.

It was with such an ambition that he became the leader of Hydra and a super soldier.

When Dr. Erskine created a new serum and another super soldier, he killed the good doctor, obviating the knowledge of the serum, and then destroyed his super soldier, leaving him to die in the icy Atlantic. This made the Red Skull the only super soldier thereby the strongest man on the planet.

The Red Skull had barely survived but the fact that he was still standing while the Captain, with the "updated" serum, was buried beneath ice and water, never to rise again made him pleasurably happy, but, better yet, obviously he was the more superior super soldier.

The Tesseract had transported him back to the base where it was last housed. The base had since then been destroyed.

By the time the Red Skull returned to one of the last standing Hydra bases, the war was over, Hitler was dead, and Germany as defeated. The Red Skull railed what remained of his forces and began to rebuild. It would take decades to get back to their former strength, but he was a patient man, and he knew if he wanted to continue to be superior, he had to be quiet, else his organization would falter under a powerful country’s might. But that did not mean his organization was weak. He’d pity the man who would ever insinuate such a lie. No, Hydra may have had its head cut off but it was regrowing two more.

The only reason he was able to do this _demeaning_ sneaking around without revealing himself was with the knowledge that the was the only remaining super soldier and thereby the strongest man on the planet.

The Red Skull came across another super soldier. The man was the long departed Captain’s companion but he had been broken and molded into a puppet. The man was weak whereas the Red Skull’s was still his own. It was the only reason he let the man live. The Red Skull took pleasure in ordering him to do things that would make Erkine's soft heart break.

But, when he tried to defy the Red Skull he crushed both the Winter Soldier and his mate. The woman eventually escaped his grasp and he placed her on the top of his kill list. But, SHIELD protected her and the Red Skull could not take and action unless he wanted the spy organization to take note of Hydra.

His only consolation was that the Soldier had survived his gun shot and she thought her mate was dead. He had heard living on without one’s mate was a fate worse than death and he hoped she enjoyed living the torture.

He planned to have her mate personally kill her when Hydra reemerged.

Over the years, Hydra grew and, like a tree root, it found its way into governments or other powerful organizations by meandering its way into cracks.

The endgame was to expand those cracks until they crumpled the entire infrastructure…

That was, until the United States’ new Captain America turned out to be Dr. Erskine’s Captain.

His rage burned deep as he confirmed it for himself. Videos of the Captain and his soulmate flooded the airways. The man hadn’t changed any since the day he last saw him and he looked so _happy_ with his mate. The Red Skull had aged in the years since the war, it was slower than a normal human’s but he was now older and weaker than he was in his prime.

In other words, he was no longer the strongest.

He watched the videos on multiple screens in the main conference room of his base.

An attendant came in to deliver the daily reports, only to have his throat crushed by the Red Skull in his ire.

He dropped the body as soon as the man was dead and it was removed an hour later. His subordinates knew to not bother him then and he was left alone to stew in his anger.

That superiority he always prized was slipping out of his fingers. Suddenly, Hydra’s success was not that important…but destroying the Captain and every shred of his humanity was...

Yes, that was perfect. He would cripple the Captain by using that humanity he possessed. The Captain and Erskine thought the Captain better than the Red Skull because the Captain had “heart.”

The Red Skull grinned to himself as his plan began to take form. He would use the Captain’s capacity to love and care to destroy him. Only when the man's humanity and heart was completely destroyed and he was begging for death, would the Red Skull finally kill him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D
> 
> Next time, Ch. 6: Exchanging Love for Misery
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


	6. Exchanging Love for Misery

It had been a month since the fundraiser and a ritual had been born. Breakfast turned into a team affair (minus the Advil needed for everyone’s hangovers and Steve’s atrocious “hangover” cure).

It was weird at first for Tony. He had grown used to eating whenever he felt the urge but now he had a structured schedule. It was weird…but it was a good weird.

The weirdest one was Natasha, who after learning about the contents of Steve’s “cure,” would sometimes watch Steve with a peculiar expression.

Who knew salt was her niche?

But none of this weirdness, however, could distract Tony from what was most important: Steve.

As if on cue, Steve appeared in his workshop to pick him up for the team breakfast. They both grinned when their eyes met.

“You’re filthy,” Steve stated with mirth. He rubbed some grease off of Tony’s cheek and Tony took the opportunity to grab his soulmate by the hips and drag him into his embrace.

Tony rubbed his face into Steve’s belly as his hands squeezed his ass and murmured, “You like me when I’m dirty.”

He expected Steve to squeak or jerk in surprise at his ass grab, instead, he leaned deeper into Tony’s hold and his fingers dug into Tony’s shoulders. Tony glanced up at him and saw Steve was as red as a tomato but his teeth were playing with his bottom lip with obvious interest.

Tony slowly drew one of his hands over the fabric of Steve’s jeans and then pressed down into the deepest cleft of his ass. Steve bit down on his lip with a hiss but pressed harder into Tony. Tony could feel the beginnings of his mate’s erection pressing into his chest.

Breakfast was all but forgotten as Tony stared up at Steve. He slowly yet deliberately kissed Steve’s stomach, somewhere around his mate’s bellybutton if he was guessing correctly.

“I want to make you dirty,” Tony whispered, nuzzling the parting between Steve’s shirt and jeans with the lower half of his face.

Steve slid down Tony’s body and sat on Tony’s lap, pressing their hardening cocks together with a moan. Tony dragged his fingers into Steve’s scalp and swallowed Steve’s moans by pressing his mouth into his lips. 

Steve’s fingers dug into his shoulders and Tony groaned in frustration, wanting his mate’s hands elsewhere. He dragged his hands down Steve chest and slipped them back behind him. He dug his fingers into Steve’s ass, pushing his hips toward his as Tony thrust up. Rubbing them together roughly and hard.

“ _Christ_ ,” Steve gasped into his mouth.

“Touch me, Steve,” Tony groaned into his mouth. Steve had been growing bolder since their first kiss but this was the first time their erections had come into contact like this. And, _jeez_ , Tony couldn’t really think straight but he was absolutely positive they needed to continue.

Steve rubbed his hips into Tony’s and gradually drew his hands down Tony’s chest and under his shirt. They went back to kissing but Steve gasped between the breaths they took between each kiss, “We…are…g-going…to…be…late.”

“I’ll eat you instead,” Tony stated and bit Steve’s bottom lip to prove a point.

Steve laughed and kissed him deeply. They drew apart, all smiles, and hands tracing each other’s bodies. Steve pressed his forehead to Tony’s and whispered, “I’ve never been happier than right now.”

Tony’s heart skipped a beat and he felt like he wanted to clap, laugh, and kiss Steve all at once. Caressing his lips lightly against Steve’s mouth, he whispered, “Me too. I’d be a wreck without you so don’t you dare go cliché on me.”

“What are you talking about?” Steve asked, rubbing his nose against Tony’s.

“Whenever a couple is happy, something happens to make them unhappy or break them up,” Tony explained.

Steve rolled his eyes but, when his eyes landed back onto Tony’s, his eyes sparkled like the ocean on a sunny day. Steve whispered, “Then I will just have to make you happier than you are now every day.”

Grinning excitedly, Tony leaned back against the bench, pulling Steve down with him, and stated, “You may proceed.”  

His soulmate giggled excitedly and then pressed his body into Tony. Tony wrapped his legs around Steve’s waist and his mouth found its way back to Steve’s.

Steve pressed his hips into Tony’s, imitating sex, and Tony rose up to meet him. Tony’s hands found their way under Steve’s shirt like they usually did whenever they made out. This time, however, Steve paused in kissing him to take off his shirt.

As Steve removed the shirt and tossed it aside, Tony stared up at his soulmate’s perfect torso and felt himself begin to salivate. Tony’s hands have trailed beneath Steve’s shirt multiple times and, just recently, had they started to take them off when they were alone. They were both bashful at first but, at that moment, after Steve tossed his shirt aside and looked down at Tony, he was anything but shy. Tony grasped Steve’s hips, digging his fingers into his soulmate’s warm flesh. And he stated, “We are going to be sooooo late for breakfast.”

“Jarvis, tell the team to start without us,” Steve commanded.

Tony moved as quickly as possible, pulling off his own shirts. He wore one of his old band shirts with a long-sleeved shirt beneath. Steve helped him only until the shirts got tangled in his useless arms (he was never wearing layers again) and then his wicked soulmate started to kiss and lick him. Steve was trailing his mouth down Tony’s body while he madly pulled at his shirt to free his arms. 

“This is so cruel!” Tony hissed and then hissed again when Steve experimentally licked his nipple. Steve glanced up at him questionably and Tony growled, “It’s crueler to stop!” Steve grinned and sucked his nipple into his mouth.

Tony released one arm and, with his shirt still partially on, he grasped Steve’s hips and thrust his hips into his. Steve stapled his elbows on either side of Tony’s head and met his thrusts with his own. They stared at each other as they gasped shallowly and rubbed their sexes together in a clothed but amazing friction.

Steve came, biting his lip, trying to muffle his needy groan.

Tony reached into his pants and touched himself, wanting to come with his mate. Steve pressed his forehead to Tony’s and cupped him outside of his jeans and helped rub him off.

Needless to say, Tony came fairly quickly after that.

Gasping and panting in each other’s air. They were staring at each other like they had never really seen each other until that moment.

“I want to make love to you,” Steve whispered. His hand was still on Tony’s crotch and was slowly rubbing it. Steve’s body moved with his hand, like a wave being pulled by the tide…and apparently Tony’s dick was the moon.

Tony rubbed his crotch into Steve’s hand and murmured, “I can’t possibly rise to the occasion right now, but later, I might be able to assist you in that.”

“Well thanks, that’s nice of you,” Steve laughed.

They kissed and Tony broke it by murmuring, “We need to change. I am not going to go to breakfast with come in my pants.”

Steve huffed a chuckle into his mouth but rose off him and murmured, “Alright.”

Tony pricked an eyebrow and lightly grasped Steve’s hips as he asked, “Want to join me for a quick shower?”

Steve had just rubbed him off and solicited him for sex but, upon Tony’s suggestion, he turned beet red. Tony laughed and humped his hips under Steve’s teasingly.

“I always wondered what you looked like under all that grime,” Steve replied and his flush stretched down from his face to his neck at his own boldness.

Tony couldn’t wait to see how far down that blush could go.

Unsurprisingly, they missed breakfast altogether.

Steve was all big eyes and quiet as they undressed. They never had been naked in front of each other and Tony felt a little nervous too.

They both were wearing loose clothing so undressing was quick but they both paused to take in each other’s nude forms. Tony had seen Steve naked before as he was defrosting but seeing him like this: his raw strength, his vulnerable gaze, and even his half hard cock, showing his arousal _for_ _Tony_ …Tony felt blown away.

He was the first to reach out and touch Steve. He ran the tips of his fingers down Steve’s chest, over his abdominal muscles, and just barely brushing his cock. Steve shivered but leaned into his touch.

Tony grinned and stepped back into the shower stall, murmuring, “Come here, beloved.”

Jarvis turned on the water to Tony’s preferred temperature without his asking so, when Steve entered, Tony was already soaking wet.

Steve ignored the soap and shampoo and pushed Tony into the tiled wall and pressed their bodies together.

They did not really wash in Tony’s shower but kissed and explored each other slowly, mapping out each other’s bodies with their hands and mouths. It was one of the most erotic experiences in Tony’s life.

Tony couldn’t get it up (which was frustrating as hell and he was already envisioning little blue pills in his future) but Steve was hard as a rock. So Tony decided it would be the perfect opportunity to introduce Steve to oral sex.

Tony should have done it sooner.

Steve was sitting on the tiled seat in the shower, unable to stand as Tony kneeled between his legs. Steve’s hands were both in his hair and he was holding him like he was the most precious thing on Earth. That alone blew Tony’s mind but adding in the mewling gasps Steve was making…Tony’s brain was just putty at this point.

 _Highly_ _aroused_ _putty_ but putty all the same.

Steve came for a second time into Tony’s mouth.

Tony washed out his mouth in the spray and then joined Steve on the bench. They lazily kissed until their fingertips pruned.

Steve couldn’t stop touching him after that and the feeling was mutual for Tony. He wanted to go straight to bed but Steve murmured something about feeling bad about ignoring their team. Using Jarvis, they called everyone together for lunch.

On the way to the kitchen, Tony couldn’t help his wandering hands from exploring. Steve let him until they reached the kitchen and he swatted him away just as they entered.

“Young love,” Clint sighed overdramatically from the counter as he caught sight of Tony’s grabby hands.

“Shut up, we’re older than you,” Tony replied. “Hell, Steve is older than all of us. Minus Thor, but Thor has the pure heart of a child.”

As if to prove his point, Thor grinned happily at him from the kitchen table with half of a purple Poptart sticking out of his mouth.

“I’m not older than you,” Steve stated, already in Disney prince mode already pulling some cheese out for the grilled cheese sandwiches he planned to make.

“And when’s your birth year?” Tony teased.

“I was frozen, that’s different.”

Tony walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist. He whispered, “I’ll still love you when you turn 100 in a couple of years.”

Steve stiffened in his arms and Tony realized what he let the big “L” word slip. He nervously rambled, “I well, yes, there’s that and, I’ll- you’ll be 100, and… yes.”

He started to pull away from Steve but he grasped Tony’s hands before they came apart. Steve leaned back into him and whispered, “I’ll still love you too.”

Tony returned to the embrace and pressed his face into Steve’s back to hide his ridiculously happy smile. Steve held onto his hands until he was done at the stove and his thumb lightly caressed the top of his hands. How he cooked onehanded Tony could only speculate but… his mind wasn’t on Steve’s cooking abilities.

All he could think of was just Steve and happy and… _Steve_. He was having a little brain fart but it was okay because… _Steve_.

He loved Steve and Steve loved him and they were happy.

This was exactly what he had been waiting for.

His soul implant’s countdown was for _this_ , for Steve.

Tony was still smiling like an idiot but Steve’s eyes were dancing and his smile was radiant. Tony did not care how stupidly happy he looked like because he was there in his kitchen sharing breakfast with the love of his life and they were probably going to be doing this the rest of their lives. _It sounded perfect._

They sat next to each other at the kitchen table, with the team surrounding them on both sides. He put his hand on Steve’s thigh and would sometimes move his fingers closer to the inner seam just to feel his muscles flex beneath his hand. Steve put his hand over his, encouraging him to stay and continue.

The team was loud and trading stories which led to Clint and Natasha talking about Budapest as they ate. Natasha was smiling at the story while Clint groaned and shook his head. They both contributed to the tale that was sounding more dubious by the second.

“Monkeys?” Bruce had to clarify, interrupting Clint.

“Yes, fricken monkeys! And the worst part was -!” A belled text tone went off from Clint’s hip and Clint brought the tale to a halt as he held up a single finger and stated, “Hold it!”

“It’s his soulmate’s tone,” Natasha murmured in explanation to everyone. A bittersweet smile crossed her face and she broke it by taking a bite of toast.

Clint was smiling as he slipped his phone out of his pocket, but that smile melted off his face as soon as he opened the message. It was replaced by a look of such horror, Tony’s stomach dropped and he didn’t even know what it was his friend saw.

Clint shot to his feet and frantically gasped, “We have to go! _That’s not my house_. I-I don’t know where to go! Tony trace this right now!”

He held his phone to Tony and on its screen he saw a picture of a frightened, dark haired woman with a gun held to her head. He never met her before but it had to be his soulmate, Laura.

His eyes shot back to Clint and he saw the archer was on the verge of a panic attack. Steve saw the photo too and he got to his feet, reassuring their friend, “We’ll get her, Clint.”

“It’s just a photo! There’s no demand! What do they want?? And where are my kids??? What do I say??”

Steve held out his hand to the shaking archer and said, “Let me.” Tony opened a hologram right there at the table and started to trace the phone. From the corner of his eye, he watched Steve as he took the phone.

“Be simple,” Natasha suggested, her entire body tense as if she suspected an attack at any moment. Bruce and Thor watched the exchange with equal expressions of horror

Steve nodded and said, “I’ll just put ‘What do you want?’”

He typed out the message and the team tersely waited. Clint was clutching at the air and starting to hyperventilate.

Bruce grasped his shoulder and whispered, “Breathe, Clint. You’re no use to her if you pass out.”

Clint nodded but his breathing remained somewhat shallow.

The phone rang off its bell text tone and Tony paused to hear the demands.

“They want all of us to come to an address in Ohio.”

“Tis a trap,” Thor grimly stated, getting to his feet with an air of malice.

“Ask where my kids are!” Clint gasped. Natasha grabbed his hand and the archer grabbed her offered hand with both of his.

Steve typed out the text and, when the reply came in, he grimly turned the phone to Clint, showing him a photo. Tony caught a glimpse of it and felt his stomach churn. Clint’s son and daughter were tied up and gagged and obviously crying in the photo.

Clint grasped the phone with a pained hiss. As he held it, another text came in. Clint whispered, “All it says is Ohio.”

The results came in on Tony’s end and he announced, “The phone is in Ohio too.”

Steve nodded and said, “Avengers, move out!”

The team never moved faster.

\---

Steve stood behind Tony as his mate’s hands danced across a hologram screen. He was pulling up plans to the warehouse and the surrounding area as they flew to it. Steve was silently cataloging the information and forming all possible battle plans.

Bruce was at the controls, flying for the first time out of the simulator. Their usual pilots were Clint and Natasha but, at the moment, they were sitting together with Clint anxiously wringing his hands and Natasha whispering comforting things to him. Thor flew alongside them outside.

The area was nowhere near a major city and was in a block of mostly abandoned buildings.

“What could they want?” Steve murmured.

“Money, showboating, revenge…the possibilities are endless,” Tony replied in a low whisper so Clint wouldn’t overhear them. “But whatever it is, we’ll save his family in the end. No matter what.”

Steve grasped his shoulder and nodded, hoping Tony was right. He closed eyes and prayed they wouldn’t be too late.

“…Steve,” Tony whispered. “I sent a message to SHIELD but I haven’t gotten a response. We’re on our own…”

Steve’s intuition instantly screamed something was wrong. SHIELD had them on speed dial. Steve asked, “Are their communications down?”

“It’s just silent…strangely silent. Almost as if they were on lockdown.”

Steve uneasily scanned the readings on Tony’s display. First Clint’s family and now this? What was happening?

“Keep trying to get in contact. Try Phil’s personal cell too,”

“You mean _Agent_ _Coulson_? And you have his cell??” Tony asked aghast.

Steve smiled at his soulmate and said, “Have Jarvis pull it out of my contacts.”

By the time they reached their destination, Tony had no luck with SHIELD or Phil. That gut feeling Steve had was beginning to clench painfully. He didn’t like going into a possible hostile situation without all of the facts.

The address was for an old warehouse that looked like it hadn’t been used in over a decade. They scanned the building as they flew over it but they were unable to get any sort of reading inside.

“They’ve enforced the building. The schematics the city has are useless. There could be anything in there…” Tony stated grimly.

“We have to go in all the same,” Steve stated, the terrified images of Laura and the children flashed through his mind.

Clint jumped out of the quinjet before they landed and Natasha was right behind him like she was his shadow. Bruce landed the quinjet with a large jolt and he murmured a sheepish, “Sorry.”

“Good job,” Steve said, he was still mastering the simulator, he couldn’t imagine flying the real deal, especially under such stressful conditions. Bruce smiled sadly and they exited the quinjet.

Thor landed softly beside him and stated, “There has been no movement since your transport has landed. If we are surrounded, they are not making themselves obvious.”

“We need to see what’s waiting for us inside to see what they have. We have no idea what their motive is. For all we know, as soon as we open those doors, they’ll open fire,” Steve said.

“Then I’ll open them,” Bruce volunteered. “The Hulk would save me before any harm would come to me.”

Steve nodded him forward and Bruce ran to the door.

It was left unlocked for them and he pulled it open with a grunt. The rest of the team watched, primed and ready to jump at a moment’s notice to help their friend.

The doctor peered inside and then turned to them, saying, “No one’s here but there’s a message for us.”

They cautiously followed Bruce and they stepped inside.

“None of this was one the schematics!” Tony hissed, more to himself as a curse. All of them but Thor had also seen the building’s old layout and understood his frustration. The door to the warehouse was supposed to open up to one large, open room that had once been used to store shipping containers. Instead, it opened to a small room, not much larger than a closet. The opposite wall had three doors, each with a number above. Between doors one and two, was the message Bruce was referring to.

Steve walked up to it and read aloud, “Behind door number one is Hawkeye’s mate, behind door number two are his children,” Steve paused as he personally read the next part of the note privately. Aloud, he grimly stated, “And behind door number three is a long lost friend of the Captain’s. Only two per door or they all die.”

“J, did Steve get any messages, like Clint’s, on his phone or email?” Tony demanded, thinking along the same lines as Steve as soon as he read the ominous lines. Had someone kidnapped one of the surviving Commandoes or Peggy?

“No, Sir,” Jarvis replied over Iron Man’s speakers for all of them to hear.

“They’re splitting us up,” Steve growled, ripping the note off the wall. “This is a trap.”

“I don’t care what it is! I need to save my family!” Clint hissed. “We need to split up. I won’t risk my wife or children!”

Steve sighed heavily and his gaze spanned the entire team before finally falling on Tony. He could not see Tony’s expression but he took courage from the unwavering stare of Iron Man.

“Aright…Natasha, do you know Clint’s family?” Steve asked, his mind already racing with scenarios.

“Yes,” Natasha replied tightly.

“Alright, you and Bruce go to his wife. She will need to go with someone she recognizes and trusts. Clint, you and Thor will go to your kids. They’ll need their father the most right now. And then Tony and I will find out who this ‘old friend’ of mine is. _Everyone_ , keep in touch via the communicators and I want an update every five minutes. Once we’ve secured our people, fall back to the quinjet. After an hour, fall back to the quinjet either way. We will regroup and go in a different way but we will _not_ leave your family behind.”

Clint nodded and drew one of his arrows before murmuring, “Come on, Thor.”

Clint opened the middle door, exposing a dark, narrow corridor and the two men hurried inside.

Natasha opened the first door and turned to Bruce, saying, “Follow my lead and, if you feel an inkling of the Hulk, let me know.”

Bruce adjusted his glasses nervously and nodded. They plunged into the equally dark and narrow corridor with no more than a whisper.

Tony grasped his arm and murmured, “Jarvis is checking on anyone who’d be classified as your ‘friend.’ Peggy was the first and Jarvis says she’s fine.”

Steve released a breath of relief and said, “Thank you, Tony. Hopefully my ‘old friend’ is just someone they’ve made up to get me specifically to go through this door.”

He could hear the smile in Tony’s voice as he replied, “With me teaming up with you, we’ll be indestructible. They made a big mistake!”

Steve briefly touched the side of Tony’s face shield, gifting his soulmate with a small, thankful smile, and then he pulled away and whispered, “Let’s go.”

Their corridor was like the other two: dark and narrow. Steve led the way, hunched behind his shield on one arm and holding a cocked gun in the other. Tony followed him closely with his hand repulsors glowing with a ready blast to light their way and to attack their unknown enemy.

Steve expected an ambush, even booby-traps. He was tense and battle ready. Everything was so quiet and his heart was hammering so loudly in his ears that it seemed as if it was drowning out all other sound.

But no one came after them.

The others checked in and were being delayed by masked men who shot at them. But Steve and Tony had yet to meet any opponents.

It was unnerving.

“…You don’t think this was all to draw _you_ in, do you?” Tony whispered, his voice came through their personal comm link.

Steve did not reply but his silence was more than enough of an answer for Tony, whose repulsors whined at a higher frequency for a hotter and more powerful blasting charge.

They turned a corner and Steve came to an immediate halt.

They reached a dead-end. There was another sealed door, but a body lay between it and them.

“My suit is picking up vital signs and a lot of metal. He’s packing,” Tony murmured.

Steve nodded and then nodded Tony to the left. They split with Steve circling from the right and Tony going the other direction.

The man didn’t move nor could Steve tell if he was conscious. He was lying face down and his long, dark hair was obscuring his face.

Steve and Tony stepped on either side of the man and then exchanged glances.

“Hey, Sleepyhead!” Tony called out to the man, “Wake up!”

The man did not move, even when Tony nudged him with the tip of his toe.

Steve knelt, holding his shield between himself and the stranger, and lightly touched his waist, checking for weapons.

The man moved so fast Steve had no time to react. One moment, the man was inert and, the next, he was twisting beneath Steve’s hand and kicking his shield and sending him flying into the opposite wall.

The stranger jumped to his feet and grabbed Tony’s face shield with a metal hand and ripped it off as if it were made of paper. Tony cursed and the sound of his voice, now clear without Iron Man’s speakers and protection, sent shivers down Steve’s spine.

Steve scrambled back to his feet and ran to Tony, watching with horror as the man ripped off the rest of Tony’s helmet.

Tony hit him with his blasters and Steve could smell the man’s flesh burning from where he was but the stranger moved as if he were unhurt.

Steve raised his gun and shouted, “ _Let_ _him_ _go_!”

The man twisted behind Tony and violently stabbed something into the soft space between the corner of Tony’s jaw and neck.

Tony instantly froze and, for a moment, Steve thought he was dead. The gun almost slipped out of his fingers and a scream caught in his throat.

_No, Tony - not Tony - anyone but Tony!_

But it wasn’t a knife in Tony’s throat, but, a syringe with a light blue liquid.

“Drop the gun or I inject him.”

The gun fell from Steve’s hand.

It wouldn’t have if _Bucky_ of all people hadn’t threatened Tony’s life.

“B-Bucky?” Steve gasped in a fragile voice. How was he alive – _here_ – and why did he do this to Tony??

Tony was standing as still as a statue but his eyes were wildly jumping to Steve to Bucky to the hand that held the syringe. His throat bobbed as he gulped and the syringe shifted deeper into his neck, making Tony hiss. He said nothing, probably fearing what speaking may do to the syringe.

“Bucky, how – what – what are you doing?” Steve had so many questions but the most important was this one. How was his friend alive? Why was he attacking Tony? And what was in that syringe!?

“He’s doing as I commanded.”

Steve’s eyes shot to the doorway he’d forgotten about upon Bucky’s violent actions.

The open door was immersed in shadows but there was no mistaking who it was who stood in its arch. Johann Schmidt, the Red Skull.

“Hello, Captain.”

Steve felt like the entire world was beginning to skew. First Bucky and now this monster? His mouth dropped open and he gasped with horror, “ _You_.”

“Yes, me,” Schmidt replied with a grin. He stepped into the room placing himself between Steve and the only two men in world he loved. “You didn’t think you were the only one to have survived, did you?”

Steve’s eyes snapped back to Tony. If this was orchestrated by the Red Skull then he was here for Steve. This had nothing to do with Clint or his family. It was revenge. Against him or Dr. Erskine or both of them. And it was glaringly obvious how he was going to hurt Steve.

Steve threw his shield at the Red Skull and then lunged for his fallen gun.

He was going to gain the weapon and then rip Tony out of Bucky’s hands but froze a few feet from the gun when Tony cried out sharply.

He looked to his soulmate and saw Bucky had bent Tony’s arm back at an odd angle. He only released him once Steve looked at him.

Steve’s shield rebound but flew past him as he made no move to catch it.

Schmidt got to his feet and hissed, “If you do anything like that again, _Stark is dead_. Do you understand me?”

Without looking away from his soulmate and, in a small voice, Steve gasped, “Please don’t hurt him. He has nothing to do with us.”

Schmidt smirked and then stated, “Say that again on your knees.”

Steve fell to his knees without a second thought. He breathlessly repeated, “ _Please_. He has nothing to do with us.” Steve’s eyes trailed to Bucky and his impersonal gaze. Bucky was acting like he didn’t even know him and it hurt. What happened to him? Steve’s heart broke and he stated, “Neither of them do.”

“Crawl over to me on your hands and knees and kiss my boot and I will command my solider to remove the syringe,” the Red Skull stated haughtily.

Tony clenched his fists and struggled in Bucky’s hold as he hissed, “ _Steve_ -!”

“Okay!” Steve said loud enough to stifle Tony’s struggles. If he kept moving like that, God knows what kind of damage the needle of the syringe would do to his throat or what would happen if any of that blue liquid would do if it escaped. He placed his hands on the ground and repeated, “Okay, I will do it.”

“ _Steve, don’t_ -,” Tony began.

“Shut him up,” the Red Skull hissed and Bucky put a hand over Tony’s mouth.

Steve was looking at Bucky and then he whispered to the Red Skull, “What did you do to him?”

“Nothing. His mind was long broken before I attained him. I’m just the next in the long line of owners who have possessed him. He’s been used as an experiment, a puppet, an assassin, and a slave for years…all because his friend did not go looking for him after he fell.”

Steve’s emotions overwhelmed him in a rush. Shame and dread washed through him and he wanted nothing more to scream. Bucky’s fall replayed in his mind. All these years and Bucky had been victimized because Steve never thought he survived. He pretty much handed him to the Red Skull on a silver platter.

He looked at his friend and saw the man did not acknowledge him. His gaze was dead and he looked at Steve without recognition or any of the warmth he remembered from their past together. Bucky clearly did not care if he was ordered to inject a deadly substance into Steve’s soulmate.

Steve dropped his head and pressed his fingers into his eyes to hide his tearful despair from everyone.

“I’m waiting, Captain,” the Red Skull murmured, moving one of his feet forward for Steve to kiss.

Steve leaned forward until most of his weight was on his hands. He heard Tony make a sound of protest but he did not look at Tony or Bucky. He did not want to see Tony’s reaction. He crawled, keeping his head tilted up so he can watch the Red Skull and make sure he did not attack him in this vulnerable position.

Schmidt was hard to read for most people as he did not have the customary flesh to display emotions. Steve was one of the few who could and he could tell by the tilt of his head and the relish in his gaze that he was enjoying this.

Finally, Steve reached the Schmidt’s boots. Humiliation hit him as he stared at the man’s extended foot. He was so angry that he felt weak. His eyes heated and his muscles trembled from the emotion. With his nose crinkled and his lips tightly shut, Steve lowered himself and pressed his mouth to the Red Skull’s boot.

Schmidt’s other foot rose and slammed between Steve’s shoulder blades, pressing him deeper down onto the shoe. Schmidt murmured, “Like you mean it, Captain. You do want your soulmate to survive this, don’t you?”

With his fingers digging into the cement floor, Steve picked himself up and pressed a soft kiss onto the Red Skull’s boot.

“Much better,” Schmidt crooned. “Soldier, remove the needle.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Bucky remove the syringe from Tony’s neck. He kept the sharp point to the needle hovering ominously over his throat.

Steve dared not move and whispered from his hunched position, “Let them go.”

“Neither matter to me,” Schmidt replied. “I only want you.”

“Then you have me,” Steve replied, he kept his head lowered, knowing the Red Skull would delight in the submissive action.

“The syringe that was in your soulmate’s neck contains a concoction of my own making. Used on a super soldier, it slows your heart enough to force you to pass out. But on a normal person, it stops the heart altogether.”

Steve’s hands clenched and he physically shook from repressing his need to jump to Tony and rip the syringe away from his neck.

“We are not leaving this room until the contents of the syringe are empty. It’s your decision how that happens. Either take the syringe and inject yourself in the next minute or my soldier will inject your soulmate,” Schmidt stated.

Breathing shallowly, Steve slowly lifted his head. He looked first to the Red Skull and then slowly turned to Tony and Bucky. Schmidt wanted him to inject himself and Steve would do it in an instant if it meant saving Tony but…

“You’re lying,” Steve hissed. “You have no way of knowing how it would work. You’d _never_ test something like that on yourself!”

The Red Skull laughed and replied, “You are right about one thing. I would never use this on myself. But it has been tested…why do you think your old friend here has been traded around so often? It is not because of his conversation skills. He was originally Zola’s experiment and, with my blood, he was able to create another super soldier.”

Steve’s eyes shot back to Bucky. Could it be true? He remembered the pain from Dr. Erskine’s experiment and he couldn’t imagine how much more worse it had to be for Bucky under Dr. Zola.

“Time is running out, _Captain_ ,” the Red Skull stated his title like it was a mock.

Steve got to his feet and stepped past the Red Skull to Bucky and Tony. His gaze irrevocably fell on his soulmate.

As soon as his eyes fell on him, Tony shook his head just enough to wordlessly try and stop Steve. Steve bit down on his lip and wordlessly mouthed, “I love you” to his mate.

Tony’s eyes widened dramatically and he renewed his struggles in Bucky’s grip. Bucky had a pretty good hold on him despite one hand being on his mouth and the other holding the syringe. His arms caged Tony and held him fast. Being a super soldier just made holding Tony all the easier for him.

Steve carefully slid his hand around the syringe where Bucky wasn’t touching it. Bucky was watching him as sharply as a hawk did likely prey. Steve did not move his or the syringe and stared at Bucky until finally he looked into Steve’s gaze. When their eyes met, Steve whispered, “I am so sorry, Buck.”

Steve ripped the syringe from Bucky’s grasp and stabbed it into Bucky’s neck. He pressed down on the stopper and the blue liquid disappeared into Bucky’s throat. Steve frantically prayed he didn’t just kill his best friend as the syringe emptied.

Bucky grunted and pushed Tony to the ground to latch onto Steve. His grip grew lax almost as soon as he grabbed him. He slid down and Steve guided him to the ground.

Tony jumped to his feet and hissed, “ _Fuck_!” He pointed his repulsors at a glowering Red Skull and yelled at Steve, “Goddamnit, Steve! Don’t ever do that to me again! I nearly died when you touched that syringe! I mean, _what_ _the_ _fuck_!? _Damnit_ , is that really Barnes??”

“Yes,” Steve whispered. His hand hovered over Bucky’s mouth and he monitored Bucky’s breathing. Once he was sure the drug wasn’t going to have any adverse effects, Steve stood and faced Schmidt with clenched hands.

The Red Skull crossed his arms over his chest and glared at them. The monster shook his head and tutted, “Always destroying my plans, Captain.”

“Stand down,” Steve ordered. “You can’t possibly defeat both of us.”

“You were not listening, Captain,” he stated, like he was chastising a child. “I noted that you were always destroying my plans. I have learned a lot in the years since we last fought.”

Masked mercenaries poured out of the two doorways, all with their guns pointed at him and Tony.

The Red Skull stepped up to him and stated with relish, “It is you who should stand down.”

Steve looked around them, searching for an escape or a way to fight back.

The mercenaries had them completely surrounded. Steve’s shield and gun were where they lay abandoned and Tony’s suit was damaged with only the repulsors to fight with. Their only chance was somehow alerting the team but Tony’s comms was destroyed with his helmet and they would notice if Steve activated the comms unit in his ear. Otherwise, they had no way to fight back without killing themselves in the process. 

Gritting his teeth, Steve slowly raised his hands over his head. Beside him, Tony did the same, cursing lightly under his breath.

Nodding to where Bucky lay, Schmidt murmured, “You destroyed the more humane option I had for moving you.” The Red Skull removed a pistol from the holster on his hip and stated, “You only have yourself to blame for the pain.”

He then pointed his gun down and, in quick order, shot both his knees. Steve fell with a muffled yell of agony. He instinctly fell onto his knees and the pain intensified by tenfold. He fell to his side as a nauseating wave of pain threatened to knock him out.

Tony dove with him exclaiming in horror, “ _Steve_?!”

Schmidt backhanded Tony with the blunt end of his gun, pushing him away. Steve was laying curled up on his side and the Red Skull viciously stepped on his head and pressed the gun barrel against the back of his neck. He whispered, “Goodnight, Captain.”

Steve only had time to register surprise.

\---

The gunshot made Tony jerk so violently that anyone watching would have guessed he was the one that was shot. But it hadn’t been him. He scrambled up as the Red Skull straightened up and returned his gun to his hostler.

Steve lay immobile and a puddle of blood was growing under him.

Ignoring the mercenaries and the Red Skull, Tony dove back to his soulmate’s side.

He recoiled as soon as he saw where the Red Skull had shot him. He stared at the mortal wound for several seconds, unable to comprehend what it meant in that span of time.

Tony just found Steve. After all of these years of searching and waiting, he finally had his mate. They just indirectly told each other they loved each other _just that morning_. They were happy. _They couldn’t be torn apart now_.

Slowly crawling to Steve, Tony painfully gasped, “Steve?”

His soulmate did not reply which was not surprising as the Red Skull had shot him in the back of the neck.

 _No, no, no Steve couldn’t be dead_!

Tony put pressure on the grisly wound to staunch the bleeding and gagged when he felt the burning flesh from the heat of the bullet and hard sharp bits that must have been his broken spine.

 _He’s a super soldier_! Tony yelled at himself to keep himself from losing it. _He’s_ _still_ _alive_! Tony’s implant hadn’t beeped with a restart yet! Steve’s heart was still pumping and Tony had to keep him alive as long as it would take him to heal.

He looked up at the people around them. He was prepared to beg, barter, or fight – _to do_ _anything_ –  for Steve’s life.

One of the mercenaries hit him across the back of his skull before he got the chance to open his mouth. He fell and was unconscious before he landed on top of Steve.

\---

“Nothing,” Natasha murmured again.

“Sir’s communication module was destroyed when they encountered a man at the end of their hall. I lost contact with him when he attacked,” Jarvis relayed over the comms.

Her teammates exchanged nervous glances.

She had tried to hail both Steve and Tony but neither were answering their comms. The hour deadline had long passed and SHIELD was not answering their hails for help either. Something big was happening at HQ. They had gotten a few calls of distress and then nothing, just radio silence.

Clint, Laura, and their children were huddled together. Her partner was fretting over his family as they held one another. He continuously pressed a kiss onto Laura’s forehead and held both her and his children whenever they gave him the chance.

She caught sight of him kissing Laura again and looked away sharply. She felt a tingling against the skin of her forehead as she remembered James pressing a kiss there and she rubbed the spot to dispel the feeling and memory.

She turned her attention back to the matter at hand. Thor and Bruce waited for her orders. She was Cap’s second. Long ago, they decided if he ever went down in a fight she would be the next to lead. She never thought that moment would ever come…

“We’ll move in,” Natasha stated.

Her teammates nodded, even Clint, but his son whined upon Natasha’s suggestion and Clint immediately rubbed comfortingly at his shoulder. He whispered to his son, “I’ll be okay. I’ve got to go save Cap and Iron Man. They’re useless without me. And Mommy has her gun and if anyone comes near she’s going to show them how well a two-time gold winning sharp shooter can handle a 40 caliber.”

Clint’s son grinned and Clint rose to kiss Laura one last time.

They reentered the building. The note that Steve had ripped off the wall was still on the ground and they stepped over it. Natasha only spared the paper a glance.

When Steve first read it aloud, her immediate thought was for James Buchannan Barnes.

But it was impossible, a silly dream even. Her soulmate was dead.

She had only just recently discovered the connection Steve had to her soulmate. The day she found out she went straight to her rooms and looked him up online, knowing there had to be pictures of him with Steve during World War II.

And there he was, he had shorter hair and a more carefree expression, but it was her James. It had been the first time she’d seen him in the years since she lost him and she had sobbed her heart out when she saw him. She printed all the ones containing James and locked them away in her burrow. She had considered telling Steve but decided against it. She didn’t want anyone’s pity or more heartbreak.

The Red Skull had killed her mate. There was no way he was down that hall. The long lost friend had to be someone else or no one at all.

The third door opened easy enough and the dark corridor started off similarly to the one she and Bruce had ventured down, but theirs led them to a team of assailants, guarding Laura, locked away in a sealed room. Their hall contained things like barricades for someone to hide behind. But the third hall was just smooth walls and the only tactical advantage it would give their enemies would be the easier for them to pick them off in the narrow corridor.

They met no one until they came upon the end.

They went around a corner and saw the prone bodies as they approached but, they could not tell them friend from foe due to the dark. There were two bodies however and the size and shape fit Steve and Tony’s definitions.

She grimly led the team in. Her assumptions were half right. One of the bodies was Tony with his armor ruined and in a pool of old, drying blood.

Bruce ran forward as soon as he saw him and immediately started to check his vitals.

The other body was curled on its side and was facing away from them. He wore black, dark ops leather and she knew he couldn’t be Steve so she turned her attention to Tony. Clint lead Thor to the other man, to check him over and make sure he was no threat.

Tony moaned from Bruce’s jostling which was a good sign. Natasha watched Bruce as he pulled apart the suit. Jarvis was directing him how to via the communicator.

Bruce had been able to remove what remained of Tony’s face shield and neck armor. He was in the middle of removing the chest plate when Tony started to come to.

“Don’t move, Tony,” Bruce hissed to his friend. “Tell me where you are injured. I’ve got to stop the bleeding.”

“My head,” Tony groaned.

Bruce pinched his brow. He had already check Tony’s scalp but he put his hands back on Tony’s skull and ran his fingers through his hair, searching for the hidden injury. Bruce whispered, “You have a big bump back here but I don’t feel any bleeding wound, Tony. Where did the blood come from?”

Tony’s eyes snapped open and an expression came over Tony’s face that Natasha was all too familiar with.

Tony wasn’t lying in his own blood.

Tony sat up swiftly and didn’t seem to notice Bruce’s exclamation of surprise. His eyes spanned the entire room, looking for the one person who was not there.

With a paling face, he fumbled with his left gauntlet. His hands were shaky and tears were forming in his eyes. Bruce paled as he also realized what had happened.

“G-Get it off! Somebody get this off! Let me see my implant!” Tony gasped as he tugged uselessly at his gauntlet and repressed sobs that were shaking his entire body. He seemed to know what he was going to see and he was already preparing for the worst.

Natasha knelt beside Bruce and helped him in removing Tony’s gauntlet. Her hands were steady whereas Tony’s were shaking.

Tony closed his eyes as it slid off and then reluctantly opened them to look at his soul implant.

He bit back a cry of relief and pressed the blank implant to his face.

Steve was alive.

“…Nat,” Clint called to her. He had waited with Thor to see Steve’s fate but now they knew he was alive right now so they had to get back to business. “This guy isn’t a foot soldier. He’s wearing top of the line gear and his left arm is freaking robotic. 

Natasha’s heart seized in her chest. She wordlessly crossed the room and rounded the body in seconds.

Laying on the ground was James.

He was breathing and unconscious but _very_ much alive.

She fell to her knees from her shock and clutched her mouth.

“Natasha?” Clint hissed. The Avengers watched her with shocked expressions. None of them had ever seen her so compromised. They didn’t know James was the Winter Soldier. They didn’t know this man was her soulmate, back from the dead.

“J-James?” She unsteadily gasped.

The sound of her voice roused him. He woke in an instant with his dark blue eyes snapping open to their fullest. His eyes focused on her and they widened slightly with recognition. She laughed wetly and uncovered her mouth to smile at him.

_He was alive! James was-!_

James launched himself at her and grabbed her throat with both of his hands. His grip was crushing as he exerted his full strength. His face was ugly and pinched as he hissed to her one single word:

“ _Die_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3
> 
> Next time, Ch. 7: Hail, Hydra


	7. Hail, Hydra

The Soldier was drawn back to consciousness by a feminine voice. When he opened his eyes, the woman’s form swam in his vision until her image cleared.

He recognized her instantly.

She was his target.

He was supposed to kill her as soon as he saw her, no matter the situation.

He leapt from where he lay and ignored the way the burns he received from Iron Man’s repulsors pulled painfully at his skin. He got his hands around her throat and choked her.

She gasped and grabbed at his hands, digging her nails into his flesh and breaking them on the metal. Her light green eyes were huge and wet from tears. She looked at him in shock like she could not believe he was doing this.

“Die,” he hissed.

“What the fuck!? Get the hell off her!?” Hawkeye tried to pull him off his target but he was no match for the Soldier’s strength.

The archer notched an arrow and pointed it at the soft flesh of his neck. His target surprisingly let go of his hands and reached out to the archer. Using the last of her air, she let out a strangled, “N-No!”

The strange plea stalled the archer but not the others.

“ _Unhand her, Cretin_!” Thor yelled and ripped the Soldier off of his target.

 His target sat up sharply, gasping for air.

The Soldier moved quickly. Thor was stronger than him so he used his speed to twist in his hold and break away from the Norse God.

He launched himself straight at his target and grabbed her by the throat again.

She did not struggle this time and tears were falling from her eyes. She accepted her fate. It would make her death quicker. She reached up and he flinched back, expecting her to claw at his face. Instead, she lightly caressed the side of his jaw and dropped her hand as the light faded from her eyes.

“ _Nat_!” Hawkeye shrieked.

“LET GO HULK FRIEND!”

The Soldier was once again ripped from his target but this time the grip that held him was unyielding and crushing his bones. He struggled against the massive green hands that held him, nonetheless, his eyes were not on the Hulk but his target.

His target’s teammates raced to her side and helped her sit up. She looked disoriented and her neck was already swelling.

Her eyes found his and she scrambled to her feet, yelling, “ _No_! Hulk stop! He’s my soulmate! Please, stop!”

Hulk froze and murmured, “He your Betty?”

“Yes,” his target replied wetly. “He just doesn’t remember.” She looked at the Soldier with sad eyes and whispered, “Do you?”

The Soldier did not reply. It was not a part of the directive to communicate with the target.

“Nat…I thought your mate was dead…You said the Academy killed him in front of you,” Hawkeye stated, not sounding convinced.

His target rubbed her throat with a wince and huskily replied, “I thought they did. They shot him in the base of his skull. But he’s a super soldier, he must have survived…”

Iron Man leapt to his feet and hissed, “They shot Steve there too! I was convinced they had killed him! Could he survive?? Could he be healing??”

His target looked from Iron Man and then back to the Soldier. Her light green eyes focused on him and he felt the sudden urge to wrap his hands around her throat again.

“We’ll take him with us,” his target hoarsely stated.

“Where?” Hawkeye asked. “SHIELD is clearly down. Whoever did that must have been tough. They must have purposely drawn us out here to not just take Steve but separate us from SHIELD. I have a feeling we’re wanted vigilantes right now.”

“I’ve got a safe house,” Stark stated. He was holding his left arm like a lifeline but his stance and voice were determined.

The team easily acquiesced and they headed to the safe house.

As they flew, Hulk kept a hold of him and Stark started to fiddle with his left arm to disable it but he ignored them both.

He kept his eyes on his target the entire flight.

And she did the same of him.

\---

Steve woke slowly. The back of his neck felt like a heavy 2-ton weight was pushing down on him and crushing him. The crushing pain radiated throughout his body and burned all the nerves under his skin.

He was in a frigidly cold room and had been stripped naked so had no protection from the icy air or floor. He curled into a ball and willed warmth into his limbs as he trembled violently.

His mind was sluggish due to the cold but he knew he was in the Red Skull’s hands.

The man had shot Steve in the spine, paralyzing him but not killing him. Steve was still aware when he fell and had heard the horror in Tony’s voice when he called out to him. He also knew they knocked out Tony and Schmidt told his men to leave Tony and Bucky behind. Schmidt had said something about his soldier needing to complete a mission and Steve feared for his soulmate.

He healed slowly due to the cold but his eyes were moving, taking in the cell as he planned his escape.

When he was testing his ability to move, the Red Skull entered his cell flanked by two of his masked agents.

“Sleep well, Captain?” Schmidt asked with a smirk.

Steve straightened up and covered his genitals with a frown. He demanded, “How am I alive?”

“Small caliber bullet. It breaks the spine but doesn’t kill. I found that out when I tried to kill your friend,” the Red Skull stated.

Steve’s blood broiled but he did not rise to bite the obvious tether the taunt was attached to. Bucky was with Tony. His soulmate and friends could help him now. Instead, he hissed, “What do you want, Schmidt?”

“I was just checking in on how you were,” Schmidt teased. “Were the accommodations to your liking?”

Steve glared at him and the Red Skull chuckled.

“Truthfully, I wanted to see the once great Captain America before I completely destroy him,” he replied with an air of triumph. “This is the last time you will glower at me like you are right now or be so defiant or willful. I want to appreciate this last moment.”

Steve narrowed his eyes and asked, “Why are you dragging this out? Why keep me alive? If you’re going to destroy me just do it already. Why all the theatrics?”

Smirking, the Red Skull shook his head and stated, “I don’t want to kill you. I just want to destroy what makes you, _you_.” The Red Skull paused as Steve eyes narrowed furthered. Still smirking, he continued, “I am going to break you until you are less than human and then put you back together again. I will destroy you and in your place will stand my new soldier of Hydra…I couldn’t think of a better way to get back at Erskine, do you?”

Steve stared up at Schmidt in horror. He was so shocked and disturbed that he couldn’t formulate a reply. There was no way he could do it! Steve would _never_ fight for Hydra!

Schmidt nodded to the two men who came in after him and they roughly grabbed Steve’s arms and forced him to his knees. He gritted his teeth as his weight settled on the sensitive, healing joints.

“Say, ‘Hail, Hydra,’ Captain,” Schmidt ordered.

“No,” Steve instantly spat.

The Red Skull stepped up to him and punched him in the gut, knocking all of the air out of his lungs. Steve gasped for breath and Schmidt stated, “The first step in destroying you is breaking your will. You will do as I command or I will hurt you…Say it.”

Steve could hold out. He could take the beatings or any other pain Schmidt could come up with. He’d _never_ let him warp his mind.

Latching onto the image of Tony, Steve lifted his head and defiantly retorted, “I can do this all day.”

The Red Skull cracked his neck as he stretched it and murmured, “It looks like we are going to have a _long_ day ahead of us then.” Schmidt chuckled, “I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time.”

He drew back his foot and hit Steve with his metal boot, cracking his ribs. Steve was going to try and remain silent but he couldn’t help but yelp from the sudden pain.

Schmidt grinned and kicked again.

\---

Tony had a safe house tucked away in Northern New York. It was deep into the Adirondacks, in the part of the woods with no roads and access only came from the sky. He had it built on the sly to originally escape the press but now, apparently, he needed it to escape the Nazi _Hydra_ of all organizations. The house had more than enough rooms but it felt crowded with a full team of superheroes, their mates, and Clint’s two children.

It especially felt wrong to Tony without Steve there…

The Winter Soldier was kept in one of Tony’s blast rooms. It was a small closet, originally used to store his most potent explosives. It was made of solid concrete and steel. It was made to withstand the power of a great explosion so it should be enough to hold the Soviet super solider.

Tony had a workshop there and he constructed manacles for the super soldier. The military grade metal seemed to be enough to contain and hold him down so far…

Clint was currently in there and trying to get him to answer his questions about Steve’s possible whereabouts but Barnes answered every question the same:

“Hail, Hydra.”

“Barnes, we know you did not join them willingly. Can you tell me anything about how you became indoctrinated into their program?”

“Hail, Hydra.”

“What about Natasha? Why did you attack her?”

Something flickered in the assassin’s eyes but he repeated, “Hail, Hydra.”

“Do you remember she is your soulmate?” Clint tried, his voice imploring.

Tony’s fingers dug into the flesh of his arm. He couldn’t imagine hurting Steve the way this man did his own soulmate. Natasha’s neck was swollen and was the grisly colors of black and blue.

“Hail, Hydra.”

Tony couldn’t take it anymore. He let out a frustrated groan and stormed out of the room. Clint would be relentless in questioning the Winter Soldier but, by now, Tony knew the answer would always be the same.

They were no closer to finding Steve than they were at the beginning of the week.

The stress was getting to him. Tony was so frantic with worry and had barely slept or ate. His clothes hung off him loosely and, the last time he saw Pepper with their food supplies, she looked at him like she saw a ghost. Hell, he felt like he was dying.

Steve was in the hands of his greatest enemy and God only knew what the madman was doing to his soulmate.

He jolted to a stop in the hall when he saw Natasha standing outside of his workshop. She had her head tilted toward the door and was obviously listening in. His eyes immediately went to her neck. The bruises were now greenish with yellowing edges. He guiltily looked away and met her perceptive eyes.

“…Nat?” Tony questioned. He felt uneasy seeing her so close to the maniac that had almost killed her. What on Earth was going through her mind? What kind of trauma does one’s soulmate attacking you inflict?

She looked at him with an expressionless face and replied indifferently, “Stark?”

“You…okay?” He asked awkwardly.

She sighed heavily and leaned back against the door. With her attention obviously diverted by the conversation inside, she replied, “No…”

Tony touched his implant. He’d been doing it ever since he’d lost Steve.

Her eyes flickered down to where he was touching his implant and she murmured, “James will never respond to Clint. He has no connection to him.”

“If you go in there, he will try to kill you,” Tony stated apprehensively.

 “If you hadn’t seen Steve in years…If you thought he was dead and suddenly he was just there…would you just stand aside and avoid him because you might get hurt? Even when you’re the only one who could help him?”

Tony bit down on his lip knowing his answer would parallel hers.

Natasha nodded to herself and said, “When we were together, he regained his memories fairly quickly, especially when we found things to trigger them… Maybe it will happen again.”

“Don’t do it without backup,” Tony hissed.

“Then follow me,” she retorted and opened the door.

\---

After days of beatings, Steve felt like every breath he took was coated in blood and the fresh, cold air only made his throat more raw. He only ate a few bites a day and most of the water he drank when Schmidt tried to suffocate him under it. They rarely let him sleep and the only reprieve was when he fell unconscious.

He could feel his mind slipping. He needed nutrition. He needed rest. He needed to heal. But, most importantly, he needed to escape.

“How shall I hurt you today, Captain?”

Steve ignored the Red Skull in favor of focusing on one important factor in trying to escape: he wasn’t healing as quickly as he used to. The cold room and the handful of bites they fed him weren’t enough to sustain his healing ability. His entire body ached with cuts, bruises, and burns. The Red Skull was relentless and it made Steve weaker for it.

“What if I told you we had your soulmate in the other room and were going to hurt him. _Then_ would you say the words?”

Steve’s head snapped up and his fear overrode whatever fatigue or pain he was feeling. When?! How?! He gasped, “T-Tony??”

Schmidt threw back his head and laughed.

“So easy to manipulate,” Schmidt said with a grin. “Say the words, Captain.”

“Go to hell,” Steve hissed in return, his heart was still racing with fear.

“I hear it is hell to live on without your soulmate,” Schmidt stated. “Tell me, do you miss him? Is being apart from him worse than what I put you through?”

Steve clenched his jaw, refusing to reply, but, internally, his heart cried out in agreement. Ever since he and Tony realized they were soulmates, they were never far from each other’s sides. He didn’t realize how strong of a connection they had formed until they were forced apart like this. Steve missed him and craved for information about him but dared not ask the Red Skull.

Schmidt laughed at him and said, “It’s true isn’t it? I bet the only thing that keeps you going is that implant on your arm. Every day you look at it and are reassured by the fact that its blank and your mate is still alive.”

Steve did not reply though the man’s words did ring true. He was tempted to hide the implant from Schmidt but did not, to keep him from manipulating him any further.

Schmidt’s henchmen came in and grabbed him like they always did for his beatings. Steve kept his head raised to defiantly meet the Red Skull’s gaze.

The Red Skull took off his belt and Steve tensed, readying himself for more pain. Steve expected him to hit him with it but Schmidt wrapped it around Steve’s upper left arm tightly. He locked it on his arm, cutting off the blood flow. His arm twinged with discomfort and his fingers prickled slightly from his blood being cut off.

Schmidt drew a knife from his side and held Steve’s left arm tightly as he stated, “Soul implants are extremely hard to remove but…”

Steve tensed in understanding and then instantly fought his captors’ hold. The men grunted but held him strong.

He knew what Schmidt planned and he had to stop him! Tony would instantly assume the worst! Tony would-!

Schmidt cut into his arm and dragged the blade deeply around the implant.

“ _No! Please! Stop! Please! Don’t! I’ll say it! Hail, Hydra! Now stop! Stop!_ ” Steve gasped madly. He barely noticed the pain. He just imagined Tony worriedly looking over holograms, looking for Steve, and then hearing his implant reset. He’d think Steve was dead.

He remembered Bucky’s father after Bucky’s mother died. He gave up on life and wasted away within a week. Tony could do the same. He’d waited so long for Steve and if he lost him now-!

“ _Please_!” He begged.

“I never had a soulmate,” the Red Skull commented nonchalantly. He completed the circuit around his implant and turned his blade in Steve’s flesh, pushing the implant up at an odd angle. “Is it really worth all of this drama? It seems more like a tether, weighing you down, making you weak.”

With his free hand, Schmidt grasped the edge of Steve’s implant that was sticking up and then looked at Steve. He whispered, “Say it.”

“Hail, Hydra,” Steve gasped, tears forming in his eyes. He was trembling in Schmidt’s hold and staring at his implant.

Schmidt smirked and ripped the implant out of his arm.

Steve screamed like he ripped out his very soul.

Somewhere, Tony’s implant was reseting and those hated zeroes would appear.

For all intents and purposes, he was dead. The first thing checked off before filling out a death certificate was to see if the implant zeroed. He was as good as dead and no one would pause to think there was a possibility that the Red Skull had removed it from his arm. Everyone would just assume he survived until now because the Red Skull had slowly tortured Steve to death.

Schmidt forcibly pulled his head up by his hair and held the bloody implant in front of Steve’s face. Schmidt declared, “To Stark, you just died. Soulmates surviving a partner’s death is about 5%. How do you think your soulmate will fair? By your reaction, not too well, I assume… Let’s try again. What is it I want you to say, Captain?”

Steve kept imagining Tony thinking him dead.

How long would he last? What if he ended it?

_No! Tony was strong! He wouldn’t give up on him! He’d search until he found a body!!_

Or Tony, whose faith in technology was absolute, would see his implant reset, and know with absolute certainty he was gone.

Steve let out a choked sob at the thought.

What use was his pride if his mate was dead?

Steve closed his eyes to escape the sight of his implant and whispered, “Hail, Hydra.”

Grinning triumphantly, Schmidt stated, “You're ready for the next step.”

\---

The Soldier’s eyes focused on his target as soon as she entered the small room. His left arm had been disabled by Stark and was useless, but it and his right arm had been cuffed to the floor. He pulled at his bonds as soon as she entered.

Hawkeye warned, “Natasha…”

She held up her hand and said, “I’ve got this. Let me talk to him. He knows me even though he doesn’t remember it right now.”

“Take a breather, Clint. You’ve been at this all day. I’m backing her up,” Stark piped from behind her.

Barton frowned deeply but nodded and left, closing the door behind him.

His target took the seat Hawkeye vacated and Stark leaned against the wall in the corner of the room. As soon as she touched her chair, he jumped to his feet the best he could and lunged threateningly at her. His shoulder joints ached as he tried to wrench his arms from the makeshift manacles on the floor. Stark twitched but she did not flinch.

He glared at her and hissed, “I am going to kill you.”

“See, Clint,” she called out to semi-sealed door. “This is a vast improvement from ‘Hail, Hydra.’”

Behind her, a shadow moved in the barely discernable crack of the “closed” door.

She crossed her legs and said, “I know your mission is to kill me and I will help you if you tell me two things.”

Stark stood up straight and hissed, “Nat!”

“One,” she stated, ignoring Stark and holding up one finger. “You will tell me your name. And two, you will tell me mine. If you still want to kill me after remembering both then you are welcome to.”

“I have no name, only the codename, Winter Soldier. You are the Black Widow, Natasha Romanoff.” He leaned closer and hissed, “Now let me kill you.”

She huffed out a weak excuse for a chuckle and whispered, “You are wrong on both accounts. The names you listed are all names the Academy gave us. I want you to tell me the names we had before the Academy, the names we spoke only when we were alone…”

The Soldier glared at the woman.

He was not allowed a name and, if he had one, it did not matter. His master decided he did not need one so that was that.

His target was not gifting him with an easy kill but a riddle. Why would she want him to remember these things?

He remembered her calling out a name before he attacked her. She was speaking to him. It must have been “his.”

“James,” he stated. “My _name_ is James.”

She smiled sadly and whispered, “Yes, it is.”

Objective one of two achieved. He was one step closer to killing her. But what was her name? How will he get it out of her?

“Just ask him about Steve, Nat,” Stark hissed from his corner.

“He won’t speak about anything else until he remembers… _Do you remember Steve_? You had remembered him before remembering your name, last time. He was your best friend. You loved him like a brother…he was the one you and the Red Skull attacked, the one the Red Skull took away.”

The Soldier did not reply. It was not a part of the mission. He kept his gaze level with his target’s and said, “Tell me your name.”

“Steven Grant Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes,” she stated in return. “Two boys from Brooklyn. You grew up together, fought together, and nearly died together. Steve did not want to fight you, remember?”

“Tell me your name.”

“Do you remember when we first met? When our soul implants went off? We were going to kill each other but you stopped us. You wanted a soulmate. You wanted something for yourself. You want us, to love, to be happy…and we were.”

The Soldier internally flinched as he did not remember what she suggested but instead remembered the pain. His master had tortured him within an inch of his life and repeatedly told him it was because he wanted something he was not allowed. It was one of the few memories that stayed with him and a constant reminder to never go against his master’s wishes again.  

The Soldier would not let her sway him.

He was a machine. A vehicle for his master to use at his pleasure. He was not allowed a soulmate and he wanted nothing to do with this woman who claimed to be his…The only contact he wanted with her, was to wrap his hands around her throat and snap her neck. He should have done that in the first place…

“Tell me your name,” he growled.

“How about you fucking tell us where Steve is?!” Stark exploded as he separated the distance between himself and the Soldier in large strides. The man looked half mad by the fact that his soulmate was missing.

“Back off, Tony,” his target bit harshly.

“This asshole knows where Steve is and you’re too busy playing the _name_ game with -!”

A shrill beep sounded and shut Stark up immediately.

Both Stark and his target’s faces paled. His target’s eyes shot to Stark’s extended arm where his soul implant was clearly visible to her. The Soldier could only see the back of his arm, but, by the target’s reaction, he knew the implant had reset. Her expression was hard but her eyes glazed over with pain.

Stark was still staring at the target, refusing to look at his implant. His arm shook and tears welled in his eyes.

His target lightly touched Stark’s arm and whispered, “Tony…”

Stark broke away from her, hissing, “Don’t touch me.”

He backed up until he hit the opposite wall, and then slid down its surface. His arms pooled into his lap and he finally looked down at his implant. He let out a strangled cry that almost sounded inhuman and then his face fell into his hands and he sobbed.

His target leapt from her chair and ran to Stark’s side.

The Soldier did not listen in to their conversation as he had a sudden intense headache.

He remembered that sound of the same shrill beep and a throbbing pain in his arm.

But, more importantly, he remembered holding a bloody implant out to the memory of his target, and pleading to the woman, “ _I never wanted something before now_.”

That intense feeling rushed through him of longing and want like he never experienced before…or, at least, he never remembered experiencing before.

He was glad she was distracted by Stark so she did not notice the complexity of emotions that passed through his expression. He looked at her suspiciously, not trusting her…or himself on how to react to the unexpected memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Time, Ch. 8: The Price of Memories


	8. The Price of Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments, bookmarks, and kudos! Your support is awesome! :)

Tony had done what a normal person would do when he found out his soulmate, a man he loved more than himself, was dead. He went mad with grief.

It wasn’t the crazy mad though, it was the pissed off mad.

He pushed Natasha away from him and charged Barnes. He grabbed the man by the scruff of his shirt and demanded, “ _WHERE IS HE_?!”

Barnes stared at him coolly and then hissed, “Tell me her name.”

Tony punched him and then drew back his fist to punch the bastard again but Natasha grabbed his arm.

“Stop it!” She hissed.

“If he just fucking talked-! _If you just fucking told us_ -!” Tony yelled, his voice growing tighter from his grief. Tony ripped his arm from Natasha’s hold and stepped away from Barnes, facing the one wall with no one to see him break. Tony slammed the wall with both of his fists and fell into the wall with a cry. Almost like a toddler having a tantrum, he repeatedly hit the wall. He embraced his anger and kept hitting the wall because, he knew if he embraced the despair, he’d curl into a ball and cry for days on end. As it was, he already felt like a hand had plunged into his heart to tear it out of his chest and all that was left behind was a bleeding crater.

_Not Steve. Anyone but Steve!_

Natasha came up behind him and grasped his arm more gently. She whispered, “Please, Tony…Steve wouldn’t want this…”

For a moment, his sadness almost knocked aside his anger as he remembered his soulmate smiling, laughing, and _living_.

Tony pushed his friend aside and stalked up to the Winter Soldier. He ripped his cell phone out of his pocket and turned it on to display the image of his lock screen. The picture was of Steve, smiling bashfully at the camera, but smiling happily all the same.

Looking at it caused another wave of pain to flow through him. He made it fuel his anger. He lashed out at Barnes, wanting him to feel the same pain he was. Tony hissed, “That man was _your brother_ and he is dead because of _you_.”

\---

The Soldier’s cell was sparse.

It was adequate to sleep in but difficult to escape.

There was no furniture, not even a cot for him to sleep on. The only loose article was the wool blanket they had given him. They wanted to take away his power so he wouldn’t try to hurt his target but, even with just a blanket, he knew at least a dozen ways to kill someone even in his one-armed state.

He was starting to grow restless, more so after the events of earlier that day.

He sat against the wall, tapping his finger against his leg in an endless tick.

Stark’s words had burned into his mind but, it was his target’s sad eyes were what he visualized. Both made him agitated.

He had no possessions. He had no soulmate. He had no “brother.” He had no feelings.

So why were they all cropping up in his mind?

His tapping grew faster.

‘ _I never wanted something before now,_ ’ his past reminded him and the longing that hit him was so strong that it hurt.

He’d recovered memories in his weeklong stay in his cell but they were parallel to his confinement. He remembered being trapped, hiding in tight spaces, or the constricted clutches of _the_ machine.

It was normal for him to recover memories but he was supposed to ignore them. They only hindered the mission if he focused on them and, usually, they never were strong enough to distract him.

This was different.

The Soldier lay down on the floor to try to dispel the feeling rising up in his chest. It lingered for a while. It was almost as if something was tethered to the center of his chest and pulling at it moderately, not letting go.

He closed his eyes and controlled his breathing as he entered a meditative state.

He allowed unconsciousness to take him and to let his body recharge.

_He was crying. He was crying so hard he could barely see and breathe. His daddy lay on his bed, a shell of the man he once was, and his thin hand rested on the side of the bed his mom used to sleep._

_“It’s okay,” his dad whispered weakly. “I’m going to be with mommy again.”_

_“Nooooo,” he cried. He didn’t want to lose him too._

_A weight pressed into his side and, when he looked up, he saw Steve was holding him with a tearful face. Behind him, Steve’s mother watched them with a pinched expression._

_He turned back to his dad and dropped his head on the bed to bawl out his eyes even harder. His dad lightly placed his hand on his head but he took more comfort from his friend holding him at his side._

_His father died a few days later and he moved in with the Rogers’. When he stepped over the threshold to his new home, Steve embraced him and promised, “This is your home. We are your family.” Steve stepped back and grasped his shoulders, stating, “I love you, Buck. You’re my brother forever and a day. I won’t leave you…We’ll be together till…till the end of the line.”_

_He hiccupped as tears pooled in his eyes again but he nodded to his best friend, the closest thing he ever had to a brother, and Steve hugged him even tighter._

 

He woke with the memory lingering behind. The feeling of safety and acceptance in Steve’s arms remained and enveloped him in comforting feelings.

He rolled onto his side and reached to the spot beside him, like his father had done in the memory, except he was not copying it. He was reaching out for his own soulmate, to tell her of his new memory. He dimly remembered he had done many nights prior…

But his hand was stopped. He was tied down and he was laying on cold cement, not a bed. He opened his eyes and the good feeling went away and he remembered the situation he was in…His soulmate was no longer by his side. She was his target. And Steve…Steve was no longer with him either. He was the property of the Red Skull now, just like the Soldier…

As emotions cascaded through him, he could admit that he did not like the situation he was in.

His entire body shuddered as it reminded him of the phantom pain from his past torture.

It was a reminder that he shouldn’t think like that. His feelings did not matter.

So he emptied his mind, went back to sleep, and dreamed of nothing.

\---

Tony went to work on his armor to make it better and stronger and something the Red Skull would fear. Revenge was on his mind and he planned to take down the Red Skull and his organization. He already had Jarvis downloading everything available on Hydra and sent his AI to work on figuring out how deep Hydra got into SHIELD and other organizations.

As he worked, he kept glancing at the room that housed Barnes and, eventually, he opened the door.

Tony said nothing to him and Barnes did nothing more than sit up and stare at him with his dead eyes.

Tony left the Winter Soldier chained to the ground and staring off into space but, with his door open. Tony went back to work on his suit in front of that open door.

“Where is Steve?” Tony asked him.

Unsurprisingly, the man did not reply. Tony did not pause in his work as it relaxed him and was probably the only thing keeping him from attacking Barnes at the moment.

Instead of repeating himself, he reminisced. He talked about Steve. He told himself he was doing it to get the Winter Solider to talk but Tony knew it was more for himself…he had to keep Steve alive one way or another…

When the entire team came into his lab, he stopped talking to Barnes and working on his suit. The intrusion was sudden and without warning. Why had they all come together? None of them looked stressed so he figured nothing was wrong and he looked at them questionably.

“What’s up?” Clint asked. He looked from the open cell to Tony’s open Iron Man suit in question. Behind him, Natasha’s eyes were latched onto the open door.

Tony glanced at the Winter Soldier and saw the man was watching Natasha like a predator about to pounce.

“…I’m multitasking,” Tony retorted the obvious, nodding to his suit and Barnes.

“And how does that involve us? Why did Jarvis call us down?” The archer replied with just as much sass.

“I didn’t call,” Tony retorted.

“…Sir,” Jarvis said and then paused, an unusual occurrence for the AI. He continued, “A video file was sent to your personal email. It’s of Captain Rogers. I did not think you should view it alone.”

Tony dropped the tools in his hands and ruined all the work he had done for the last hour as they broke the sensitive chips. He didn’t notice. He could barely breathe.

“J-!” Tony squeaked, his emotions threatened to overcome him as relief that Steve was maybe still alive and worry about what was _in_ the file fought for dominance.

A hologram opened above one of the worktables and Tony scrambled over to the screen as Jarvis opened the video. The team came up behind him and Natasha lay a supporting hand on his shoulder.

Tony hissed when he saw his soulmate on the screen.

Steve was sitting in a chair. His arms were tied down by metal straps but Tony could see the healing wound where his soul implant had been removed. Tony grasped his implant with an excited thrill. He hadn’t died! _Steve had to be still alive!_

But Steve’s chest was bare, exposing numerous wounds and abrasions. Tony was sickened by the damage. They were hurting him badly and he wasn’t healing. Tony gasped to the hologram, “… _What did they do to you_?”

“Say it,” a voice resonated on the video, its speaker, the Red Skull, was unseen.

“Hail, Hydra,” Steve stated, his voice dead and defeated.

“Look at the camera.”

Steve did. His eyes were glassy with fever and Tony wanted to reach through the screen and hold him but all he could do was watch, hypnotized by the fact that Steve was there and alive and he was so scared about what they were going to do to him. Because this was not a coincidence. This was a show, for Tony, the Avengers, or all of them. The Red Skull wanted to deliver a message and he was going to use Steve to hurt them more.

“Repeat what you told me earlier, Captain.”

Steve’s brows pinched together and he whispered, “ _No, you_ _swore_. Tell him I’m alive. I’ll say whatever you want.”

“He’s watching right now. I’m giving you the chance to speak now.”

Steve’s eyes focused on the camera and he whispered with yearning, “ _Tony_ …I’m alright. I love you.”

Tony touched the hologram, making his soulmate’s form waver. With just as much yearning, Tony whispered, “ _Steve_.”

He wanted to be with his mate _so_ _badly_.

“Tell me, Captain, do you remember how you met your soulmate?”

The question came out of nowhere. Tony instantly assumed he was going to antagonize them somehow about being separated…until he saw the expression cross Steve’s face.

Steve stared at the camera and appeared at a loss for words. Breathing shallowly, a look of extreme and worried concentration crossed his face. After a long period of silence, his expression finally crumbled and he gasped, “ _I can’t_.”

Natasha’s fingers dug into his shoulder.

“According to the internet, you met in Central Park,” the Red Skull said.

“We did?” Steve asked, his expression pinched with worry and upset. He clearly did not remember and he looked like he was trying to see if the Red Skull was telling the truth or not.

“Why doesn’t he remember?” Tony hissed, his own worry growing with every second.

“Soon you won’t remember his name,” the Red Skull promised.

“ _No_ ,” Steve hissed. He pulled at his bonds and growled, “I’d die before I’d let you do that!”

“Turn the camera back to me,” the Red Skull commanded. As the camera turned, he ordered, “And give the Captain another round of treatment since he is sitting in the chair already and is so adamant about its lack of power.” Schmidt smiled at the camera and said, “I’m sure this has found its way to my fugitives and I have your attention by now. SHIELD is gone and Hydra is supreme. I am done expending resources searching for you. Turn yourselves over to me and I will be lenient with some of you and not so much with others. Do nothing and I will continue to break apart your Captain until all that is left is the shell of a man. I will make that shell a soldier for Hydra and then I will make him hunt every last one of you down until you are all dead. Your choice. Welcome to the new world order. Hail, Hydra.”

“Hail, Hydra!” A chorus of voices echoed him.

The Red Skull walked up to the camera and pushed it back to Steve.

Steve had been outfitted with a mouth guard and a machine that covered his head and half his face. He was breathing shallowly, trying to shake his head away, and was pulling at his bonds.

“Do it,” Schmidt commanded and the machine was turned on.

Steve’s entire body stiffened and he keened in a seemingly endless scream that ripped out of his throat and straight into Tony’s heart.

“STOP IT!” Tony shouted, unable to handle it.

The video paused with his soulmate frozen in his torment.

Tony jumped away from the worktable, clutching his mouth and weaving with no direction to escape. He felt like he was going to be sick. Whatever excitement he might have felt over Steve being alive was washed away with the horror that the Red Skull was doing to him.

“That is the machine that erases you.”

The statement was so quiet that Tony almost hadn’t heard it.

He turned back to the open door and zeroed in on Barnes.

He looked shaken. From where he was chained, he would have been able to see the video.

Tony ignored the danger and crossed the room to kneel in front of the Winter Soldier. He begged, “Please tell me where he is. Tell me where Steve is or that machine. Just tell me so we can save him before Schmidt hurts him anymore.”

Barnes’ eyes flickered emotionlessly from Tony to something over his shoulder. With an equally emotionless tone, he stated, “Tell me her name.”

Tony shoved the man away and screamed, “ _I DON’T KNOW HER FUCKING NAME_!”

“ _Tony_!” Natasha hissed. She grabbed him roughly and drew him away from her soulmate but the insane man took the opportunity to lunge at her. She and Tony fell back together and Barnes snarled at Natasha.

Tony stared at Barnes’ angry face and imagined Steve in his place, attacking Tony, trying to kill him, and unable to remember him. His heart broke simply imagining it. He couldn’t imagine what Natasha was going through.

“Bucky,” Tony whispered the name Steve had used. The Winter Soldier’s eyes focused on him. “ _Please_. Steve needs you. Please, help him. Don’t let him go through what you did. Please.”

Barnes’ fingers twitched and, for a moment, Tony thought he was going to do it, he was going to tell them. But then his dark blue eyes snapped up and he whispered to Tony, “Hail, Hydra.”

 Tony dropped his head in his hands in defeat.

What more could they do? Barnes had been cajoled, consoled, threatened, and a number of other things…but he refused to change his stance. He either said “Hail, Hydra” or asked Natasha for her real -.

“Natalia,” Natasha stated in a whisper. Tony’s head shot up and he saw Natasha staring at Barnes in anguish. She too must have seen the futility at this point. She also saw the man she once loved had no conscience. In a broken whisper, she continued, “My real name is Natalia. Once upon a time, only you and I knew that.”

She got to her feet and slipped out of the room as quickly as she said her name. The others wordlessly parted for her and watched her leave with troubled expressions.

Barnes watched her go and said nothing. He did not call for her head. He was silent and his eyes were unreadable.

Tony waited and hoped against hope that he was wrong, that Barnes would have a change of heart but the Winter Soldier did nothing. He merely leveled his cool gaze on the door Natasha had just exited and said nothing. He was probably waiting for Natasha to come back to sacrifice herself to him.

Tony got to his feet and hissed, “Trace the email, J. You have my permission to break any laws you have to, to find Steve.”

“Yes, Sir.”

\---

Natasha came back to the workshop once all of her teammates went to bed. They were all exhausted in trying to plan a way to save Steve, Tony especially so.

None of them thought to make sure Natasha did not keep her promise after dark.

She opened the door to James’ cell and wasn’t surprised to see him sitting up and waiting for her. His chains were looser so he could sleep more comfortably but that also meant he was more mobile and likely to attack her.

“Natalia and James,” he dryly stated the answers.

“I had been hoping you’d figure them both out on your own,” she replied, leaning against the doorframe. “…Do you remember anything? From before?”

His eyes seemed to actually focus on hers for the first time since they were reunited. He wasn’t looking at her as an objective to eliminate. He was looking at her as a person and he stated, “I knew _you_.”

“And do you still want to complete your mission?” She asked.

He stared at her and silence grew between them.

Her heartrate picked up in the quiet. Had she gotten to him? Had he remembered something? Was he unwilling to kill her now?? She so badly wanted to embrace him. She’d wanted to ever since she saw he was still alive. But, she held back, conscious of the fact that he may not strong enough to overcome the murderous compulsion of his mission.

“Natalia and James were in love,” he whispered softly.

“Yes,” she whispered, her heart breaking with his disassociation.

“Natalia meant everything to James.”

It sounded as if he reciting a story so she continued it by whispering, “And James means everything to Natalia.”

He stared at her with calculating eyes and stated, “I am not James.”

She smiled sadly at him and replied, “No, you are not wholly him right now. Nor are you Steve’s Bucky. But both are buried deep inside and maybe my James might never resurface…” Her heart twisted in her chest at the thought and flashes of their time together crossed before her eyes in an endless parade of happy, bittersweet memories. She sighed, “But you are my soulmate and being your soulmate comes with tasks of more than just loving you…I will also be there in times like these when you don’t even know yourself. Through thick and thin, you’re stuck with me.”

“Till the end of the line,” he monotoned, his eyes hazy.

She had no idea what he was thinking but she’d seen that look enough to know he was remembering something. She affirmed, “Yes, until the very end.”

She reached out to him. He could easily bite or grab her but she took the risk.

She reflected back to the moment they had met. James was the one who had called for a truce and held his hand out to her. She kept her hand outstretched to him and whispered, “When we first met, you told me that you never wanted something until you met me…I never told you, but the only thing I had ever wanted – _the only thing I still want_ – is just _you_. _You, James,_ and that will never change.”

He stared at her outstretched hand as she spoke. His gaze was unreadable. For all she knew, he was calculating the best way to kill her.

She stepped forward, bringing her within his personal space and keeping her hand extended to him.

“I love you, James,” she whispered with as much feeling as the last time she had said it on the day she thought she lost him.

He dropped his head so she could not see his expression but she remained unmoving.

Ever so slowly, he leaned forward and gently nudged his head into her hand. She could feel him shaking so she carded her fingers through his hair like she used to. He relaxed in seconds and leaned more heavily into her touch.

“I loved you too,” he gasped, his voice broken and fragile in ways she had never heard before.

She didn’t care about the danger at that point or the fact that James was referring to their love in the past-tense. She fell to her knees and drew her soulmate into her embrace. He pressed his face into the crook of her neck and did not make a noise and barely shook as he cried onto her shoulder.

\---

Bucky sat here.

It was his first thought every time they forced him into the chair.

When the machine was strapped to his head, the next thought was always Tony.

They were stealing his memories and Tony with it. The love that had grown between them was being shredded and he was beginning to question his feelings.

It was like he was stuck in the worst part in a horror movie except the horror just _wouldn’t_ _end_.

He tried with all of his diminished strength to break free or escape the power of the machine but it was all for not.

“Are you beginning to feel it? That empty feeling?” The Red Skull asked as he leaned over him closely. “That entity that is yourself, your very soul, can you feel it breaking yet?”

Dear God, yes. Yes, he was. It was like a hollow feeling inside him that grew every time they paced him inside the machine. Not that he’d ever admit it to the Red Skull.

“I knew old ladies back in Brooklyn who had a tougher punch than this thing,” Steve hissed. He was antagonizing the Red Skull and he knew it wouldn’t do him good but that flicker of annoyance in the man’s eyes was reward enough.

“I think we should keep you in the machine longer the usual,” Schmidt murmured. He nodded to the technicians and they lowered the contraption back over Steve’s head. Steve’s heart leapt into his throat and he struggled madly against his bonds.

When half of Steve’s face was covered, Schmidt hovered over to him again and whispered to him alone, “When I finally empty you, the first person I am going to have you kill is your soulmate. You will hunt him down and _will kill him slowly_. So much so that he will eventually be begging you to kill him in the end…So, as you’re sitting here, imagine it. Imagine breaking your soulmate and knowing there is nothing you can do to stop it. Imagine his blood on your hands. Imagine drawing that blood from his body, drop by tiny drop.”

The machine was turned on and, when he screamed, it was a mixture of pain, from his mind being torn apart, and horror, as he imagined what the Red Skull had planned for him and Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter might take a little longer to get out as I am in the middle of transitioning jobs and I am working both until Friday! In the next chapter, Steve's location will be uncovered and the group will attempt a rescue...hopefully nothing will go awry. Hehehehehe >:D 
> 
> Next time, Ch. 9: The Soldier's Orders


	9. The Soldier's Orders

When the Soldier woke, he was alone.

He sat up slowly as he remembered his target…Natasha, sitting with him and holding him through the night. She left him when he regained composure but her leaving left his chest feeling hollow in ways he never thought possible.

A confusing array of emotions twisted inside him as he thought of her.

It seemed, he really had lived a different life once with her and, before her, with Steve…

But his masters had always gotten him back in the end.

The sudden thought washed away any and all feelings he had on the matter, except for one. He was bitter by this simple fact.

His stomach ached with phantom pain but it was not like the usual pain when his past torture reminded him not think that way. It was something he could ignore now.

He felt sick by the prospect.

He may have betrayed his master once, but could he do it again?

His mind irrevocably turned to the handful of memories he had gained and, most importantly, of Natasha.

“…Natalia,” he whispered her once secret name. It slid off his tongue easily but it weighed down in his chest.

Last night, he slept restlessly as fragmented memories of Natasha invaded his usually dreamless sleep.

Once upon a time a man named James loved a woman who hoarded the name Natalia…but that man was gone. Even though she said he was buried somewhere within him, the Soldier knew the man she once loved was no more. He was destroyed by his master.

Pieces could be recovered but, he’d never be whole. From what he remembered, he loved her enough that he did not want her to be tied down to a fractured soulmate…it’d be too heartbreaking.

But could he do it for her? His heartrate picked up as his body instinctively supplied the answer.

What was it about this woman who made him defy the impossible?

…Because he’d do it. He’d save Steve…and then…

He’d get Steve out of there and probably end right back in his master’s hands. His master would torture him again for defying orders but the Soldier would survive it, just as he would survive the memory wipe that would destroy all of the new memories that had arisen.

He’d survive it all and go back to living his life as he was supposed to, as a machine.

James may have once loved Natalia.

And the man who once was James will set her free because of that love.

It would be better this way.

She did not have to burdened with him.

The Soldier redirected his gaze at the camera in the corner of his cell and stated, “I am ready to help.”

\---

Tony was jittery.

Even though his implant was zeroed and no longer connected him to Steve, he couldn’t stop touching it.

He was running his finger over it as Clint let Barnes out.

Barnes stepped out of his cell slowly but, even with his left arm still disabled, he moved with a step as sure as a panther in its prime. His eyes flickered over all of them but settled on Natasha. Tony’s hackles rose when he saw that. Was all of this just to be given a chance to attack her again? The others noticed too and the room grew tense.

Natasha didn’t look away from her wayward mate and murmured, “Where is he, James?”

Barnes flexed his hand and whispered, “The machine. It cannot be moved. It is too large and fragile. If they are still using it on him, he’ll be kept with it…in Washington D.C.”

Tony stood up straighter. He had been expecting having to fly halfway across the world to some godforsaken country. Not somewhere in his own backyard _and_ the country’s capital of all places!

“Where in D.C.?” Clint asked.

“Supply me with a map and I will supply you with a location.”

\---

The building belonged to SHIELD. Natasha surveyed the surrounding area through her binoculars. The structure had a team patrolling the perimeter and it looked like it was at a high security level. It was well guarded.

They were several miles away from the target location and on the roof of some nondescript office building. The entire team was surveying the location in their own way. Clint was at her side also looking through his own binoculars, Thor was flying reconnaissance, and Bruce and Tony were still in the quinjet, looking up the blueprints to the building.

James stood just outside of the quinjet by the open hatch where Tony and Bruce were working. She was not looking at him but she could feel his eyes watching her.

It was the only sign she had of progress with him…other than the fact that he didn’t seem to be trying to kill her. But, he hadn’t said a word to her since last night. He only looked at her. Was he now debating his choice? Was he already considering finishing his original mission? Was the man she held last night only an anomaly?

“How are the blueprints coming, Stark?” She asked without looking up from her binoculars. She was trying to memorize their grid pattern so they could more easily slip past the patrol and trying not to think of her soulmate’s intentions.

“Um, we already have the blueprints,” Bruce mumbled.

His worried voice drew her eyes. She looked from James’ blank face, to Bruce’s pinched face, and then to Tony, whose hands were working quickly on the monitors in front of him and they looked nothing like blueprints. She intoned disapprovingly, “ _Tony_.”

“I’m hacking the cameras. I just need to see him. I have to know he is fine,” Tony replied without looking up.

“…You might not want to see,” James stated without turning, he kept his eyes on Natasha, though she pretended she did not notice.

“What are you talking about!? Of course I want to see him!” Tony hissed with a venomous glare at James’ back.

Natasha understood what James meant and replied for him, “What if they are hurting him? Would you be able to stomach watching them torture him _more_?”

Tony blanched and stopped typing.

He dropped his head and painfully gasped, “I just _need_ to know he’s alive…”

 “…Let Jarvis finish the hacking and confirm,” Bruce whispered gently. “Steve wouldn’t want you to see that.”

Tony dropped his head and cursed, “I feel so useless.”

Natasha looked to her soulmate and he stared back without any emotion. For once, she and Tony could agree on something.

She felt useless too.

\---

The building was near invincible. The Avengers hunched over the blueprints and tried to figure out a way to get in without alerting Schmidt but were having little success.

Barnes hovered in the background, making the hair stand up on the back of Tony’s neck despite the uneasy truce they’d called.

He glanced up at Natasha but she was unreadable as she usually was.

They were getting nowhere on planning. It was Steve’s forte. Tony’s heart ached as he remembered his arguments with Steve on the importance of plans versus flying into the fray without one. He now saw how important it was to have, at least, some semblance of a plan…he would never risk his soulmate on a whim.

“No matter what we do, they’re going to notice us coming in so we need to give the Red Skull something…a reason to let down his guard,” Clint murmured as he looked for a solution to suddenly appear in the blueprints they had all scoured clean.

“Aye, a good tactic,” Thor murmured in agreement.

Tony stared at the zeroes on his implant as he wracked his brain for possible solutions. When one came to him, his heart seized and he covered his implant, as if to hide his decision from Steve. He whispered, “Me.”

He looked up to find the team looking at him with various expressions ranging from shock to horror.

Tony continued, “Schmidt is doing all of this to humiliate Steve. He made him kiss his boot, he made him say things he did not want to say, he’s degrading him by…by hurting him.” Tony paused as the breath caught in his throat. He gulped to clear it and continued, “He could humiliate Steve more if the Red Skull had the possibility to do the same to me and Steve having no way to stop it…”

“Tony we can’t-,” Bruce gasped.

“I can go to the west side of the building, the furthest area from Steve, and cause a scene to draw most of his forces to me. Schmidt would fight to get me alive. Then you guys can come in the east and get Steve,” Tony stated, already coming up with half a dozen ways he could do it.

“There are too many of them. They’ll overwhelm you!” Clint argued, “We can’t save Steve to only lose you!”

“And Steve would be heartbroken if that happened!” Bruce added.

“Then use me.”

Everyone turned to the forgotten Winter Soldier. Barnes was standing right where they left him but he now wore a resolute expression.

“I was supposed to return after I killed Natasha. They won’t attack me at first and, once I am in the heart of the operation, I will create a commotion. My mas-…” He paused, his mouth becoming a hard, thin line momentarily before he continued, “ _Schmidt_ will want to deal with me personally if I act out of line again. It would be the perfect opportunity for the rest of you to get Steve.”

Natasha stood up sharply and hissed, “That is the last thing we will do.”

“…Nat-,” he began.

“I will not let you sacrifice yourself,” she stated.

“There will be no need for any sacrifices,” Thor said as he stepped between them. “The cores of the plans are well constructed, but we need to move our troops around so that we all come out in one piece. The Red Skull had sent that missive to draw us out. He wants the Avengers. We are a threat to his power cache and he wants to remove us from the field. We need not send only one of us to the west. All of us will go as the distraction-,” He nodded to Tony and said, “ _-_ with the Man of Iron leading us to draw the Red Skull’s attention. One against many would surly falter but a team against the same force will stand stronger. Meanwhile, the Winter Soldier, who knows the layout of the building better than all of us, can go in and save our comrade while we fight.”

Tony’s surprise lasted a second and then he nearly chided himself. Thor wasn’t just a goofy guy who loved poptarts and infomercials, he was a master tactician like Steve. He had fought and led in hundreds of battles and was even more experienced than Steve. It was a good plan. It was their only plan…but it could work, except…he didn’t wholly trust Barnes, especially with Steve’s life.

And, despite the rational to Thor’s plan, Tony mostly did not want to do it because it kept him from Steve. He wanted to fly in there and be the first to find and help his soulmate.

“I am going in with James,” Natasha stated firmly before Tony could state otherwise. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at them, looking for anyone to challenge her.

Thor nodded and murmured, “You do not have to be there with us. For all the Red Skull knows, you are dead.”

“I don’t want you there,” Barnes hissed from his clenched jaw.

“I am not going to let you sacrifice yourself needlessly,” Natasha retorted, sounding just as angry. Tony looked between the two in confusion. Wasn’t Barnes trying to kill her? Why did he care if she followed?

Shaking his head, Barnes replied, “I can’t let you go in. We are more at risk inside than fighting outside. If you are captured, then Schmidt would –.”

She interrupted, “After you ‘died’ I was in his hands for _three_ _years_. I know exactly what he can do…” She shook her head and then whispered, “I will not let him do that again.” Her gaze spanned the entire group and she added, “To any of us.”

Barnes’ eyes had been focused solely on her until that moment. He followed her gaze and looked at the rest of them as if he was surprised to see them. He neutralized his expression but Tony saw the flicker of horror in his eyes. He hadn’t known the Red Skull had once had Natasha, _hell_ , Tony hadn’t known that too but this was the first time he’d ever seen the Winter Soldier show emotion toward the woman he was mated to. It was surprising to say in the least…

Something had changed since he last tried to kill Natasha. Tony had assumed he remembered Steve and wanted to help him more than wanting to kill Natasha but…maybe he had remembered his soulmate too…

Barnes walked off and, Natasha watched him go with a hard expression. She murmured to the group, “We’ll execute the plan in 30…” And then she walked off, following her soulmate.

Tony watched them go uneasily. Watching them was a constant reminder of what Schmidt was doing to Steve…and that his soulmate may very well be like Barnes by the time they reached him.

Tony clenched his fists and silently swore to Steve that they’d be there soon. They’d save him before it was too late.

\---

The Soldier felt sick. He was going to vomit. There was no stopping it but he could delay it long enough to separate himself from the others so they would not think him weak.

He went behind the quinjet and emptied his stomach as soon as he leaned against the transport.

He hadn’t heard Natasha’s light step and didn’t notice her presence until she was gently pulling back his hair to keep it from getting dirty.

When he finished, he breathed heavily and kept himself hunched over. Natasha let go of his hair but one hand slid down his neck and she lightly caressed his back.

“Three years?” He had to confirm. He had to ascertain that she was truly with Schmidt. Because, the memories he had of her, painted a picture of a woman akin to a god. She had been his sunshine, his life, his happiness…To know she had gone through the same evils as he had, sickened him to his core.

“Three years,” she repeated, affirming. His stomach churned again. He could not remember much about their relationship but…this, knowing she was in Schmidt’s hands, knowing she went through what he had, was the last thing he had wanted to hear.

“You can’t go back in there. You cannot let him touch you again,” he hissed. He straightened and locked eyes with her.

“I won’t let him,” Natasha swore. She grasped his arm and promised, “I won’t let him touch either of us again.”

He looked from where she held his arm to her determined face.

“Why won’t you give up on me?” He asked in a whisper as his arm hung limply in her hold.

She pulled him toward her with that connection and into an embrace which he did not fight. He fit in her arms like he belonged there and settled in with a sigh. He lay limply in her embrace and he did not attempt to hold her back but he took comfort from her touch. Natasha’s arms were tight around him, as if she were trying to hold him together.

“How many times must I remind you?” She whispered, “We’re soulmates. I love you. I always have and I always will.”

“I am not what you want,” he whispered.

“You’re right…you are what I _need_ ,” she reiterated.

He pulled back to see the truth in her eyes. Her face was open for him to easily read her love, concern, and sorrow.

“Natalia…” He whispered, unsure how to continue, but, the mentioning of her true name was enough. Her eyes illuminated with hope and she tenderly cupped the side of his face. She slowly rose to meet his lips. She gave him ample opportunity to pull away but he didn’t and mutely accepted her kiss.

It was chaste but sweet and tender. She held him like he was the only thing keeping her standing and he grasped her shoulders and held onto her like she was the only thing keeping him anchored in this world.

Her kiss made him want for a life more than that of a machine.

It was foolish, stupid even, in the back of his mind he knew his master would get him in the end, but, his newly discovered heart was breaking out of its shell and screaming for a chance.

He went with his heart and returned the kiss.

He broke the kiss when he tasted salty tears. He stepped back and was surprised to see she wasn’t crying or hurt. She smiled at him and wiped the tears off his own face.

“I don’t understand,” he gasped. He was not in pain. No tears should be coming out of his eyes.

She seemed to understand and whispered, “You’re happy, James.”

There was that name again.

“James and Natalia,” he whispered.

“We were happy and we can be again,” she promised and kissed him again. All reason left him when she kissed him because, at that moment, he believed her.

He followed Natasha back to regroup with the others. The Avengers were mobilizing for a fight but paused when they appeared. Most of their eyes fell on him.

Natasha drew all their gazes when she said, “Are we ready?”

They went back to work though they kept shooting him and Natasha sidelong glances. Natasha went into the quinjet and he followed her as closely as her shadow. They bypassed the seats and the team’s lockers until they reached the back where the large weapon’s locker was kept. She unlocked it and opened it without a second glance behind her shoulder. If Stark or the others were here, they’d be pointing out the danger of having him so close to such a large cache of weapons, especially since they fixed his arm.

She pulled out a semi-automatic and then held it out to him. He stared at the offered gun speechless.

“We are most likely going to meet hostiles. I need you to be able to fight,” she stated, dropping the gun in his hands. “And you’re the best with a gun.”

He automatically checked the barrel, the ammunition, and the safety switch. All was right. The gun was deadly and she had given it to him without any qualm.

“You are my target,” he murmured. The compulsion was nearly gone but it was still there, lurking in the back of his mind.

She pulled out some batons for herself and replied, “And you are my soulmate. How many more times must I remind you of this?” She turned to him with a teasing smile and he felt his lips twitch in return.

He strapped the gun over his shoulder and then pulled out some extra ammunition and clipped it to his belt. Once it was secure, he nodded to her.

Still smirking, she closed the locker and lead him back outside.

“ _Naaaatttttt_ ,” Hawkeye intoned as soon as they stepped out.

“He’s fine, Clint.”

“Will that be before or after he blows your head off?” He retorted, drawing an arrow.

“He would have killed her inside the quinjet when he had the chance,” Stark stated. He was already in his suit but the face shield was up. He looked at the Soldier and asked, “Right?”

He cautiously nodded.

“Good. Now that we’ve got all of that squared away,” Stark began. Stark stepped up to him and held out two earpieces. He explained, “They’re Steve’s. One is for him and the second is his spare. He’d want you to have it.”

The Soldier accepted the ear pieces gingerly. He pressed one into his ear and the other he pocketed.

Natasha lightly touched his arm and then announced to the others, “Let’s go.”

\---

Natasha had trained with James and she had killed with him. But, she had never been in the field with him, fighting hand-to-hand and special ops. They had only killed together from afar as he was training her in sniping and other long range kills.  

She didn’t know what to expect, especially so since she could not fully trust him.

They waited until the alert was raised at the base, signaling the Avengers’ attack, and then they moved in.

She shadowed James as he led them to a particular backdoor and then proceeded to kick it down. He let off two rounds as soon as he entered and then nodded her to follow him. She hustled past the body without a second glance.

She had never been in this particular building before but James moved through it like it was his childhood home. He knew where guards were waiting or alcoves for them to hide in. There were not many bodies on this side of the building thanks to the Avengers’ attack but any that they did come across did not stand a chance.

They moved like they were totally in sync.

Years of training with Academy provided them with both with similar fighting techniques and, even though they haven’t worked together in years, they responded to each other’s cues as if they had last worked with each other yesterday.

They moved around each other in a deadly dance.

It was…fun.

James shoved her into an alcove when a spray of bullets rained down the hall and she couldn’t hold back her chuckle.

He blinked down at her in confusion and she just smiled at him. The alcove was tight and his body was pressed into hers. She lay her hands on his chest and whispered, “I missed this. No one else could keep up with me like you can.”

The edge of his mouth perked. It was _so_ close to a smile. She so desperately wanted to see it again. He hadn’t smiled since before he “died” and she missed it dearly.

His near-smile vanished and he twisted his arm out of the alcove and shot at the Hydra agent down the hall. There was a muffled cry, a large thump, and then total silence.

James peeked around the corner and then stepped out. He turned back to her and held out his hand, saying, “You gonna keep up?”

She grasped his hand, letting him pull her out and kept holding onto him as she replied, “You’re the one who has to keep up with me.”

She ran forward and he was close behind with that near-smile back on his face.

He led them up a stairwell and then stopped her two levels down. He whispered, “The lab is through here.” She nodded and went to open the door but he stopped her. She looked at him questionably and he continued, “The technicians in there have a series of words they can say to immobilize me. We have to take them down as soon as possible.”

“Okay,” she whispered.

“…Schmidt doesn’t need the words,” he added with emphasis. She nodded as she remembered how easily James had fallen under Schmidt’s command.

“I wouldn’t have given him the chance either way,” she hissed, tightening her hold on her batons.

He nodded with a clenched jaw.

She cupped his face and she felt him instantly relax beneath her touch. She whispered, “Let’s save Steve.”

He nodded again and, after a moment’s hesitation, leaned down and lightly kissed her. She kissed him back, threading her hands through his hands, and then pulled back with a bittersweet smile.

He placed his hand on the door handle and raised his gun. She raised her batons and charged the electrical impulse to max.

James slammed open the door and she dove in low while he aimed high and started to shoot. Three technicians went down immediately. A fourth ducked down but Natasha pounced on him and hit him across the skull, knocking him out for a good couple of hours.

The room was large with not much in it other than a few tables and machines she could not name. But, the centerpiece was the chair that Steve had sat in. It was empty and James circled it like it was something that could attack them at any moment.

He was afraid to go any closer so Natasha decided it needed to lose some of its power.

She went up to James and picked up the gun he was still holding. She put her hand over his and made him pull the trigger, shooting the chair. Bullets peppered it and smoke began to rise from its new holes.

She let go and he slowly lowered the gun, staring wide-eyed at the chair.

“Where would they keep Steve?” She asked him.

He looked down at her with those same wide eyes, but, as his gaze focused on her, his eyes returned to normal. He stuttered a reply, “Down the hall. There’s a cold room there. They put me in there before putting me on the machine. It weakened me and it's probably doing the same to him.”

“Then let’s get him out and go home.”

He nodded but seemed diminished, like being near the chair had hurt him. She pulled him to the only other door and he picked up his step once he was far enough away.

She opened the door and James fluidly stepped in as soon as the space was available. One shot and the one guard fell. They ran in, weapons drawn, expecting more but no one else came out.

“They must all be fighting the others,” Natasha murmured but the unease remained. This was too easy. Would the Red Skull really have left Steve so unguarded?

James did not pause to consider her words. He walked up to the reinforced door and spun the latch. It opened with a creak and let out a blast of cold air.

Steve lay naked in the middle of a frosted room. He was curled in a ball and his breath came out in shuddering, cloudy puffs.

“Get a lab coat off one of the dead guys,” Natasha commanded. James instantly moved and ran back into the other room.

Natasha ran to her friend’s side and lightly called, “Steve?”

He was badly hurt and extremely emaciated. She tenderly touched his shoulder and whispered again, “Steve?”

He flinched from her touch but uncurled and focused his light blue eyes on hers.

He stared at her, as if he were trying to assess that she was real, and then, with a rough voice, said, “Hey.”

She smiled and whispered, “Hey, yourself. Want a ride to Tony’s place? He’s got a nice pool table in the basement.”

Steve smiled and nearly collapsed within himself with his relief. With a wet voice, he gasped, “You had me at Tony.”

James came in holding a long lab coat but came to a halt in the doorway.

Steve pushed himself up and gasped, “Buck?”

“Hey, Stevie,” James replied breathlessly.

Steve looked from Natasha to James and a wary expression came over his face. He looked down and whispered to himself, “Is this real?”

James came in and draped the lab coat over Steve. He kneeled in front of Steve and stated, “Hey, it’s me…it’s-it’s Bucky.”

Steve reached out and touched his arm, gasping, “I thought you were dead.”

James smiled.

Natasha’s breath caught in her throat. There it was, the smile she had been looking for.

“I thought you were bigger,” James replied.

His statement made Steve smile and he said, “I hung out with the Red Skull for a bit. I do not recommend it to anyone.”

“So I take it, it’s not permeant?” James counter.

Steve chuckled wetly and then pressed his head in James’ chest, gasping, “Please be real.”

James adjusted the coat around Steve’s broad shoulders and whispered, “This is real. I am real. Natasha is real. You are real…” His dark blue eyes flickered up to Natasha’s and he whispered, “ _We_ are real.”

She tightened her hold on her weapons and whispered, “We need to move out.”

James cajoled to Steve, “Come on, Stevie, we need to go. Stark is waiting for you.”

Steve sat up straighter and affirmed, “Tony?”

James nodded and murmured, “Come on.”

Steve stood stiffly and James helped him put on the lab coat to spare him some dignity. While he helped him, Steve whispered, “I have a soulmate, Buck. He’s a fella. Like I always wanted.”

“I know. I met him. He’s a punk like you,” James replied.

Steve lazily smiled and murmured, “Yeah, but I love him.”

Natasha hated to step between them because James seemed to be opening up to his friend, but she reached up and touched Steve’s forehead. He was burning up.

She hoped his odd manner was more from his fever than the effect of the machine.

She whispered, “We need to get you out of here.”

“And to Tony,” Steve pressed, swaying a little.

James offered his friend a shoulder and Steve leaned heavily on him as Natasha promised, “To Tony.”

They took Steve out of the cold room and, as soon as he was in the warmer air, Steve inhaled a deep breath and let out an equally large sigh of relief.

Natasha nudged James and said, “Maybe Steve should be the one to let the team know the package is secured.”

James smiled at her and her heart fluttered. It was the first time it was directed at her and she didn’t know it would affect her so. James didn’t seem to notice and dug the extra communicator out of his pocket. He held it out to Steve and said, “The honor is yours.”

Steve smiled at his friend and accepted the communicator. He put it in his ear and called out, “Avengers assemble!”

“ _Steve_!” Tony was the first to reply. His voice resonated over all of their communicators and he sounded so wrecked and relieved all at once. Tony demanded, “How are you?! Are you hurt?!”

Natasha and James got on either side of Steve to support him and started to help him down the hall.

“I’m fine,” he lied and grunted a little when they moved forward. “Where are you?”

“Distracting Hydra while the dynamic duo break you out!” Tony retorted. “Are you out yet?”

“We just got him,” Natasha replied, lightly touching the communicator to activate it. “But we have to get out now. Does it look like they have most of their forces out there still?”

“They just keep coming, I don’t know where they’re getting all these guys,” Tony grumbled.

“Tis like the mighty Hydra of old!” Thor thundered in, “The forces keep growing just as the beast kept growing its heads!”

“The heart of the beast is nowhere to be seen however,” Clint cut in. “There’s been no visual on the Red Skull.”

“Well hopefully he’s cowering away somewhere far from us,” Natasha mumbled into her coms. Her heart began to beat faster as she realized a flaw in their plan. Her eyes flickered up and, yes, there were cameras in the hall and probably elsewhere. Their surprise attack lost its surprise as soon as they were seen on their monitors... 

“The Red Skull does not run,” James stated to her and not over the communicator. She picked up their pace. They had to get out of there. If they were still monitoring the interior of the building then...

They pushed through the doors and into the lab where the chair was and then jolted to a stop as Natasha's worst fears were confirmed. 

The men beside her tensed as their eyes fell on their tormentor.

Schmidt, with a small army flanking the room, was waiting for them.

Natasha propelled both super soldiers back behind the door before Schmidt could speak.

Immediately, she berated herself. Schmidt must have seen through their rouse. He must have known they’d go for Steve! They should have taken it into account!! She so foolishly believed Stark's theory that Schmidt would want to go after him to humiliate Steve further! It was on point about that monster's power hungry personality...but he'd _need_ Steve to diminish him further.

“That will anger him,” James gasped like he was being strangled. He let go of Steve and fell into the wall. Steve staggered to the side and caught the opposite wall. His concerned focus was entirely on James.

She went to James and demanded, “Is there any other way out?!”

“No, only the cold room and a medical locker are down here,” he replied, his eyes glued to the door.

“You have to get into the cold room, we can’t let you hear a command or-!”

“Where are you, my asset?” Schmidt called and James stiffened beneath her hands.

“James,” she hissed, her fingers digging into his arms.

When he did not answer her, Steve imploringly whispered, _“Bucky?”_

James did not reply to either of them. His eyes were focused on the door. With horror churning in her gut, she knew that he had to be waiting for his orders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dang it, Red Skull, stop popping up when you are unwanted! 
> 
> Next Time, Ch. 10: Man or Machine


	10. Man or Machine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! It would have been up yesterday but my internet went out! :(  
> But it's back and I wanted to let ya'll know that took some inspiration from CACW in this chapter but it does not contain any spoilers from the movie! Enjoy! :)

He never understood why they called him an “asset.”

An asset was something useful or valuable.

He’d been taught that his only use was to obey, other than that, he was worthless.

He’d grown used to the hollow feeling that such a worth accompanied…until Natasha had changed that. She had given his life value again. It was taken away when they took him away but now, years later, she had presented him with the possibility of giving it value again.

Which was why he was trying with all of the fiber of his being to fight the Red Skull’s hold on him.

“Come forward now, asset,” Schmidt commanded through the sealed door.

Inbred instinct screamed at him to move forward. His muscles twitched painfully, wanting to move out of his immobile position. That memory of his past torture, which he’d been able to ignore earlier, hit him ten times worse than before as the actual man commanded him not twenty feet away from him. He nearly buckled under the pressure of not moving on Schmidt’s command.

He clenched his jaw so tightly that he feared his teeth might pop.  

“James don’t!” Natasha begged, her voice breaking through to him. Her hands were digging into his biceps but he barely heard or felt her.

“Schmidt is here,” Steve gasped over the communicators. Steve had fallen into the opposite wall and he was staring at him like he was a ghoul.

Stark let off a colorful stream of curse words, forcing him to removed his ear piece. He needed to concentrate but he knew Natasha saw it as a bad sign by the way she paled.

She raised her hand to her communicator and gasped, “Stark, we need you here now. I am the only able body and Schmidt has his strings back on James. He’s going to break at any moment.”

His communicator had rolled away after he dropped it and he did not hear the reply. Help was coming or they were alone. Either way, he was alone in fighting Schmidt’s words.

He remembered the last time he fought Schmidt like this, kneeling beside Natasha for what he thought was the last time. He’d been able to defy him by mumbling one extra word but now he had to stop his entire body from moving.

He shakily reached out to Natasha. She tensed but did not pull away as he cupped her cheek.

Her eyes searched his, looking for him in his gaze. He made sure to stare straight at her and washed away the mask he usually wore. She placed her hand over his, encasing his hand against her face and squeezed hopefully.

The machine that he once was, was fighting every move, every thought, everything that he was to gain control.

But he was no machine. James was a man who had a will, who could make his own choices, and who could love who he chose…and he chose Natasha.

He’d always choose her.

“ _You_ ,” he whispered through gritted teeth. “Y-You do not need to worry.”

She cupped his face with both hands and gasped, “James?!”

“I am done being that man’s puppet,” he hissed. He pushed himself back, further from the door and the pull of Schmidt’s voice. It hurt even more. His body was trembling from the pain. He kept telling himself it was all in his head, that the pain was not real but his body did not seem to understand.

“Stark and the others are coming,” Natasha placated. “We just need to hold out until then!”

He stiffly nodded and she planted a quick kiss against his lips. He leaned into the kiss, letting the glorious sensation distract him for a few seconds.

As her lips were connected with his, she gently slipped his gun from his grasp. He did not fight her for possession of the weapon. In fact, he was glad she took it. It made him a fraction less dangerous.

Natasha ran the back of her fingers over his cheek in a quick caress and then drew away to cock the gun. She commanded, “Let’s go back to the cold room.”

Steve followed the command without question and slid himself along the wall back to the room he’d been imprisoned in. Natasha helped James along the wall with a helping shoulder and then into the cold room itself.

She sat him beside Steve and James continued to shake. It had nothing to do with the cold. He was used to the cold but the pain from disobeying the Red Skull refused to dissipate. Steve was pressed heavily into his side and could feel his shivering.

“Stop hogging all of the warmth, jerk,” Steve murmured and wrapped his arm around him. Maybe Steve really knew why he was shaking, or maybe he thought to share the warmth. Either way, James leaned into his friend with a sigh and let his presence be a distractor.

Natasha positioned herself in the doorway and had her gun level at the only exit, waiting for the Red Skull or his agents to storm in.

“I’m sorry I didn’t go after you,” Steve whispered suddenly. James glanced up at Steve but his friend was looking down at his lap. The smile Steve had been wearing when he first saw him was gone and his mouth was a hard, solid line.

He foggily remembered a fall and reaching out to Steve but, even though he barely remembered it, he was positive that Steve had no fault in it. Either way, Schmidt probably tormented Steve about what had happened to James.

“Shut up, punk,” he replied. Their rude nicknames for each other was one of the first things he remembered about Steve. He hoped he used it justly and from the corner of his eye he saw the other man smile again. James felt a fraction better.

They both jumped as Natasha opened fire.

James focused on her. Concentrating on her helped him ignore the pain.

Fire was returned and she twisted her upper body back into the room. She quickly pulled the clip out of her gun to check the level and frowned. She must have been running out and James was the one with the extra ammo.

James shakily unbuckled his belt with the extra clips and tossed them to her. She nodded in thanks and then pointed only her gun outside and fired a few wild rounds to use up the last of her shots.

The shooting stopped and she drew her gun close to her person.

In the stillness, he heard the Red Skull again and this time he sounded venomous as he hissed, “Come _now_ , Soldier.”

James bit down on his lip and drew blood. The hot metallic taste of it ran thickly over his tongue. The tremors grew worse and Steve held him tighter. He whispered into James’s ear, “I’ve got you, Buck. _I’ve got you._ ”

Natasha leaned into the hallway and fired again. She leapt back in when the return fire was almost immediate.

“We’re not going to hold them off for long,” she hissed.

“We have to,” Steve replied, his fingers digging into James’ flesh. “At least until the others get here!”

The gun fire stopped again and was followed by a long pause. The three of them shifted nervously and James darkly wondered what was coming next.

Schmidt yelled in Russian, “Longing.”

James sat up sharply and the breath froze in his throat. Natasha looked at him with a pinched brow, not understanding.

His masters changed all the time. He could fight his masters whenever he regained enough memories, but the words – _the_ _trigger_ _words_ – they were unchanging. They were permanent. They were ingrained into him since the beginning. He could never fight them.

“Rusted,” the Red Skull continued and James shot to his feet, dislodging Steve from his side with a single push. He could already feel it. It was like the machine had metaphorically stepped forward and was hovering ominously behind him, waiting for the rest of the words to free it. The hairs stood up on the back of his neck as he imagined the machine breathing deeply in anticipation against the nape of his neck.

“Seventeen,” Schmidt said and the machine’s claws beginning to dig in. He clutched his head and screamed, “ _NO_!”

“Bucky?” Steve gasped, lightly touching his calf.

“James,” Natasha whispered, her fear written clearly across her face.

He couldn’t hurt her. He couldn’t hurt either of them. Never again.

“Daybreak.”

He’d die before he let it happen.

He had to stop him. He would not let them take control again. He charged Natasha and ripped the gun from her hands and then leapt into the hallway before she could stop him.

“Nine.”

James half yelled and half screamed as he ran down the hall to block out the noise. A team of six were positioned at the end with their guns pointing down the hall. Three were kneeling and three stood over them, all with their guns at the ready. They opened fire as soon as they saw him.

But, even with the gunfire and his screaming, he still heard the Red Skull announce, “Furnace.”

 He held his metal arm before him like a shield and angled his body as he weaved to avoid the bullets. With his other arm he shot at them as he was clipped and hit by their bullets.

“Benign.”

He took down four before he finally reached the last two and broke their necks in unison.

He had multiple gunshot wounds but he had to ignore them in favor of getting to Schmidt. He had to stop him. He was almost done.

“Homecoming.”

The Red Skull was standing behind more of his mercenaries. It didn’t matter. It wouldn’t protect him. James was an expert marksman. He raised his gun as Schmidt said, “One.”

He lay his finger on the trigger and then pulled.

The resulting empty click stopped his heart.

His belt was with Natasha. She had yet to change out the now empty clip.

Schmidt looked like he was holding back his laughter and he stated the final trigger with relish, “Freight car.”

James froze and all that he was emptied out of his mind and was trapped behind a dark curtain as the machine that was the Winter Soldier stepped into him.

The Soldier lowered his weapon, stood at attention, and asked in a dead voice, “What are my orders?”

\---

Natasha was right behind her mate as he ran down the hall into a volley of bullets. She too was hit but she kept running. The pain did not matter. Something was wrong with her mate and she had to help him.

She jolted to a stop when Schmidt finally achieved his control over James.

“What are my orders?” James asked, his voice devoid of emotion.

The Red Skull looked at her, handed James a loaded gun, and grinned, “Kill her and then her companion.”

Natasha was already backing up but was running away as James turned to her. Her worst fears were confirmed. She saw only black in his eyes. Her James was nowhere to be seen.

She turned around and ran straight to the cold room and slammed the door closed. It could only lock from the outside so the barrier was near useless but it was a barrier all the same. There was a handle so she held onto it and hissed to Steve, “We’ve got to keep this closed as long as possible.”

“Natasha, you’re hurt!” Steve hissed, worriedly eyeing her injuries. Her adrenaline was pumping so strong that she didn’t even feel the bullet wounds.

“ _Grab_ _the_ _door_!” She hissed and Steve moved without another word.

Steve stumbled to his feet and weakly grasped the handle. Natasha grimly noted the cold room was keeping him weak. He’d only been out of it for a few minutes and whatever healing that might have occurred was probably destroyed by his reentering the cold room. He could barely stand nonetheless help her. He gasped, “Bucky-?”

“He’s back under Schmidt’s control,” she replied. “He ordered him to kill us.”

“Crap,” Steve gasped. It was probably the first time she’d ever heard him curse and she almost laughed from near hysteria.

The handle shifted under their hands. Both of them tensed and held on with all of their strength, but neither of them were a match for a super soldier in his prime. Maybe if Steve wasn’t sick and hurt, he could have held out…but the “maybe” scenario wasn’t going to help them now.

They both went flying into the opposite wall as James flung open the door.

Natasha pushed herself to her feet but froze as soon as James cocked his gun and pointed it at her head.

Years ago, their roles were reversed. She was the one holding the gun and about to kill him. She raised her hands like he had and begged, “Please, James. Fight it. I know you don’t want this. You want me – _us_. You can have it just…just lower the gun.”

Did she look at him like that as she weighed the pros and cons of whether or not to kill him? Had her face been so blank?

From the corner of her eye she saw Steve struggle to get to his feet and gasp, “ _Bucky_ , _don’t_ –!”

James did the one thing Natasha hadn’t…

He pulled the trigger.

\---

Tony flew faster than he ever had before. It was reckless and was pushing his repulsors but he had to get to Steve.

Thor was the only one who could keep up with him and the others were racing to follow.

They blasted their way in and flew into the middle of an ambush.

Thor swung his hammer with a roar and slammed it down, knocking most in the room off their feet. Tony fired a few nano-rockets at some of the closer agents but he went straight to the imposing figure at the head of the group: Schmidt.

He slammed into the Red Skull and pushed him into deep the wall. It cracked around him from the forceful impact but Schmidt seemed unaffected. He grinned up at Tony and murmured, “Ah, the Captain’s soulmate. Did you come to save him? Do you want to know how often he called out to you while I hurt him?”

Tony shoved the monster deeper into the cement wall and growled, “ _I’ll_ _kill_ _you_!”

“You are not strong enough,” the Red Skull hissed and punched Tony across the jaw.

His armor crumbled and Tony flew back.

Tony instantly berated himself. Schmidt was the _first_ super solider! Tony was an idiot! He shouldn’t have let him get so close. His helmet was malfunctioning and the visor was going out. He needed to remove it. He took it off and glared at the Red Skull with his own eyes. He dropped the helmet as the Red Skull sat himself up straighter in the rubble.

“Without that suit you are nothing but a weak man,” Schmidt stated, pulling himself out of the wall. “And even with your armor, I can crush you with my bare hands. You are no match for me.”

Thor seemed to be handling the rest of the Hydra agents and was laughing at their attempts to overpower him. Tony did not even spare him a glance but haughtily stated to the Red Skull, “You might be physically stronger than me but you’ve lost. Face it Skeletor, you’re done.”

Schmidt just smiled his creepy fleshless smile and looked at the shot up doorway he’d been standing at when Tony first came in. The Red Skull stated, “I think it is you who will lose in the end.”

Tony didn’t understand at first but then he heard Steve.

“ _Bucky_ _don’t_ –!” Steve’s terrified voice echoed down the hall. Tony stepped toward it drawn to his soulmate despite the danger he posed in ignoring the Red Skull.

A gunshot sounded down that hall, clear and distinct. It was immediately followed by five more and then only silence reverberated down the hall.

His throat sealed with that silence. He opened his mouth to call out to Steve but no noise came out.

“ _That_ was the sound of your soulmate being executed, Stark,” Schmidt stated, grinning madly as Tony felt like the world around him was crumbling. “I think I _win_ in this situation.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter than usual because I couldn't help but leave ya'll with this one last cliffhanger! What can I say, I like to leave ya'll hanging! :D But, this is almost done! I will be wrapping up the story soon and everyone will live fluffly ever after, I promise! <3
> 
> Next Time, Ch. 11: Home


	11. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW intense reaction to the ending of last chapter! No need to worry! The new chapter is here and the end is approaching! Once again, I'd like to thank all of you who have been reading, commenting, bookmarking, and leaving kudos! It's things like that that give me the drive to keep writing! :)

Steve jerked violently like the first shot had personally hit him.

But it was Natasha who was the one Bucky had fired upon.

With the first shot, she staggered back, touched, and looked down at her chest in absolute disbelief.

Bucky fired again and Natasha fell back against the wall.

Steve could only watch, his horror mounting with each resounding shot.

When the final bullet clicked into the barrel, Bucky turned the gun on Steve. Steve leaned back, weakly trying to escape the bullet he knew was meant for him. Bucky pointed the gun at his head and Steve squeezed shut his eyes. He immediately pictured Tony.

The gun fired and tiny shards of ice and metal bounced off his cheek. After a pause, Steve cracked open his eyes.

Bucky lowered the gun, his arm shaking. Steve looked to his side and saw a crater in the wall beside him. He then immediately looked to Natasha. She too turned to him and he was surprised to see she was also uninjured. She stepped back from the wall and he saw the space around her was peppered with bullet holes.

Natasha’s eyes quickly scanned Steve and then she turned back to Bucky and wetly whispered, “James?”

Bucky dropped the gun and clutched his head, his legs swaying beneath him.

Bucky’s eyes flickered up to meet hers. His gaze was pinched with pain and confusion and he hissed with feeling and effort, “ _Natalia_.”

Natasha’s breath hitched at the sound. His eyes rolled back into his head and he fell. Natasha jumped to him, catching him before he hit the floor.

“ _STEVE_?!” Tony’s horrified voice instantly distracted Steve from the couple before him.

A second later his soulmate flew into the room. All of Steve’s hurt and worry disappeared as soon as he saw Tony and he saw the same reflected in Tony’s eyes.

Tony landed and separated the distance between them in seconds. With tears forming in Tony’s eyes, he reached out to Steve and gasped, “ _Steve_.”

Steve reached up to him and Tony fell to his knees, falling into Steve’s arms with a sob. After taking in the state of his suit and lack of helmet, Steve gasped, “What happened to you? Are you alright??”

Tony buried his face into Steve’s hair and whispered, “I…I am fine but I thought…I thought you’d be dead. When I heard those shots –!”

Steve tightened his embrace and tears spilled from his eyes as his emotions overcame him. Tony was _here_. Despite the Red Skull’s efforts, Steve still remembered him. They were going to be okay.

As much as Steve wanted to stay in Tony’s arms, he had to pull back. He lightly kissed the side of Tony’s neck that was exposed and then looked to his best friend. Natasha had his head cushioned on her lap and she was lightly petting his hair.

“He’s fine,” Natasha whispered. She was also crying but a small smile graced her lips. In a broken voice she gasped, “He beat it...”

\---

Thor was close behind Tony and ran into the room, demanding, “How fairs –?!” The Norse God grinned as soon as he saw them and he announced, “Then we are victorious!”

Tony smiled at Steve as he knelt before him. His soulmate looked like crap but he was _alive_. He was already planning on smothering him with attention and food and doctors and so much more attention that Steve would probably get annoyed but Tony didn’t care.

He wasn’t going to be leaving his side _ever_ again.

“Yeah,” Steve sighed, answering Thor and leaning heavily into Tony. “But you guys could have gotten here a little sooner.”

Tony chuckled at Steve’s sass but it was cut off by Natasha asking, “Where’s the Red Skull?”

Tony’s stomach clenched. He immediately assumed the worst and Schmidt was gone. Tony had left him as soon as he heard the gunshots. The snake _must_ have slipped away!

Except, Thor grinned and replied, “The mighty Hulk holds him in his grip. Our comrades caught up to us and now hold down our foes.”

Tony sighed in relief and Steve grasped his hand. Tony turned to his soulmate with a smile. Steve smiled back and then turned and stated to everyone, “And next to fall will be Hydra, but first…can someone find me some proper pants?”

Tony laughed and Natasha rolled her eyes. She looked up to Thor and motioned to Barnes as she asked, “Can you help me with him?”

Thor nodded and Natasha directed the large man to carefully lift the unconscious man. In the moments they took to maneuver Barnes carefully, Tony took the time to share a private moment with his soulmate.

Tony’s laugh died off into a chuckle and he smiled gaily at Steve. He’d probably laugh at every corny joke Steve made to lighten the situation. He was so relieved Steve was there. It was better than the alternative… _so much better_. Tony felt his eyes heat up again and his lips tremble, making his smile waiver. He embraced Steve again to remind himself he was really there and to hide his face in order to regain composure as he was overcome with emotion.

Steve returned the hug and murmured, “It’s okay.”

Tony nodded and took in a deep breath and pulled away stating, “We brought your uniform. Clint should have it.”

“Hooray for pants,” Steve murmured dryly.

For once, Tony had no witty reply. He just smiled at his soulmate, grateful he was there and the same man, despite the Red Skull’s attempts.

Steve smiled warmly at him and cupped his face and Tony automatically leaned in and their lips touched in a long needed kiss. It felt like years since he last kissed his soulmate but his mouth was familiar as when they had last touched. Their kiss was pretty chaste considering the lack of tongue action but they pressed their mouths into each other’s like they were sharing their last breath.

They broke it and their eyes sought each other’s immediately. Through their gazes, they communicated with each other their mutual love and adoration.

“It’s good to have you back,” Tony whispered.

“You too,” Steve replied. His eyes twinkled for a moment but then suddenly that light went out. Steve looked down in shame and whispered, “Schmidt…his machine…it took a lot out of me. There’s a lot of patches…a lot of things I can’t remember –.”

Tony’s heart clenched as he irrevocably remembered the video Schmidt sent him.

Tony grasped his cheek and made Steve look back at him. Tony promised, “Then I’ll tell you what happened and I will happily redo any kisses you forgot or we can make so many new memories that you would’ve been bound to forget the others in the meantime…” Tony traced his thumb over Steve’s cheekbone and whispered, “No matter what, you are my soulmate and a few memories won’t change that.”

Steve surged forward and kissed him again. Tony staggered a little under the push but he readily wrapped his arms around Steve and returned the kiss.

“If James can remember, so can you,” Natasha stated, interrupting their private moment.

“Romanoffffffff,” Tony groaned, turning to where she stood by Thor as he held her soulmate. “Please give me and Steve five more minutes to be cliché as we reconnect in a lovey dovey manner!”

Steve scoffed and gasped, “Oh my God, I remember our clichés. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.”

“Good,” Tony replied. He turned back to Steve and pressed his forehead against Steve’s. He stated, “It is very good. It means when we ride off into the sunset, you’ll be able to appreciate how cheesy I am being.”

Steve snorted and pushed himself up. Steve struggled which made Tony frown and all his good feelings dampened. He quickly stood and helped his not so super soldier to his feet.

“I’m ordering bedrest and I’ll feed you hot soup and rub your feet.”

“Tony, I love you but please, stop,” Steve begged for him to put an end to the clichés.

Tony’s heart flipped in his chest. The only other time Steve had told him he loved him was in that video from Schmidt but now here it was, for real, and in person. Tony knew before he was kidnapped that there was something there, but to hear it aloud…It made him feel like the happiest man alive. Steve loved him. Despite everything they had been through, they still had each other and were in love.

“…And I love you,” Tony whispered the direct endearment to his soulmate for the first time. He reached out and squeezed Steve’s hand, smiling warmly at him. He felt like his love was practically oozing out of his pores. This man had so encompassed his very soul that he could barely live without him.

Steve paused as he realized what had passed between them. He met Tony’s eyes and seriously stated, “I mean it. I never loved anyone the way I love you.”

Tony’s heart stupidly beat faster. He knew Steve meant it but it still had made him irrevocably happy to hear. Tony gently cupped his hands around Steve’s neck and whispered, “I know. These last couple of weeks…they were the worst in my life. I felt lonely before I met you and totally crushed when you were gone because…because you are my love _and_ my life. I love you, Steve. I didn’t know happiness until I met you.”

Steve’s eyes were glassy and he traced the side of Tony’s face with the back of his fingers as a smiled wobbled its way onto his face. He whispered, “I feel the same. My world has grown brighter with you in it.”

Steve leaned heavily into the wall to help support his weight as he kneeled down to kiss him. Tony’s hands dug into Steve’s neck and he pressed himself into his soulmate, wanting to physically show Steve how much he _needed_ him.

They broke apart only to breathe but, even then, their eyes speared into each other’s gazes with such intensity that Tony felt his knees shudder.

Tony turned to the others, with an arm across Steve’s back to give him support. Barnes was curled into Thor and his face looked more relaxed than he had ever seen before but, he knew looks could be deceiving.

He and Steve could reconnect later. They needed to get back to business.

“What happened in here? Is Barnes really back to normal?”

Natasha shook her head, lightly running her fingers through his hair, and murmured, “He needs more time to heal and remember.”

“And we’ll help him every step of the way,” Steve promised.

Natasha nodded. Her usually stoic face was blank but her eyes danced with joy as she looked down at her soulmate.

They went down the hall to rejoin the rest of the team. Clint had his bow drawn and was eyeing a group of the surviving captive Hydra agents. Hulk held the Red Skull, just like he had when they had captured Barnes. Schmidt hung limply in his arms but venomously glared at them as they entered. His glare narrowed when he saw Steve and Natasha were alive.

Tony couldn’t help but grin smugly at him.

“Foiled again,” the Red Skull stated dryly.

“No ulterior plot? You didn’t plan on Barnes turning, did you?” Tony teased.

Natasha stepped past him and, before the Red Skull could reply, she decked him hard across his jaw. Tony jumped and bit back a yelp of surprise.

Schmidt picked up his head and glared at Natasha with blood beading on his thin lip. If it could be called a lip? Tony wasn’t sure what to classify Schmidt’s thin mouth but the question that formed immediately disappeared as Natasha hissed, “I swore I would kill you for what you had done to James.”

Schmidt smiled and Tony’s spine tingled unpleasantly. What was going on in that freaky skull of his?

The Red Skull whispered to Natasha, “So kill me. Kill your defenseless prisoner. Show your teammates how merciless I made you. Show them everything I taught you and then live the rest of your life with them keeping a figurative distance from you, the acolyte of the Red Skull.”

Natasha’s clenched fists trembled.

“Natasha,” Steve whispered. She turned to Steve, her eyes glassy and her jaw clenched in rage. “This is what he wants. Don’t give into him. Let’s lock him somewhere where no one can hear him and live out the rest of our lives.”

She turned back to Schmidt, still shaking.

Steve continued, leaning forward in Tony’s hold, “With him out of power, Hydra will crumble. We’ll get SHIELD back on its feet and right the world. If you kill him though he’ll be a martyr for Hydra…”

Her trembling stopped and then she punched Schmidt again. Steve winced but Natasha spun on her heel and left Schmidt hanging uselessly in Hulk’s arms. She returned to Thor’s side and lightly touched Barnes’ head. Tony’s fists tingled and he wanted to get a shot in but Steve squeezed his side. One look at his soulmate and Tony knew he wouldn’t leave his side or he’d fall without his aide.

Schmidt spit out some blood and hissed, “This isn’t over. I may be stopped now and Hydra may crumble but we will rise again. You cut off one head and two always-!”

Hulk loosed one of his meaty hands around Schmidt and then slammed him into the wall before he could finish.

“Stupid Red Man talk too much,” Hulk grumbled.

Tony threw back his head and laughed. It was, by far, the best way to stop a villain’s ranting so far.

“Let’s go home,” Steve whispered in his ear.

Tony turned his head to look at his soulmate and smiled at him. In his mind, he was already going through all of the information Jarvis had complied on Hydra and thinking of solutions of how to take down the organization. They couldn’t return to the Tower just yet, but, it was not lost to them and even if it was, Tony wouldn’t care that much… He had Steve and wherever he was, was where home would be. He agreed, “Home.”

\---

They went back to the safe house and the Avengers split off as they divided into different areas to be alone with their soulmates and families.

Natasha directed Thor to take James to her room and, surprisingly, her teammates did not kick up any kind of fuss. Maybe they were too tired to object or maybe they felt less worried about James since he broke through some of his brainwashing. Either way, he was not going back to that room that was no bigger than a closet.

Thor gently laid her soulmate onto her bed and she whispered, “Thank you.”

Thor nodded and murmured, “Sleep well.”

She couldn’t stop the smile that came to her lips and she replied, “Yes, thank you, I will.”

Thor nodded again and departed with his cape billowing behind him. She watched him until he closed the door behind him.

She turned back to James and drew her blankets over him. She tucked him in, parted his hair, and then just watched him for a few minutes, letting herself finally pause to marvel at his existence. She sat down on the bed beside him and continuously ran her fingers through his hair. It was dirty as they hadn’t let him bathe when he was in his cell so she groomed him the best she could with her fingers.

He woke sometime later as she was doing this. He lazily blinked open his eyes and leaned into his touch. In a breathless whisper, he said, “ _Natalia_.”

She smiled and felt her eyes warm up but she blinked away the possibility of tears.

“Hello, James,” she whispered.

He did not move but his eyes slowly spanned the room and then focused back on her face. He asked, “Schmidt?”

“Sedated and currently housed in your old cell,” Natasha replied. “Stark is reaching out to some of the pieces of SHIELD that survived Hydra’s attack. He’s going to help them reform and have them take the Red Skull somewhere far away.”

James closed his eyes and asked in an almost undiscernible whisper, “Did I hurt you? Or Steve?”

She ran her fingers through his hair and promised, “We are fine. You broke through it just in time.”

His breath hitched and he pressed his face into her thigh. He turned his body toward hers and wrapped his arm across her lap, catching his hand on her hip.

“This seems too good to be real,” he whispered.

She knew how he felt. She was still amazed that he was there, in her bed, curled into her side, alive, and free of Schmidt’s control.

“We’ll get used to it,” she stated with a small smile.

“…No, we can’t,” he replied and drew away from her. She watched him in shock as he sat up and pushed himself against the wall and away from her.

“Wha-?”

“You saw what I did. Those trigger words totally disabled me. I am dangerous. I should be put back into cryo until we find a way to fix my brain,” he stated grimly, not looking at her.

Her chest had seized as she watched James draw away from her both physically and emotionally. She saw it in his eyes as he tried to cut her out. She shot forward on her knees and grasped his arm.

She hissed, “You broke through it, James!”

“And what about the next time? Or the time after that?”  He argued sadly. He was making no attempt to break away from her so she wrapped her arms around him and cushioned her head just above his heart. His heart was beating faster than usual but she couldn’t tell if it was because of their contact or conversation.

“You will break out of it again and again. Every day, you not only regain memoires, but you grow stronger…” She placed her hand on his chest and whispered, “And you seem even stronger when you are with me.”

James grasped her hand on his chest and vehemently whispered, “ _I am_.”

“Sorry to tell you this,” she stated sarcastically. “But I’m not going to follow you into cryo…I want to live…and I want – no, I _need_ to live with you. You won’t hurt me if you stay out of cryo but if you go in…” She didn’t finish. She just squeezed his hand and bit down on her lip, letting him come up with the answer. She paused as his gaze became introverted. She continued, after a short elapse in time, and whispered, “Cryo isn’t your only option, James. I’m also an option… _We_ are an option.”

“You shouldn’t put your faith in me so blindly…” He murmured, no looking at her. “My failing to defeat the trigger words just once can be an irreversible, _fatal_ mistake…”

“And if a solution to this is never found?” She countered, “Would you stay cryogenically frozen _forever_?”

He sighed her name, “Natalia…”

“ _James_ ,” she countered with more emotion. She sat up and cupped his face with both of her hands, forcing him to look at her. She sighed, “I don’t even know if you want to be called James anymore…I know you used to go by Bucky but, either way, I love _you_. James, Bucky, or whatever else you’d want to go by…I want to spend the rest of my life with _you_ – no matter the danger – I want _you_ with me.”

Those dark blue eyes she so loved became red rimmed and glassy. A single tear broke free, overflowed, and slid down his cheek to flow down her thumb. With a husky voice, he whispered, “I push and push and push but…but you just keep coming back to me.”

She smirked and retorted, “You can’t get rid of me.”

He was still crying but he smiled at her and looked on the verge of laughing as he shook his head and murmured, “No, I guess not. We always seem to end up together again anyways.”

“Good,” she replied and pressed her mouth into his. He hissed sharply to collect his breath and then slid his arms behind her and drew her closer to deepen the kiss.

Their lips parted and James whispered into her mouth, “James. I want you to call me James…only you. Everyone else can call me Bucky…but my true name belongs to you alone.”

She blinked open her eyes to find him openly staring at her. His guarded expression was gone and his eyes were warm. She could easily read the love in his gaze. She smiled tightlipped to hold back her tears and she gasped, “And I only want you to call me Natalia.”

“Natalia,” he sighed into her mouth and she caught his breath as she kissed him again.

\---

It took Steve a little over a week to fully recover. He slept a lot and ate a lot and spent all of his waking moments with Tony. True to his word, Tony helped him fill in the gaps to his memory and his reminiscing even triggered Steve to remember things himself.

 It took Tony that same week to topple Hydra from the safety of his laptop as he sat next to Steve’s bedside.

…Okay, fine, he didn’t do it alone. Natasha and Clint _had_ gone into the field for the less than savory parts that needed to be completed in order for success. And Coulson and Fury _might_ have joined up with their team and added in their two cents for the best ways of dealing with Hydra or SHIELD.

 _But_ Tony did most of the work.

Ask anyone…mostly ask him. He did it. He’s amazing.

Steve quirked an eyebrow at him as if he knew what he was thinking about.

“Shut up, Steve, you know I’m right,” Tony countered to Steve’s wordless look.

Steve huffed a small laugh and both of his eyebrows rose as he smiled at Tony. He was lying in bed, eating his second bowl of cereal that Tony had artfully prepared. Tony had his feet propped up on the bed with his laptop on his lap as he worked out the final details with Coulson on the Avengers’ reemergence.

Steve murmured, “I’m sure whatever is going through that big, glorious brain of yours is absolutely right, dear.”

“That sounds like you are pandering to me…” Tony murmured.

“Never!” Steve teased, lightly bumping Tony’s foot with his.

Tony smiled warmly at his soulmate and then whispered, “We can go home tomorrow.”

Steve’s eyes crinkled and he gratefully sighed, “I miss _home_.”

Flushing to himself, he murmured, “It wasn’t the same without you, you know? It was horrible…”

Steve nodded and replied, “I hadn’t realized how infused you were in my life until you were gone…It felt like I was missing a piece of myself…”

Tony nodded too knowing exactly to what Steve was referring to…hell, at one point he had thought Steve was dead and the world just became…bleak.

“Tony…when I was with Schmidt I did a lot of thinking about us,” Steve murmured a little self-consciously. With a flush, he looked down at his lap and played a little with the edge of his blanket. “…I realized we never discussed our future.”

“You and me, we’ll be together, simple as that,” Tony stated.

“Steve chuckled and murmured, “Obviously, but what else? Would you want to marry? Start a family? Stay at the Tower? Stay in the Avengers?”

Steve tampered off and looked at Tony, searching his gaze for his true feelings.

“Yes to all of those,” Tony replied easily. He didn’t even have to think it over. He wanted all of those things with Steve too.

“R-Really? Even kids??” Steve gasped, “I thought you wouldn’t –.”

“I like kids and they like me,” Tony pouted. His playboy stigma never gave him points in the kid department…

Steve settled deeper into his pillows and said, “Well you are a child at heart…”

“ _Hey_ -!” Tony whined in an indignant tone.

“Whatever child we end up adopting will love that about you,” Steve interrupted, shocking him silent. A sudden nervous excitement and the overall happiness for the future erased his shocked expression, replacing it with a big smile to emulate his true feelings. They could do it and he and Steve could raise an awesome kid.

“You are such a dofus,” Tony muttered.

“I love you too, Tony,” Steve sighed.

Tony stood and put his laptop down. He could finish the work later. Right now, there was a certain super soldier who needed attention. He crawled onto the bed and Steve grinned excitedly.

Tony had limited their intimacy in order for Steve to heal faster but his super solider was definitely more than a little sassy today, maybe he was alright to receive more friendly attentions.

Steve was propped up on the bed with a few fluffy pillows and was sitting at an obtuse angle. He parted his legs for Tony to crawl between them and then Tony collapsed onto his soulmate’s chest, making Steve let out a little “oomff” upon landing.

Tony did not reply with another ode of love. He lets his actions do the talking as he slowly rubbed his hips into Steve’s, slid his hand under his shirt, and grasped his jaw tightly in order to kiss him as filthily as possible.

When Steve moaned deeply in response, all the blood in Tony’s body rushed to his nether regions. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he and Steve were not going to leave that bed without making love vigorously and multiple times to release all of the pent up emotions they had for each other.

In a few days, they would return to the Tower and continue to make love and simply love each other. When Tony first started SI Online, it was out of his impatience to meet his soulmate but, now that he had him, he couldn’t wait to live out the rest of their lives. He wanted everything with Steve and he gave him that and _more_.

Love was not a strong enough word to compare to what he felt toward Steve. He was his everything…his other half, and Tony couldn’t be happier.

\---

The concept of a home was…unusual.

With SHIELD and the Avengers reemergence into the world, the Avengers, their mates, and families were able to move back to their Tower…and James went with them.

Everyone was excited to be back but James was the only one who had never been to the building before and he did not know how to react. He was cautious and still wary of the trigger words but he was also…content.

He had Natasha.

This last week was spent with them relearning each other and recounting memories lost.

She gave him a tour of the Tower and finished with her own floor. She explained it would be his as well and…he couldn’t explain the emotion that rose up with this information…

A part of this place belonged to him now.

He felt like he was overreaching. Natasha was enough. He shouldn’t have Steve’s friendship nor be given a home. He did not deserve it.

But that yearning tugged at his heart. He wanted to belong. He no longer wanted to be alone.

He reached out to Natasha, threaded his fingers into hers, and huskily whispered, “Thank you…”

She smiled sadly at him. She probably saw through his façade. She pulled on their joined hands and pressed herself into James’ chest. His breath caught in his throat whenever she did this. He was always overcome with the clash of the newness and the familiarity of her touch.

She never seemed bothered by his surprise or reluctance.

And he loved her all the more for it.

He wound his arms around her and pressed her tightly into his embrace. He buried his nose in her red hair and inhaled deeply. Her scent always brought forth distant feelings of times long past.

She began to kiss him, marking his neck in ways that made the breath catch in his throat.

She never pushed him for intimacy. She knew he was still adjusting to his memories and to their relationship.

He was grateful at first but now, _by_ _God_ , it was driving him mad. He pushed her against the wall with a growl and she snickered when he sucked marks onto her neck too. Her snickers turned into groans when he palmed her breast and rolled his hips into hers.

“I think I am ready to christen our new home,” he murmured into her flesh.

Her fingers dug into his shoulders and she gasped, “Really?”

They hadn’t made love since they had first parted, all of those years ago.

James drew back to cup Natasha’s jaw and he stared into her gorgeous green eyes. He vowed, “Yes, there’s no one else I’d rather be with.”

Her eyes became glassy with unshed tears but she had the largest smile on her face as she wrapped her arms behind his head and kissed him. He picked her up and led her to the bedroom feeling like the happiest and luckiest man alive.

After everything they’d been through, they’d made it.

They were together.

They were in love.

They were home.

And they were finally safe.

Their lives were only just beginning and he couldn’t wait to create more memories with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Time, Ch. 12: Epilogue: A Cliché Decade Later…  
> Hints to the epilogue can be found in the latest tag, just added! ;D


	12. Epilogue: A Cliché Decade Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter is here! Once again, thank you to all of you who have read this, left kudos, commented, bookmarked, or simply followed!

“They’re both wayyyyy too young and will abuse it relentlessly,” Tony warned Bucky.

Steve’s smile only grew larger as his best friend rolled his eyes at his husband.

The team and their extended families were on the terrace. Most of the Avengers were by the small pool Tony had installed just last year but Steve, Tony, Bucky, and Natasha stood around the grill. Bucky was cooking almost three dozen hot dogs on the huge grill but he also kept one eye on the cooking meat and another on the pool and the children playing within it.

“Your son might abuse it but I doubt my son will,” Bucky retorted.

Tony sputtered out the soda he’d just taken a drink from and argued, “Peter is a genius! He knows better! And he’s _older_ than Stepan!”

“He’s eight and takes after you in his ‘humor’,” Natasha stated, quirking a single eyebrow at Tony.

“You used it on me last week to win at poker,” Bucky stated and poked at the hot dogs.

“They’ve got you there, hon,” Steve stated with a smirk, bumping Tony lightly with his hip.

Bucky fully turned to Tony, gripping the skewer tightly, and stated, “Everyone else on the team knows it in case one of our enemies gets a hold of my trigger words. Our children should know the safe word for the same reason. The last thing I want to do is hurt them. I’ll take that over Peter using it on me for a little joke.”

“Peter and Stepan and the little spy you’ve got brewing in there –,” Tony waved to Natasha’s baby bump and continued, “– are going to make a game of it. Who can knock out Uncle Bucky first?”

“If it’s a competition then Stepan will win obviously,” Natasha replied, smoothing a hand over her round stomach. Bucky smirked at his wife, his dark eyes twinkling with mirth. Natasha smiled wilily back.

Tony sputtered for a moment and then countered, “No, it’d be Peter!”

“Stepan may be younger but he is quicker on his feet,” Bucky rationalized. “And he can speak Russian which is the language of my safe word.”

“I learned about your safe word in high school history class so Russian isn’t needed and did we already forget the genius card where Peter is concerned?” Tony retorted sarcastically and Steve took it as his cue to step in.

“We are not going to compare our children,” he stated. “We are discussing whether or not they are responsible enough for such a powerful secret.”

“They are,” Bucky stated and Natasha nodded.

“…I think so too,” Steve replied, lightly grasping Tony’s hand. Tony looked at him and Steve said, “Peter is smart. He’ll know when he should and should not use it.”

“He will soooo use it,” Tony droned, making Steve smile.

“Just like you do,” Bucky murmured, turning the dogs.

Tony groaned and said, “Fine. Fine. I see I am outvoted and by my own soulmate.” Steve smiled appreciatively at him and Tony turned to the pool. He called out, “Peter! Stepan! Come here!”

Both boys paused their splash battle with their older cousins.

“What is it?!” Peter called back.

“Uncle Bucky wants to give you pranking material to use against him,” Tony replied.

Peter whopped and scrambled out of the pool. Stepan looked at his parents in confusion.

“Come here, милая,” Natasha called out to her son. Stepan followed Peter out, leaving the Bartons alone in their splash battle.

Peter ran straight to Tony’s side and eagerly wrapped his wet arms around Tony’s waist. Tony ran his hand over Peter’s dark brown hair and smiled warmly at his son.

They’d adopted Peter when he was orphaned as a baby and both of them fell in love with the boy in less than 24 hours. Steve melted a little internally as he watched Tony with their son.

Little Stepan trotted up next to Natasha and wound his arms around her upper thigh. At five, he looked like a mini version of Bucky with his dark hair and eyes. He came as a surprise after the couple tried to get pregnant for years. Steve clearly remembered the day he was born, Bucky held him with such a large smile. Steve hadn’t seen him wear one like that since before World War II.

“Boys, I have something serious to tell you and don’t listen to Uncle Tony,” Bucky commanded. He held out the skewer to Steve and he wordlessly took over the barbeque. As Steve turned the dogs again, Bucky folded his arms across his chest and stated, “You both know there are trigger words that can give someone temporary control of me?”

The boys nodded but Stepan also frowned, clearly not happy by this fact.

Bucky continued, “Well around the time Stepan was born, I remembered a safe word that can stop me. As soon as I hear it, I fall unconscious.”

“Really??” Peter gasped, sounding a little too excited. “It totally knocks you out??”

“Yes, Pete,” Bucky sighed. “And I want you two to know it just in case someone uses the trigger words on me around either of you. But that is the only time you are allowed to use it. Don’t listen to Tony, this isn’t to be used as a prank.”

“And if you do, I’ll take away your tablet,” Steve added to his son. Peter paled like he had just threatened his life.

“Unless Uncle Bucky is cheating at cards,” Tony whispered loudly to Peter. “Then you have free range to knock him out.”

Peter grinned excitedly at Tony and Steve intoned disapprovingly, “ _Tony_.”

“What’s the word?” Stepan asked.

Natasha knelt beside her son and whispered the word in his ear. Tony bent down and did the same for Peter.

“Use it only if you have to,” Bucky commanded. Stepan slipped from Natasha’s side and ran to his father. Bucky knelt and caught his son.

Stepan promised, “I will, Papa.”

“And you, Pete?” Steve called over his shoulder as he started to remove the hot dogs from the grill.

“Yeah, _Pops_ ,” he droned.

“Alright, get back to the pool, you two,” Tony said and the boys did not need another word of encouragement. Their somber expressions vanished as they leapt into the water and soaked their cousins and the rest of the Avengers. Poor Bruce and Betty had been sitting with only their feet in the pool because they did not want to get wet but were now thoroughly soaked.

Bucky helped Natasha up and, once she was standing straight, he pressed his hand onto her belly with a small but loving smile.

Steve watched them with a happy, warm feeling.

Bucky started to grab the hot dogs and Steve turned off the propane.

"I'll take care of the rest," Tony said, once Bucky filled the first plate. Bucky nodded and he and Natasha slipped away, leaving Steve and Tony alone. Tony picked off the last of the hot dogs and stated, “You had that look again.”

“What look?” Steve retorted with a grin, leaning against the grill. 

“The ‘Look at Natasha’s belly I want another baby too’ look,” Tony replied, closing the grill cover. The last of the hot dogs were out and sitting on the plate beside the grill. 

Steve stepped up to his soulmate and pressed his hips into Tony’s and hooked his fingers on Tony’s hip bones. He murmured, “Maybe I’ve been thinking about what it’d be like adopting another kid.”  

“Why haven’t you said anything?”

Steve shrugged and replied, “I am so happy right now with you and Peter that I can’t imagine us being _even_ happier.”

Tony dropped his head onto Steve’s chest and groaned, “You are such a sap.”

“So?” Steve eagerly asked, “What do you think? Do you want to have another kid?”

“SPUTNIK!” Peter excitedly screamed.

Tony laughed and Steve groaned. Even though he was rolling his eyes at Peter's actions, he was still able to see Bucky fall.

“On second thought, forget about it. The world cannot survive two children of Tony Stark,” Steve murmured to his husband. He slipped out of Tony’s hold as the older man chuckled and Steve scolded their son, “Peter! You’re not just losing out on your tablet privileges but also lab time with Dad too!”

“ _POPS_!” Peter whined in terror, bobbing in the pool.

“Don’t ‘ _Pops’_ me, come help me with Uncle Bucky,” Steve retorted as he stooped next to his unconscious friend. He turned to Natasha and said, “I’m sorry, Nat.”

“He lasted longer than I thought he would,” she stated with a smirk. She nodded to the food on the table beside her and said, “We’ll start eating.”

“Okay,” Steve replied, glad to see the hot dogs had reached the table before Bucky took his fall.

With a defeated expression, Peter climbed out of the pool and helped Steve pick Bucky up. Steve took the majority of his friend’s weight and Peter unhappily held his uncle’s feet. His friend could be out anywhere from a few minutes to an hour so he took him inside.

As Steve laid Bucky out on the couch, Peter mumbled, “I just wanted to see if it would work…”

“It works, Pete…” Steve sighed. He sat down on the couch and grasped Peter’s hands, pulling his son closer to him. His eyes couldn’t help but fall down on Peter’s exposed soul implant and had to force himself to hold back his smile. Peter had less than seven years until he met his soulmate. He’d still be a teenager when he got to meet his soulmate. It was nothing like the amount of time he and Tony had to wait until they could meet and he was so happy for his child.

At that moment, however, he wasn’t going to celebrate Peter’s countdown. Steve stated, “Uncle Bucky’s safe word is not a joke.”

“ _I_ _know_ ,” Peter moaned.

Peter’s lower lip was jutted out and he was not looking at Steve. Steve sighed and then made the decision to tell his son something he thought he would be telling him when he was much older. He stated, “Uncle Bucky almost killed me and Aunt Tasha once.” Peter tensed in his hands and stared wide-eyed at Steve. Steve continued, “He was under the control of the trigger words and, back then, we didn’t know he had a safe word. He got as far as pointing the gun at both of us before he broke free. We were lucky, but next time we or you or Stepan might not be so lucky…That is why we told you two the safe word. I nor Uncle Bucky ever want you to have to look down the barrel of his gun.”

Peter squeezed his hands and whispered, “It really happened?”

“Yes, it did,” Steve replied. “When Uncle Bucky remembered the safe word, he was so happy that he cried…He was terrified of losing control and hurting us. So, please, don’t treat it like a joke.”

“Okay, Pops,” Peter murmured morosely.

Steve rubbed at Peter’s wet hair, mussing it into odd angles. Peter shook himself out of Steve reach with a small smirk and Steve said, “Go eat, kid. I’ll be out in a moment.”

“Okay!” Peter said, sounding more enthused already as he ran outside.

Steve watched him until he ran out and then turned back to Bucky. His eyes were open by tiny little slits and Steve winced. He asked, “How much did you hear?”

“Most I think,” Bucky murmured and slowly sat up. “I doubt Peter will try it again for a long time after that scolding.”

“He needed to see how serious it is,” Steve argued.

Bucky scooted next to him and bumped into his shoulder as he replied, “Oh, I think he did…” Bucky paused and then stated, “You’re a great father, Stevie.”

“You too,” Steve replied immediately.

Bucky upturned his right arm, exposing his implant. He’d gotten a new one the day before he and Natasha married and didn’t meet her eyes until they were at the altar so their countdown was timed for the moment they married.

Steve upturned his left arm, beside Bucky’s, showing his own implant. He got a new one almost as soon as they had returned to the Tower. He felt uneasy without it.

“Remember before the war, when we were talking about being neighbors and our kids being best friends?” Bucky asked.

“I remember you telling me that I couldn’t have kids with a man,” Steve retorted dryly, making Bucky chuckle.

Bucky turned his head to look outside the window where their families were all gathered around the large table outside. Steve looked with him. They were already starting to eat and Tony and Peter were sitting next to each other and Tony had an empty space next to him where Steve would sit.

“I didn’t think this would be possible,” Bucky whispered. “I thought I’d die without finding my soulmate.”

“We both beat the odds,” Steve murmured happily, smiling as he gazed at his soulmate and son. Bucky was also watching his family and they were content to keep doing so as their sad memories made this moment all the better. Steve finally whispered, “When Peter yelled the safe word, Tony and I were in the middle of talking about adopting another kid.”

Bucky turned to him and gasped, “No! Really?”

“Yup!” Steve grinned excitedly.

“Boy or girl? I vote girl. Natasha Jr. will need a partner when facing off against the boys,” Bucky stated.

“I still can’t tell if you are joking,” Steve said and looked at his best friend with a narrow gaze, trying to determine if he was pulling his leg or not. Bucky’s eyes were sparkling with mirth and Steve couldn’t tell why! Ever since they found out they were having a girl they’ve been calling her Natasha Jr. but did so with a laugh and were not revealing if it was actually going to be her name or not.

Natasha’s head snapped up and, when she saw Bucky was awake, yelled, “James! Steve! Get out here or your boys will eat everything!”

Stepan and Peter seemed to take it as encouragement and grabbed seconds immediately.

Steve and Bucky chuckled. Steve murmured, “Well, I guess we should go out there.”

They rose together, bumping their shoulders as they did, but Bucky practically ran out of the room and to his soulmate’s side. Steve watched with a fond smile as Bucky kissed Natasha and rubbed her belly. He then picked up Stepan and sat where he had been and put him on his lap. He kissed his son’s cheek before he started grabbing food for himself.

Steve passed them and Thor before finally settling into the empty spot next to Tony. His soulmate smirked at him but his eyes were full of warmth and love. Before the War, Steve hadn’t thought this was possible either. He never thought he’d be with a man or…be this happy.

Steve cupped the back of Tony’s head and pulled him into a quick kiss.

“I love you,” Steve whispered into his mouth as their kiss broke.

Tony grinned at him and whispered, “I love you too, you sap. What brought about this sudden declaration of love?”

Steve grinned, already knowing Tony’s response, and said, “I just couldn’t help it. I am _so_ in love with you.”

“You are the most clichéd sap I have ever known,” Tony murmured against his lips and kissed him again. Beneath the table, Tony’s hand squeezed Steve’s thigh and it took all of Steve’s willpower not to groan into his mouth. Tony _really_ liked it when he was “cliché”. It had become a strange kink of his. But that was what their lives had turned into and Steve wouldn’t change it for the world.

“Get some food, punk!” Bucky yelled out across the table.

Steve and Tony broke apart and Steve shot a glare to his best friend. With a smile, he retorted, “I will but you just ruined our moment, you jerk!”

Tony leaned into his side as Steve and Bucky tossed barbs. Natasha and Stepan continued to eat but watched both of them in amusement. Bruce and Peter were building something on Peter’s plate out of the remains of his food while Betty overlooked with a smile. The Barton children were egging Thor on to see how many hot dogs he can eat in a minute. Clint and Laura were laughing at their children’s efforts.

Outsiders looking in may think their family was slightly dysfunctional but to Steve, it was more than perfect. He had his soulmate, an amazing son, a team of people who would fight and be his friends until the end, and his best friend, a man he thought dead. He wouldn’t trade this for the world.

He was happy and he was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The safe word is canon in the comic books and should be in the MCU too!! GAH! DX
> 
> But enough about that! Thanks again for reading everyone! Ya'll are awesome! 
> 
> My next fic will be solely superfamily (and maybe some spideypool :D) and it will be a sequel to [August 20th](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2082486/chapters/4530894). The first chapter should be posted in a couple of weeks! Hope you guys will check it out! :)
> 
> Thanks again! <3


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